Im Coming Andy

49

Happy late Christmas and New Years guys !

The song to the side, is a good way of showing how Mallory is feeling right now about everyone basically turning on her, and I really like this song haha :) so I used it for those two reasons. And plus I got a new laptop for Christmas guys so this is the first official post from my room lol. Yes! Do you know what this means??? NO MORE GOING ALL THE WAY TO MY COMPUTER ROOM TO UPDATE BOOKS AND WATCH NETFLIX! SO THAT MEANS MORE UPDATES! (and more Supernatural, Arrow, The Secret Circle, Avengers, and Heroes etc.) AH I have no words but thank you mom and grandparents. Love you! :) <3

- Chapter 49 -

( Song of the Chapter - Watch Me Bleed ~ Scary Kids Scaring Kids )

As soon as the distance between us increased, it was like everything had changed, it was like we were afraid to get any closer at all. There was an awkward tension floating around in the car and it was becoming uncomfortably hard to breath. Sitting next to him just made things all the more worst, but through it all, neither of us broke the silence no matter how long we sat there. I grew more and more uncomfortable as he stared straight ahead, the road being the only thing that interested him as I continued to drive to our destination. The one place that was suppose to be a surprise. I wasn't even sure why I was still making an effort to go. Things were so different now and I wanted to know why. That kiss was suppose to make everything better, not worst. I was hoping it would actually change the way I was feeling right now, thinking it would heal me more, but I guess I was wrong. Was I a bad kisser? Did he not love me anymore? What was happening?

I knew I had undeniably real feelings for him, but I wasn't sure what I was suppose to do with those feelings. I needed his help, and as he pushed me away, as everyone pushed me away, I was just losing it even more. I was losing my damn sanity and I needed him to get me through this. I needed someone to get me through this. I took a quick glance at him to see he was in deep thought. He didn't want anything to do with me, so why do I even try. All everyone ever does is push me away until I'm gone. Why do I try?

Because you want them to care. You want them to fix you...

I couldn't believe I was pushing my feelings aside anymore. It was only making things worst. Maybe if I actually let myself have something I wanted, I'd be better. I'd be fixed.

"Andy." I spoke up waiting for him to answer. "Please talk to me."

Andy looked up at me with clouded eyes. "Mallory..." he started, searching for the right words to say. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. "I don't want to make things awkward between us, but I think that kiss just did. You don't have to tell me you're not ready for me. I understand, I'll back off." He said sounding disappointed.

"Andy stop it." I stated, glancing over at him before I turned back to the road. "What we have is awkward, and I am mad that I'm just now noticing that. Whatever this is... it's always going to be this way. But honestly I'm okay with that. I'm okay with what we have right now, because I know I care about you." I stated deliberately. "I just don't want to mess things up with you. I've done enough damage to you already, I need to take responsibility for what I've done, and if that means stepping up to the plate and taking care of our child, and being the father it needs, then I'll do it right by your side. I did this to you and I sure as hell don't plan on backing out now. I love you, and I'm going to love our baby just as much." He declared assuredly.

My breathing seized before a massive fieriness washed over me. Just the thought of dispiriting him made me feel extremely dreadful for keeping something like this from him. I cared about him and I never intended for this to go this far, it just took effect without even the slightest bit of significance. I barely thought twice about it until I understood the consequences of keeping this from everyone. The moment he finds out that there isn't a child in me anymore. That I was incapable of having his child. What if I was incapable of having a child at all? What if I was truly unable to bring forth a child unto the world. I had always wanted a child, and now seeing that I had somewhat taken that opportunity away from the boy in the passenger seat next to me, I felt sick. I felt undoubtedly sick. I had to pull over. I could taste a familiar bitterness in my mouth already, a warning from my own body telling me I needed a toilet and fast.