He nods and sets his letter on the dining table. He wipes his eyes and stands up. "It was nice", he says while walking into the kitchen.
I follow him and watch him look out the window. "Are you okay?"
"Mhmm", he nods. I could tell he was holding in the tears.
"It's okay to cry", I say while hugging him. He bursts out crying and holds me tight.
I had to be the strong one now. Grayson wasn't a pretty crier, but it didn't matter. He had every right to cry.
His crying was just making me weak and miserable.
"I wish I would've done something", he sobs. "There was nothing you could do".
He pulls back and grabs me by the shoulders. "He killed himself because of you", he had pain written on his face.
"I know", tears fall.
"I should've stopped everything. I shouldn't have left you, I should've fought harder, I-"
"Gray, stop. There was nothing you could've done. Look at us now. We're fine", I say.
"I can't live with out him", he paces around the kitchen. I know he's about to have an anxiety attack.
"Gray", I grab him by the shoulders and watch him gasp for air. I make him sit down. I gesture him to breathe in and out, which he does.
"Gray, look at me", I say grabbing him by the cheeks.
He looked down and refused to look up. "Grayson, look at me", I say firmly.
He stops crying and looks up at me. It irritated him when I talked firmly and called him by his first name at times.
"You have to move on. Remember what you told me last night? Practice what you preach", I say.
He stares into my eyes, listening to every word I said. "I'm here for you. I'm not leaving, ever", I add.
I slowly move my face closer and kiss his lips. "Anna", he says in a breathy way.
I pull away and gesture him to keep speaking.
He places his hands on the back of my head and pulls me in to kiss him.
---
Days later...
I lied on my stomach and breathed calmly.
"Mommy", Bella says while walking into my room.
She comes to the side of my bed and stares at me. I was laying on the left side of my face. "Hi sweetie", I say caressing her hair.
"When are we going?" Referring to the funeral.
"In a little bit", I say.
---
The funeral was a blur. I didn't cry because of how I've been crying lately.
Now it was ending. Everyone greeted each other and went up to Ethan's coffin to say their goodbyes.
I looked down at Ethan. So perfect like always. He look amazing. Not a single flaw lied upon him.
"Can I see?" Bella asks.
I chuckle because of how short she was. I lift her up and she looks down. She waves at him.
"Hi Ethan", she says.
