Phil breaks up with Dan and he can't cope, doing all the wrong things, hanging with the wrong people. Until, one day, he learns he made the worst decision of his life but he couldn't go back now.
Phil comes into the picture years later seeking a pl...
Hi Hi Hi there, my little droogies, I'm redoing this entire book because I started this in 2016 and its overly cringe. So here are the regulations and trigger warnings you'll find in this.
Self Destruction (Self-harm), Substance Abuse, Gay Romance, Bad Innuendoes, incredibly descriptive Panic and Anxiety attacks, Alcoholism and SMUT.
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~Third Person~
"Dan . . . We need a break." Phil was pacing, back and forth in his overly messy bedroom. He practiced that particular line over and over in his head, surely Dan would understand but it was still scary to him. Phil knew he would break him, Dan didn't take well to situations like these. He didn't want to cross boundaries, he just needed a good way to tell him. Phil's close friend, Chris, had told him some things that made Phil overthink into an oblivion. He didn't know why but he seemed to persuade the thought to Phil that Dan wasn't the best for him. No, honestly not persuaded, more like forced. He felt as if he were being manipulated. But instead of going in depth about the problem, he said it once more,
"Dan . . . I think we need a break," He pinched the bridge of his nose tightly, irritated that he felt this much anxiety in one setting.
"W-What?" Phil whipped around to see the one and only in his room, looking absolutely mortified. Phil heard his soft voice crack and he wanted to reel in on himself at the sound. It was heartbreaking, Of course it would be, dumbass; He just overheard you pretending to break up with him, Phil scowled to himself and tried to avoid all eye contact.
"Oh god." Phil muttered pathetically under his breath and his rough, callused hands slid through his hair without hesitation, He shut his eyes tightly, afraid of seeing his reaction to this.
"What do you mean? We need a break? We were . . . we were doing fine -- Why?" He was practically choking on his words, His eyes were glistening and his arms made their way around his waist.
Phil felt regret and guilt pool into his gut, Even though Dan was a strong independent person, who relied on no one but himself, He was equally as fragile, and Phil knew he had broken him into a million pieces. He looked up to find Dan sitting on the bed, staring at the ground helplessly.
"I'm sorry . . . we just . . . I've been thinking too much lately and I-- I think it's best that we part ways, for our own good." Dan hadn't moved, but he had looked up at Phil with eyes full of tears, and bit his trembling lip.
"Did I do something wrong?" The sentence came out raw and shaky, Phil could see that he was trying so hard to keep himself together, and with that realization, his chest panged with guilt but he stared at the younger in sorrow.
"No, Dan . . . I just need time." Phil was tired already, he wanted to explain himself, because he knew that Dan wanted answers but god, it was much harder than he thought, with Dan actually sitting there, on the verge of a complete breakdown
Phil didn't know what to do at this moment. He wanted to help and comfort Dan but he knew that he was the one who caused him to feel like this, so Phil was confused, Should he leave him? Or should he suck up his act and apologize?
"What did I do, then? If I didn't- Are you . . . did you find someone else?" Dan had become frantic now, and Phil was starting to panic.
"I can't . . . I can't be here anymore, Dan. I just- I'm sorry, I have to go." Phil couldn't be there now, He couldn't comprehend what he was doing as he grabbed the duffle bag -- He didn't even know what to say .
"Are you really sorry though? Just go . . . you obviously don't love me anyway." He suddenly let out a wet sob as he got to the door, and before Phil could protest, Dan pushed him out of the room and Phil proceeded to walk out of the apartment. He felt his chest heave in, felt as if he couldn't even breathe altogether.
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I'm sorry, I just needed the first chapter to be the breakup.
