Requiem For A Dream // Phan

19; Baby came home today,

**TW**

Quote Of the Day: Chin up princess, or the crown slips

Question Of The Day: Have you ever had gotten into a fist fight with one of your closest friends?

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In the car with Phil, was not awkward at all, I thought it would be, considering how I reacted when he came, but it wasn't. He kept holding my hand the whole car drive back and Gee was giggling to himself in the backseat, watching us both. But then Frank and Gee started to kiss, and then kissing started to be making out, and then it turned into full on grinding each other. I mean, not that I was watching in the rear view mirror or anything.

"Aye aye aye! Not in my car, dudes!" They pulled away, laughing. I laughed too and Gee winked at me again.

"Oh, don't worry, he'll get his treat later," Gee smirked at Frank, and he gulped, trying to cover his bulge in his faded black jeans. I laughed and looked over to Phil,

"So, do you like it?" I asked him, not even bothering to show any emotion.

"Like what? Oh! Yeah! I freaking love it, I was thinking about getting snake bites and now you give me the confidence to do so," He smiled and I giggled again.

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By the time we got back home it was almost noon, so I had a lot of time to spare, to prepare me for this conversation about us, He clearly did not give two shits because, he kept hugging me tightly, telling me that he was so proud of me, and held me for a long while. I was genuinely okay with it, I didn't want to stop but I really had to talk about this with him,

"Okay! We will be back later on, around 8 or 9, depends on how fast he -- " Frank stopped him, blushing furiously,

"W-we'll be back," He stuttered embarrassingly, Phil and I laughed and waved in unison. I expected the air to be awkward once they left, but it felt normal, everything felt normal... almost too normal. I didn't mind, at all so I just sat down on the couch while he went to get some drinks. When I looked around, I saw how clean and quiet it seemed. Before I left, everything was thrown everywhere, random shit was thrown onto the floor, the dishes were piling and every single room had some sort of clothing in it.

"So how are you?" I stopped looking at the floor to look up and see him carrying two beers, he sat one down on the table and he sipped his slowly, I decided to pull out one of my cigarettes and light one,

"Well, I just got out of rehab, I'm really worried about my mom, and I'm scared about the conversation I'm about to start."

"What do you mean? What kind of conversation are you about to bring up?"

"Well I've been trying to avoid this as best as possible, but I have questions and I want some answers." The cigarette in my mouth dangled when I talked, I breathed it in and out, calming my nerves a bit. Something clicked, It felt so familiar like it happened before, and I knew what it was. I had turned my emotions completely off, I know it wasn't possible to completely turn your emotions off but I swear, I just felt numb . . . 

"Okay?" He looked at me knowingly, he knew where I was taking this. I had to know, 10 months not knowing why, I finally had the chance to.

"Well, I kinda just- I dunno where to start, I guess-"

"I left you because I let someone's thoughts about you get the best of me. There. I said it." He took a deep breath and I stared at him.

"What?"

"Chris, Chris Kendall. He had told me some things about you, and he 'convinced' me to break up with you."

"You're kidding . . . right?" He shook his head, and looked down ashamed, I looked at the ground in complete and utter disbelief. What were the things he said about me that was so fucking bad that he ended a seven-year relationship?

"What the fuck did he even say that made me look so bad . . . ?" I laughed, chugging the beer.

"I don't even remember, look, I don't know about you but I really fucking regret breaking up with you, you have no idea."

"You can't just drop that on me," I huffed, he stood and cleared his throat. I swear I could see his eyes glisten. That made my chest physically hurt, I breathed in and I saw him clear his throat again.

"Uh, yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I'll just uhm -- " He walked down the hall into his room. He didn't slam it, he closed it slowly, and went in without any emotion on his face.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?!" I whispered to myself, I loved him, I knew I did, and now that I know how he feels, I can have my chance.

This is gonna be a one time opportunity, I don't think I'll ever get this time back.

I stood up, putting out the cigarette, and taking a breath. I walked down the hall and stood outside the door, I was about to knock but then I decided not to. I barged in, banging the door on the wall. I saw him sitting on the bed, his arm over his eyes, and earbuds in. His music must've been really loud cause he obviously didn't hear me come in.

I walked over to him, seeing that his eyes were closed under his arm. I threw my leg over him, straddling him. That startled him because he pulled his earbuds out quickly, looking at me confusingly. I put both arms on his chest, leaning down, I stared at him. He didn't understand what I was doing, but neither did I. I just . . . went with it. And then, like nothing happened, I started to lean down slowly.

"Was it really that bad?" Our lips were centimeters apart, I felt his breath become heavy. His eyes kept flashing to my lips and my eyes, yet my eyes stayed fixated on his lips.

"I was stupid," He breathed against me, I laughed in his face, softly.

"We're all stupid sometimes . . ." He nodded slowly, and I smiled.

"I'm sorry,"

"You're sorry?" I nipped at his jawline and felt him gulp.

"Yeah, really, really sorry." I tsked at him,

"Doesn't change anything now, does it?" He looked away, his eyes saddening.

"No, it doesn't." I hummed against his neck, agreeing with him.

"But . . . I'm willing to forgive you. Because I'm a decent person, and I cannot hold grudges. But you really did hurt me." He finally made some sort of contact with me and hesitantly wrapped his arms around my waist, I moved a bit, trying to get comfortable but I accidentally ground against him a bit, I heard him whimper, and I blushed.

"S-sorry," Before I could respond, he moved my head up to meet him with his finger, I made eye contact with him before moving around a bit more, having a tiny bit of friction. This caused him to make a small sound again, making me want to do it more, just so I could hear that fucking noise.

"Dan . . . are we moving too fast?" He breathed, and I shook my head.

"Do you think so?" I asked him and he shook his head,

"Then what's up?" I asked, sitting up.

"Nothing, just asking if you wanted to go through with this . . . I know I hurt you, and I made you a wreck and lonely and I truly am sorry about that, I just wanted to know if you wanted me back?"

"Kiss me, first, will you?" He lifted my chin and pressed his lips against mine, the warmth felt new but familiar, I never wanted it to go away. I felt his lips move a bit, in an upwards motion, I moved my lips then as well, humming against him. He suddenly made a move that surprised me, he slid his tongue on my bottom lip, asking for entrance, I denied, still a bit hesitant with him and he grunted a bit. His hands moved to my lower back and landed on my ass. He squeezed tightly, making me jump into the motion, gasping for breath, giving him the opportunity to slide his tongue in.