Requiem For A Dream // Phan

15; Tattoos are for Men,

**TW**

Quote Of the Day: If you don't stop and take a look at life, you might miss it. It goes by pretty fast..

Question of the Day: When you're flustered, or anxious, or sad, what is the first thing you do to distract yourself?

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We got to the tattoo parlor almost fifteen minutes into the walk, I was surprised to see Sally's hair salon just across the street, which made me realize, this was actually happening. I smiled to myself, I guess it was time for a change, I thought that it'd be more difficult to just suddenly decide I wanted to be different when I've been like this for all my life, so It was a good and bad thing for me.

Good, because this is something I've never done before, and or thought about doing before so this was new to me, but bad because, what if I wasn't meant to be 'pastel' and I look totally not me, or if it didn't match my style or personality.

I had Phil's voice in the back of my head this whole time, silently reassuring me, and telling me sappy quotes, but one stuck with me. You'll always regret the chances you didn't take. Cheesy, yes, but heartfelt since it was coming from Phil. He always had said those things from his heart, no matter what the thing may be, he always had some type of positive response to give back.

"So what would you like?" The man had looked like someone I knew, but I couldn't pinpoint where I saw him exactly, maybe just old memories or something.

"Uh, Well- I don't k-"

"He'll get those two," Gee pointed to some flowers on the wall, and the man nodded.

"Where would like to place the roses?" He put on white gloves and sat me down, in what looked like a black leather reclining chair.

"This one, on his neck... and the other on hand." They both looked at me like I was something at an art gallery. The man pointed to my neck and said, "Here?"

"Yeah... don't worry Dan, it's gonna look great, sugar." He said. He must of noticed the distress in my eyes and decided to reassure me, which I was internally grateful for but, I didn't like the neck thing. For some odd reason, it bothered me whenever anyone touched my neck.

He wiped some alcohol cloths on my neck and hand, and turned on the needle. It vibrated against his hand, and placed a sticker to my neck and hand so he could trace it. I looked at where it would be and smiled, it was okay. This was okay,

And there I sat, wincing every few minutes on the chair, trying to keep my thoughts in place, but I was kind of panicking, knowing right after this, I gonna have a metal rod in my eyebrow and tummy, which made me excited but so fucking scared at the same time. This adrenaline was something I wasn't used to, but I liked it.

"Daniel, you can open your eyes now," I heard someone laugh, which I soon recognized to Gee's. I had my eyes closed for three reasons, one, calming myself down, two, he started to work on my neck, and three, the big ass light that was in my face was bothering me.

"How do you like it?" I stood up, and I looked at myself in the mirror. At first, I didn't even notice anything different, until I turned my head ever so slightly and was met with beautiful colored roses littering my neck. It's definitely something I wasn't used to, but they were really pretty against my pale complexion, the pink on my neck brought out my big brown eyes, the rose on my hand made me smile, it made me feel soft, and quiet, I could go stargazing, believe it or not, I actually felt really good.

"Piercings!" Gee screamed and my eyes widened, I had totally forgotten.

"O-Oh yeah," I sat back down in the surprisingly comfortable leather chair and leaned back, making my body tense when he moved the reclining chair a bit lower, so I was completely on my back,

"Before we start, Dud? Or Loop?"

"U-Uh, Dud."

"Any specific color?"

"Blue," I stated calmly, a state of dissociation filling me.

"Go to your happy place, Dan." Gee said and I did just that, I was in my happy place, colorful but dark, calm but hectic. I sighed deeply, wincing hard as I felt the needle go through. I felt my eyes prickle with tears, and I whimpered.

"Done." He held my stomach with a dry cloth, trying to collect the blood, I held it there, making a mental note to prepare myself for the next thing. This was all happening so fast.

"Okay, I'm gonna need you to hold very still when I do this, it's crucial. It'll be done faster than you know it, Okay?" Faster than you know it, my ass. This hurt way more than my tummy, I clenched my teeth and I gripped Gee's hand as the needle when through, again feeling the tears come out.

"All done, now if you could sign something for me and then you're all good," The guy told me, I shakily wrote down my name, curving it a bit to make it seem a bit more acceptable to be a signature.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Oh fuck off," I laughed and he pulled me out of the shop.

"Are we seriously just gonna do this all in one day? The hair and everything?"

"What have we got to lose? Who or what is stopping you?" He stopped, and I did too. I thought for a second. He does have a good point.

"There's no time for second thoughts now, sugar! Now, let's go!" He pulled me, and I laughed at him.

"Okay, another question," I said,

"Okay, what's up?"

"Are we getting the hair done professionally or home done."

"Professional is always good. I mean, I know what I'm doing but, they make the hair color last a long time, they have this weird thing they do with your hair and it like, I don't know, enhances the whole color. Speaking of which, what color are you doing again?"

"I was thinking silver, fuck the pink roots you were thinking of, that wouldn't be me."

"What about clothing? Cause, I'm definitely going to buy you some quality flower crowns."

"Don't know... "

"That means shopping is required." I groaned, this is going be a long day.