Requiem For A Dream // Phan

16; Rage is good sometimes,

**TW**

Quote of the Day: You're taking everything for granted, when you fall, roll over and smell the roses.

Question Of the Day: What angers you the most out of anything in society?

_________________

You ever get that feeling, where everything seems so fucking hopeless, where everyone and everything just seem so useless to you. When you're so angry, you can feel it on your chest or in your stomach, you could feel it coming down on you, and you start to shake from it, and you lose the feeling of being in control. And you can feel the rage boiling on top of you.

If you know what true, pure, hateful rage feels like, you know it's absolutely exhausting afterward. Sometimes, the wrong things come out, and you completely ruin everything, I've done that once. More than once, unfortunately. I blew up on my dad one day and I said that I hated him when that was so untrue, and he cried. He fucking cried, and still to this day, 8 years later, I still apologize for it, and make sure I show him how much I love him, just so I can never see him shed a tear ever again.

You see, what I felt at this moment came and went, like a snap of fingers. I was calm, and then I just . . . wasn't. I stood in the clothing store, after I had just got my hair done, to hear two blonde bitches beside me, whispering about how gay I looked. Don't get me wrong, Gay is not something I would usually get mad at, because yes, that's my sexuality, but they made it seem like it was the worst insult they could ever come up with like the word was shunned from their vocabulary with disgust.

I swear something snapped in me, I knew Gerard had heard them as well because when I looked at him, his eyes were a shade darker and his fist was balled up a bit. Speaking of fists, I looked down to see mine clenched so tightly, I could feel blood surrounding my fingers from my nails digging in.

"Got something to say?" Gee said, and most of the ladies in the store looked at him, and then looked at the two girls we were glaring at.

"No," The girl was smug, She looked like every stereotypical white girl in a sports illustrated magazine.

"Really? Mhm . . . You're new here, aren't you? You don't usually come here?"

"No, we usually go down the block but, this was cheaper."

"Alright, so you do know that there are rules around here, right?"

"Rules? In a store? The hell is this supposed to be, we're free white American citizens. It isn't a law that we can't say our opinion." I snapped right then, I could literally feel something in my head just turn every single negative energy I've ever had, towards them.

"You know what? You're a stuck up white privileged fucking American who is rude and unaware of the world around them. It's called respect, you ignorant fucks. How the fuck can you look gay? How does that work, tell me."

"You're like a girl, Boys don't do that. And the only ones who do, are gay."

"Oh great, now we have a sexist too!" Gee yelled, and I stepped closer to them.

"What the fuck is so wrong wanting to dress how I feel? AND, how the fuck does it apply to you?! Am I hurting you in any way? No? Then suck it up and deal with it, because there are people out there like me getting beaten, and/or killed because of people like you who think it's wrong to dress in other colors that aren't assigned at birth! Do you realize how fucking stupid that is?! Honestly, if you want me to look gay, I should just buy a fucking rainbow bodysuit or something? Fuck you, and your little posse of bitches,"