But Who Would You Live For?

You Can't Trust Me

Tyler:

There's something to be said about spending time with Jenna, and that something is usally positive. She was the only girl I've ever dated who I could completely be myself around. She accepted me for me. The good, the bad and the ugly. And there was so much ugly to accept. Jenna matched my sense of humor. There was nothing she ever laughed at that I didn't also find funny. And vise versa. The same thing went for things that made me sad or angry. Even when I had my breakdowns, when the world was too much for me to deal with rationally, Jenna never left my side. She'd hold me and talk me down. And when I was too deep in self hate, when blurry was too prominent to be ignored, she'd just sit there with me. Knowing, even if I didn't want to be spoken to or touched, I didn't want to be alone.

It didn't take me long to realize I loved Jenna. The woman I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. The female God put on the Earth for me and I for her. My rib. Jenna filled me with the kind of happiness that I'd only ever experienced with Josh. Yet, unlike Josh, Jenna was my safe option. I didn't need to hide with Jenna. Jenna would never start dating some has been Disney star just to spite me. Jenna never made me that angry.

Which brings me back to what I was thinking before hand. There's something to be said about spending time with Jenna.

I watched her from my place on the blanket in the grass as she chased a flock of small birds through the park. The scene was sweet enough to give any onlooker cavaties. Her straightened blonde hair brushed against the back of her sky blue dress as she moved. The skirt of her dress danced around the flawless skin of her legs. She was moving fast enough to only be a blur of soft colors. The birds stopped flying away from her when she opened her hand to release a bunch of breadcrumbs. She seemed to notice her mistake of throwing them around herself insteading of tossing them a few feet away immediately. The birds rushed in her direction and Jenna made a mad dash towards the blanket before they could overcrowd her.

She was giggling uncontrollably at herself when she dropped to my side on the ground. "Did you see that?" Her wide, blue eyes stared into mine and my breath caught in my throat when I tried to speak. We'd been together for so long. When would I get used to how ridicuously beautiful she was?

"I saw." I assured her when words were finally able to be formed from my mouth.

"I thought I was a goner for sure."

"Those birds wouldn't have hurt you."

"They were coming right at me!"

"You surrounded yourself with food, of course they were going to come closer."

"You should try it." She dug into the picnic basket between us. (Cheesy, I know.)

"No." I heaved a sigh as I sat up. Chancing a glace at the watch on my wrist. I didn't really look at the time. It didn't matter. We'd been out exploring this town all day. I needed to get back to the bus to clean up and maybe take a nap. "We should actually get going soon. We have a show tonight and soundcheck is in a couple of hours."

Jenna looked like she wanted to protest but thought better of it. And thank goodness for that. I wasn't sure I would be able to look at her pouty face and deny her whatever she wanted of me.

She bounced back to her feet. Still full of that same energy she'd had for hours. Her small hand reached down to me in an invitation to help me up. One I happily accepted. After collecting the basket and blanket, we walked hand in hand back to the bus area. The five minute trip was done in complete silece. The only communication being the nonverbal puppy eyes and flirty smiles we kept throwing at each other.

"Jenna! Tyler!" I froze momentarily in my tracks at the sound of Debby's voice calling out to us.

Jenna was too busy waving back to notice my change in mood. Debby ran from her place at the side of the bus to approach us. Which was completely unnecessary considering the fact that we were heading in that direction anyway. She couldn't wait thirty seconds?