About Stone Bees [a Marble Hornets Fan Book]

Hoodie fan fics and 5 things wrong with them

Things that are wrong with Hoodie fan fictions.

1. "We were running through the woods, our masks hiding our faces"

That's pretty much.. Unlikely.
Hoodie's mask is actually a black shirt. Now just imagine running around the woods with a black shirt on your face, maybe at night.

That's pretty difficult to do.

Also, the directors themselves said that the actors of Hoodie (he was barely played by Brian; most of the time it was either Troy (Jay), Joseph (Alex) and I think sometimes even Tim) often walked into something because they couldn't see a thing.

2. "T-The a-a-aut-autor nev-never watch-ed M-M-M-Marble Horne-ts, t-t-t-tha-at's why I'm st-stuttering i-in thi-this st-st-story. Also it makes me be kawaii and innocent and it's a fetish of Masky-sama."

Uhm.. Tbh, I'm not 100% sure about this, since, well, everybody is different, but I know a lot of shy people. And no matter how shy any of them are, nobody stutters. At least not that mu- wait, no, wait. Nobody's stuttering like that.

So who got the idea of it? I mean, The Hooded Bastard isn't even saying a single word!

3. "MASKY! HELP ME! PLEASE! *cries*", "Hoodie? HOODIE! What's wrong?!", "I'M SCARED!! >-<
... It's so dark.."

Okay. Besides the fact that Hoodie is not a proxy, that's still something that bothers me. I mean, why is he always such a pathetic weakling? Isn't he "supposed" to be Slender's proxy?
Well, yes, being afraid of the fucking darkness is a perfect requirement to be a God damn killer!

"Shit, how did they catch me?! I mean, I was only killing somebody at day time while everybody is awake and might have seen me or heard my victim scream only because I am afraid of the dark!"

Do I have to say anything more?

4. "A boy in Converse, a skinny jeans and a hoodie stood in front of me."

Oh God, no. Please, just stop.
As if a killer would be wearing that.
Converse - okay, maybe. They might be better than combat boots (my love) if you often have to run, be rather quiet, etc, but skinny jeans? Bitch, you can barely move in that shit! Also, you need your damn blood in your legs if you want to run, so wearing pants that are cutting off your blood circulation isn't exactly the best idea, y'know.

5. "10 am, me and Masky were having an orgasm because we were sucking on our cheesecake again."

First of all: If he's eating that much cheesecake, why is he still so skinny! (nope, me not jealous!)
Second: Why didn't he already die because of Diabetes?!
Third: Who buys all the cheesecake? Cuz I bet it's pretty expensive to buy that much.
Fourth: Wasn't the joke meant to be directed towards Tim? Not that I'm supporting that bullshit, BUT WHO STARTED THIS FUCKING JOKE ON THE MOST PERFECT MAN?! CUZ I WANNA TALK TO YOU, MY DEAR.
Y'KNOW, A LONG, LONG TALK.