If Downton Abbey had Cellphones

Family Dinner

Cora: I'm so glad you're home darling! 😃

Elizabeth: Don't get too used to it, I'm not staying for long.

Isobel: Well, you're here, and that's all that matters.

Edith: Here, here.

Violet: How's life at the palace?

Robert: Mama!

Violet: What? If she's going to be spending all her time there, I at least want to know they're treating her well.

Elizabeth: Life's going well. 

Violet: That's good. Is the Queen being annoying?

Robert: Of course she is, it's the queen.

Elizabeth: I remember part of the deal being not to badmouth my parents.

Robert: Sorry.

Tom: How's David?

Elizabeth: He's alright. Still upset that he wasn't the one to inherit.

Robert: Something we both agree on.

Elizabeth: Why don't we change the subject? How are the kids?

Mary: Missing their auntie.

Henry: Leave her alone.

Bertie: But it is true. Marigold does ask for you.

Elizabeth: Well they do have my number.

Tom: Except I've confiscated Sybbie's phone because she kept pranking everyone.

Isobel: Seems she's taking after her aunt.

Elizabeth: 😇

Robert: What was that noise?

Elizabeth: Sorry, text from David. Give me a moment.

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Elizabeth: Saviour!

David: What's wrong?

Elizabeth: This dinner is a complete disaster! 

David: Why?

Elizabeth: Well, it started with Robert badmouthing our parents.

David: Again? Why can't he badmouth old Lady Grantham?

Elizabeth: Don't test your luck.

David: Sorry. Then what?

Elizabeth: Then we started a totally fake conversation about the kids.

David: Want to get out of there?

Elizabeth: Definitely.

David: Give me a few minutes. I'm out at the moment.

Elizabeth: I love you.

David: Love you too.

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Robert: What did he want?

Elizabeth: Just checking in on me.

Isobel: Isn't that kind of him?

Robert: It's insulting.

Cora: How so?

Robert: He believes he needs to make sure his sister is alright while she's having a family dinner! I'm disgusted! 🤢

Edith: It's only to show that he cares.

Robert: The nerve!

Elizabeth: Leave him alone! He's my brother and the Duke of York! 😡

Robert: 🙄He only cares about you to annoy me.

Elizabeth: What?? How dare you!

Robert: It's true. Deep down, you know it.

Cora: Robert, stop talking.

Carson: Your highness, the Duke of York just rang. 📞

Robert: We're busy.

Elizabeth: What is it?

Carson: Apparently there's been an emergency in London. You need to return immediately.

Elizabeth: Of course, have the car brought round.

Tom: No need, I'll drive you.

Elizabeth: Thanks Tom. Goodbye.

Robert: He's only doing this to annoy me!

Elizabeth has left the conversation 

Tom has left the conversation

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Tom: Answer me honestly, did you know David was going to call?

Elizabeth: No comment.

Tom: I don't blame you. I'd do the same.

Elizabeth: I don't like having to leave. Robert's just impossible to deal with.

Tom: I know it's been hard for you, but it's been hard for him to. 

Elizabeth: Yet he's taking everything so much worse!

Tom: Well, it might be because everything is being done on your terms.

Elizabeth: His terms are ridiculous!

Tom: Just, maybe try and meet him halfway. 

Elizabeth: Thank you for the ride.

Elizabeth has left the conversation

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Elizabeth: I'm on the train.

David: You managed to escape?

Elizabeth: Well, you did call and fake an emergency.

David: What? I was about to, but I've just got back from a meeting.

Elizabeth: Well someone called as you.

David: Good for them?

Elizabeth: I suppose.

David: Any ideas who it was?

Elizabeth: Actually, yes. See you soon.

Elizabeth has removed David from the conversation

Elizabeth has added Thomas to the conversation

Thomas: On the train, I assume? 😏

Elizabeth: How did you get away with that? Wouldn't Carson have recognized your voice?

Thomas: Special app. Managed to find a recording of his grace's voice and changed the words.

Elizabeth: Thank you Thomas. 😂

Thomas: Anytime.

Elizabeth: I don't know how I'll ever repay you. 

Thomas: Your friendship is enough.

Elizabeth: See you soon.

Thomas: I'll send the guards to meet you at the station.

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