A Criminal Minds x Reader (EDITING-IN-PROCESS)

Chapter Fifty

"But did you love him?" You sat face to face to Strauss.
"Are you- I- I had kids with him, Erin. Of course there was some sort of connection, but things escalated," You told her.
"Kids? I only thought you had Julia with Nazar," Strauss was completely off her guard.
"A boy, Grayson. He-"
"Do I even want to know what happened to him?" Strauss interrupted you.
You shook your head as you look down at the table.
"That's why," Aaron closed the door behind him as he handed you a cup of coffee.
"That's why you go visit the cemetery everyday," Hotch said as he stood next to Strauss.
"I'm rather tired. Could we continue this tomorrow?" You change the topic as you slide the coffee away from you.
"We're going to have to talk before you will be back out on the field, Agents. Six months," Strauss reminded you as she got up. You give her a small salute.
"I'll be back to check on you later, YN," Hotch called over his shoulder. You nodded as you watched the two walk of the room. You glanced at the walker that was next to you. Giving a small hmph, you slowly got up, using the walker as support.
"One step at a time," you reminded yourself. The pain you could bear, it was the thought of not being able to walk correctly that got to you the most.
"Dammit," you mumbled as you managed to get back into your bed.
You shook your head slightly as you recalled the conversation that Strauss and Hotch wanted to have with you. They want to know everything, every little detail of who you are and what you're past was. They swore that it would help catch Nazar. Of course, you knew that catching him would be impossible, unless if either you or Julia would be the bait.
"Strauss wants to come back tomorrow afternoon," you slightly jump at the sound of  Spencer's voice.
"Of course she does," you mumble as Spencer closed the door behind him.
"You had a son," Spencer finally spat out.
"Let me guess, Hotch told you," You say as you roll your eyes.
"You shouldn't let it be a secret. It's not healthy. Whatever happened, it can't be fixed, YN. I'm sorry but-"
"You're sorry? Sorry for what? Demanding that my past should be something to know about? I watched him die, Spencer. He was in arms, dying. I could have saved him but it was too late. Grayson's dead because of me and now Julia could be in danger for all I know. I'm not a mother, I shouldn't be one! I'm too young and-" You threw your hands in the air, giving up on what you were saying.
"Alright, alright. It takes time. I may not understand what you've been through, but I'm here for you, YN. I always will be and so will the team. You should at least know that," Spencer said, his voice steadily getting louder.
You were a complete mess and you were destroying every one around you.
"I had a brother?" Julia came out of the spot where she was hiding, her eyes wide.
"Julia..." Your eyes were full of concern as you thought about all the things you had just spilled out in front of your daughter.