Threes a crowd. - Now Complete.

Part 38

"Well, talk." Jane held his hand as they sat down at the table. "Please Paul."

"The band." He shrugged, "That's been on the cards for a bit to be honest. None of us are happy. There's a lot of bitching and now, the new management thing, the blokes on the rob but John and the others, they're all for him. I'm not."

"Can't you all discuss it?"

"I've tried Jane." He shook his head, "It turns into a slanging match, those three against me. It's not worth falling out over. Not like this. They're my mates, they always will be but I think it's just time to go our separate ways."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"How do you think I feel?" Jane could see he was blinking back tears, "I'm no one  without the lads. Nothing. I'll be unemployed and useless at the end of 27."

"No you won't!" Jane was shocked at the defeated attitude, " Paul, if it's the end of The Beatles then OK but that doesn't mean you can't carry on in music without them."

"I can't write without John. I'm rubbish without him!"

"NO! You're not Paul. Who wrote Yesterday? You. On your own! You're amazing with or without John."

"That's one song Jane. Is that all I've amounted to? One song?"

"Of course not! That was just an example!"

"Leave it Jane. I've made my decision. Once this album is done I'm going to tell them I'm leaving."

"Ok." Jane paused. "Is that why you've come here, to Scotland?"

"Partly."

"Then why? You let Mary down."

"I know but..."

"But what?"

"Jane, I know I've hurt you. I totally get that. I betrayed you." said Paul softly, "But when I found the divorce papers, I didn't see the point in trying any more."

"Trying what?"

"With Mary." 

"WHY? You love your little girl! She loves you!"

"I know but once we're divorced, you'll meet and marry someone else. It's inevitable!"

"So why does that mean you ignore Mary?"

"She'll have a new dad, new siblings. I'll be this once a month person that means nothing to her. I just felt that it was better to step out of her and your life now rather than cause her further confusion as you move on and she grows up. She's young enough to forget about me and accept someone else as her dad."

"How can you assume that? Mary needs you! Her dad! Not some substitute! How else is she going to live with the name McCartney...she needs you!"

"I'd expect you to want to change her name if you remarried."

"IF! That's just it Paul. IF! I have no plans or desire to remarry EVER! PLEASE don't push Mary and me out of your life!"

"I'm not pushing you away Jane, you're pushing me....the divorce or have you forgotten?"

"So this is payback, because I filed for divorce like I told you I would? You destroyed my life Paul. Everything I had and wanted was destroyed the day I found you in our bed with someone else! Never mind Mary, I was carrying your baby but you still did it!" She wiped away her tears, "That's not fair Paul. You can't blame me for wanting to divorce you or take it out on Mary either! We loved you. You betrayed us!"

"I know, I KNOW!" Paul suddenly burst into tears. "I've been a fool. I've lost you! My dad won'r speak to me , the bands a mess. My life is falling apart Jane! What's the point in anything anymore? I might as well drink myself into oblivion! No one would care if I  died tomorrow!"

"I would! Mary would! You can't say that!"

Jane watched in horror as Paul put his head in his hands and cried.

"Paul don't! Please." 

She moved to him and wrapped her arms around him. He continued to cry like a baby.

"I'm sorry for everything Jane," he sobbed. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I love you still! I don't want to lose you and Mary for ever! PLEASE Jane!"

Jane was now crying. "I know you love me and I still love you. You know that. But how can I ever trust you again Paul? You've had three different women that I know of since we've been together...then God knows how many more when your on tour! How would you feel if I was sleeping with other men?"

"I'd hate it! It would be so wro...." he stopped short.

"Wrong?"

Paul nodded.

"So if it would be wrong for me, why was it OK for you? Tell me!"

"It wasn't. I'm sorry! I wish I could change it Jane, but I can't but I promise you that if you'd consider giving you and me another chance, I'll show you. I can be the husband you deserve. I can make you happy!"

"Paul, I can't!"

"Please Jane. I'm begging you from the bottom of my heart, please  give you and me another chance, Please!"

"MUMMY!"

"Saved by the daughter!" said Jane in relief, "Paul, I'm not saying yes or no but I need to think very carefully about what I want, I can't answer you now,"

"But you'll think about it? Please?"

She nodded. "I will."