Requiem For A Dream // Phan

36; Only times like this, is where our sanity is on the loose.

   (If you've seen breaking bad, then this will make sense but if you haven't, no worries)

   I ran up the steps, almost falling in the process, I headed towards our door and opened it, it was filled with fire and it was sort of wet, like they tried to put it out. Were they gonna attempt to stop the fire or are they letting this building burn? I avoided the flames at all costs and tried to go into the lounge. 

   When I got there, I saw Two people on the couch, laying there completely lifeless. Well it seemed like that I guess, I grabbed Kellin's shoulders and tried to shake him awake but he groaned and tried to say something, but it was nothing but incoherent mumbles, same with Vic. I tried hitting them, but nothing happened. I was confused, but then it clicked. They were high. I saw the belt on Vic's lap and the spoon and needle sitting next to him. Jesus christ! In my own house!? 

   I tried to pick them up but they were too heavy, I couldn't carry two people, and they didn't seem like they were getting up anytime soon, that's when I panicked, I smelt the fire from outside of the door, and knew, that I wasn't getting out anytime soon, I could feel the heat come radiating into the room. I started to cry then, I couldn't help them, even if I truly tried, I would get hurt in the process. I looked out the window and saw Phil's car, and some ambulance, 

"Hey! Get the fuck up here!" I screamed to the firefighter, and their eyes had widened and a few people ran into the building. I looked back at the door and it was catching flames, faster than I thought, I looked to Kellin and Vic on the couch and I sobbed, they weren't gonna make it. This is their fault, if they didn't get high in here, maybe they'd be alive. I shook my head, I couldn't think like this right now, I had to get out. 

   All of a sudden, Vic started to choke and vomit, he was laying on his back, and I could move him but I just stood there, he was choking on his own vomit. . . and he was too high to get up. I looked at him in pure shock, I suddenly snapped out of it and turned him on his side, letting him release everything. Then the door was busted down and two firefighters came in, the fire was decreasing around them but it was still there.

"Get some paramedics up here! Before the whole place blows!" One of them yelled, the other pulled me with him and ran down the steps, I was breathing extremely heavy and I was stumbling a little, I could feel my heart pound in my ears and I felt like I would pass out but I quickly regained posture and swallowed hard. 

   He ran me to the paramedic truck, and they sat me down, checking if I was alright. I was panicking though, where was Kellin and Vic? Had they made it? Did the firefighter just give up, like I did? I flinched when they tried cleaning my face, the smoke stuck on it still. I heard footsteps behind the truck and then I saw everybody come towards me frantically, Phil grabbed my face and kissed me hard, even though he looked like he was ready to punch me. 

"What the hell were you thinking?!" He yelled, hugging me tightly, behind his shoulder I saw the firefighter come out with Kellin, and Vic, he had both of them on his shoulders. I gasped and moved Phil out of the way, he then looked where I had and gasped as well. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. 

"I could've killed Vic. . . " I said suddenly, Phil looked confused.

"The fire wasn't your fault, it was a gas-" 

"No, they were both high, and . . . Vic started throwing up and he couldn't sit up, he was basically choking on his own vomit, and I stood there for a couple of seconds before actually moving him to his side, I almost killed him." I started to cry harder and Phil's face contorted into what looked like sympathy.

"No, you saved his life." He told me, I shook my head

"I wanted to leave him there. . . he was either gonna die right there or in the near future, they're both so fucked up." I said, and I swallowed a sob but it kind of made its way back in my throat and I almost choked. Phil held me though, everything wasn't how it was supposed to be, nothing was right anymore. 

   I saw VIc and Kellin in the same paramedic truck and I sighed shakily, they needed help. They didn't want it though, how would I help them? Would I tell them how they both could've died today? Would that finally make them snap out of their own stupid world and into reality? I bet it would scare the both of them, but they wouldn't get better, they'd just have more caution, they would never get better.

   I had hope in myself, and in Gee, but they just. . . they were going down a dark path and I'm just tired. Tired of everything that has happened in the past two months, tired of everything piling on. I felt like I would collapse any second now, I felt dizzy and could barely hear what the lady was telling me, but I just kept staring at the other truck, watching it drive away. Would I even visit him? Would I be able to visit him? 

   I felt like shit, my insides were crumbling, and my head was spinning. Brendon, Vic, and Kellin just got admitted to the hospital. Gee and frankie were having relationship problems, I'm engaged with no house, or clothes, and our money had practically gone down the drain from me and my drug problem. I sighed though, and Phil kept me close. He was going through the same things as me, I made it clear that I needed comfort and he basically picked me up and set me in his lap. 

   I sat there and he held me against his chest tightly, almost like he was afraid that I would crumble and just then, I really needed the comfort and peace, I could hear sweet melodies in my ear as we pulled off, I saw Ryan sitting next to Phil with scared, dark eyes. Where were we gonna go? I had no where to live. No where to keep me up, 

   My heart started to pick up, and I just put my face into Phil's chest as the dizzy feeling came back, this time it wasn't there for only a minute, it was only getting stronger and I gasped, I couldn't see anything now, as black spots filled my vision, I tried to sit up but then I passed out cold, but I still heard the music in my ears.