Cheater (Complete)

Chapter Fifty-Eight: Darkness, My Old Friend

*NOT A MEMORY! THIS IS PART OF THE ENDING!

Rosie's POV

Ugh. I forgot to close the stupid curtains.

I groaned as I sat up, squinting at the sun glaring through my open window. I had been excited about falling asleep to pouring moonlight in my room but this? The stupid sun in the morning wasn't worth it. I had almost forgotten how much I hated being woken up like this. Normally, my days started before the sun was up.

It was just so much fun being unemployed... well, I was in the process of getting a job. It was kinda hard because I didn't want to apply to any big firms. Been there, done that. I only applied to smaller ones. Not that it mattered because no matter where I went, I was always rejected.

It was surprising how far Dean's grubby little fingers reached when he was trying to get me blacklisted.

Yeah, I guess he didn't exactly take it well when I left. Love was one hell of an emotion. And I already knew that Dean had an addictive personality. I wondered what bottle he found himself in after he ruined my career.

Either way, I was beyond it. I had forgiven and forgotten. After all, I was the one who snuck out without a word or a trail. Right after the trial that I'm sure he thought would resolve our problems in that relationship.

There were so many problems with him. His inability to accept me as I currently was... well, that was a big deal breaker for me. I liked to think I wasn't the person I used to be but admittedly... I was hardly better.

At least now I knew self-defense. There was that.

It was hard, compromising what I had done to myself. Essentially, I had left Dean a broken man. After all, he was never quite okay when he left me that first time. To fend for myself. With only a check for my law school tuition as an apology.

I at least had Sam during those days to stitch my heart together. Dean only had a handful of whores and a bottle.

Before we reconnected, I wasn't sure which method for healing a broken heart was better. Then again, I doubted his heart in those days. Dean was just... so complicated. I hated how thoroughly he held my heart.

Even now... I was glad that all my days passed with nary a sign they were gone. I couldn't tell one hour from another. My heart was dead. I was just hoping that eventually, I could pull myself together.

There's only so much you can drink before your brain starts showing the damage. I was severely unlucky that my natural tolerance kept me from passing on all my woes. I wanted a large bottle and some ice cream and goddamn, those things weren't cheap!

Well, not the good stuff.

Love really was one hell of an emotion. That ache... does it ever fucking fade?

My fingers idly inched across my bed as if I expected someone to be there. It had been a long time since I had slept alone. Truly alone. With no one else near. It was so lonely, I couldn't help but be scared. And okay, I cried into my pillows sometimes.

This was the better option though. What was I supposed to do? Stay with a man who would never just settle for what I gave him or stay with the man who ruined my life?

Yeah, I guess I was a little bitter about that. Jesus, mention murdering your client once to your boyfriend and suddenly you're crazy and unfit for the job! Honestly! He thought I wasn't able to handle it because I doubted our system too much, I was getting depressed with helplessness. I still believed in the justice system. I had to. I'd lose my mind otherwise.