Requiem For A Dream // Phan

27; What have I got to lose? Fuck it.

Phil was cautious, very cautious. He didn't know what to expect, He had no fucking idea what to expect when it came to Dan, It was almost ridiculous and exciting in the same way. He couldn't really focus on driving back to the house with Dan smiling and humming like a kid who just got the best present, ever. Phil almost smiled back, but something in him twisted and he sighed and decided to just sit and wait even though the anticipation was eating away at his mind.

Dan never really talked to him. I mean, he did, but not full serious conversations. Not ones that don't end up with both of them screaming at each other. Phil hated arguments, it drained him, his happy go lucky attitude had changed ever since the first time he broke up with Dan, not that he'd attempt to do it again -- Actually, they technically weren't together, at all. So all in all, Phil had no reason to be upset with Dan. This was his life, Phil knew that, so I guess he had to move on as well,

He couldn't keep waiting for Dan, it was breaking him deep down. No one knew that, of course. Phil has always been an expert at hiding what he was feeling, to protect him almost, like if he really showed people who he was, it would make him . . . vulnerable, in a way. He couldn't risk his reputation. He was the protector, the strong one, It was obvious that he really wasn't strong. Not strong for himself at least, he just needed to be strong for Dan.

That's all that matters to Phil at this point, Phil wants to be Dan's everything again, but he doesn't know if the two will ever get over themselves and just admit their feelings. It angered Phil that he couldn't express what he was feeling just to not feel attacked or somewhat looked down upon, He didn't want to ruin his precious reputation.

But Dan back there, Oh, he did not give a shit about Phil's rep, he was going to do this. He was going to talk to Phil and he was gonna listen. No matter how difficult the situation was to talk about, he needed to tell somebody. and the only person he wants to tell, is Phil. So He had to deal with it, Dan had hope. Hope that could probably kill, faith that seemed ridiculous, and utter happiness that was just there to stay, at least Dan hoped.

That's all he could do at this point, Hope, It was the only thing keeping Dan up. The only thing that made him wake up in the morning, he had hope that things would get better. He liked relying on that hope, but he prepared himself for the worst but expected the best. It was always something that Dan had learned.

Prepare for the Worst, But Expect the Best.

The only thing he knew to survive through life, was that one thing. But of course, he hadn't taught himself this beforehand, because he was innocent back then, knew nothing about real love, he was playing around with it, definitely a dangerous thing to do. Yet his thoughts were the utmost dangerous always.

Dan thanked himself. Dan forgave himself. And now he's just waiting for Phil to do the same. Dan has always believed things happened for a reason, and this had happened to make them both stronger, their bond was stronger than ever knowing that they both went through the worst when they were separated from each other, but all was okay now.

They had each other, that's what has mattered always.

Gee unbuckled his seat belt, and Dan's as well. He frowned, He could do it on his own, he wasn't handicapped. But Gee ignored the glare Dan shot at him and looked to Phil.

"I feel like me and Frankie should leave you two to talk, don't you think, Dan?" He shrugged, but then an idea crossed his mind.

"No!" He cleared my throat anxiously, "No you should stay, really its fine." Dan couldn't be alone with him just yet.

"What do you mean? I think we should, for you know, privacy? Besides, we already invade your life enough." Gee had turned to Phil and patted his shoulder, almost as if Gee was telling him 'Good luck' silently. Dan scowled silently, was he that bad to handle? He felt like a girl who was psycho or something and the boyfriend was about to listen to her rant. But Dan knew that wasn't the case, so he put on a blank face and opened the car door, heading up to the apartment.

Dan stumbled on a few steps, with Phil quietly giggling behind him, and even though Dan wanted to hit him for laughing at him, he still liked to see some type of emotion on Phil. But the last step had just gotten to him and he slipped, flailing a little, landing on his side. That's when Phil couldn't hold his laughter in, but before he was even done, Dan kicked him a bit, laughing as well. But it didn't go as expected cause Phil fell right on top Of Dan, laughing so hard that Dan thought he was gonna fucking cough up his lungs.

They both just died for what seemed like hours until there was countless of people on the floor telling them to shut the fuck up but they physically couldn't, they stopped laughing for a little bit and then they just stared but it didn't last two seconds before they were bursting out laughing once again. So there they lay on the steps, laughing their small little hearts out, the tension leaving the both of them completely.

"So are we eventually gonna get up or what?" Dan laughed, and Phil shrugged sarcastically,

"I don't know... I'm pretty damn comfortable, what about you?" His tongue stuck out when he smiled, that's how big his grin was. All Dan could do was look at him in awe, before leaning in, and kissing the beautiful pale man.