Something Spectacular

Spectacular: Thirty Four

34.

The week after we finally found Gavin in Pangasinan was a heavy study week. Dahil ilang linggo lamang matapos ng unang araw ng klase ay ang quarterly exams.

I couldn't concentrate. I was preoccupied. I was thinking of Gavin. What is he doing? Who is he with? Is he waiting for us the same way we're waiting for weekend to arrive?

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't go through another day in an enclosed place, doing things that doesn't mean anything to me, when every tick of the clock is supposed to be spend with him.

Habang nakaupo sa gitna ng klase, hindi ko mapigilang itanong sa sarili ko kung para saan nga ba ang lahat ng ito. I've wasted so much time in here, preparing for the long run. But if I happen to have no tomorrow did I really live? What am I preparing for?

Huwebes ng umaga noong ma pagdesisyunan kong lumiban sa aking mga klase. I just couldn't do it knowing that Gavin is waiting for us. Binaba ako ng driver sa tapat ng university gate. Pero sa halip na pumasok, hinintay kong makaalis ang sasakyan bago ako pumara ng jeep pa punta sa bus terminal.

I was wearing my college uniform. I was skipping class. But I didn't care. Traffic ang daan papunta sa bus terminal. I was searching on my phone for ways to go to Pangasinan. Hindi ako madalas mag commute. But I could easily take direction so I was hoping hindi ako maliligaw.

Pagdating ko sa terminal naghanap agad ako ng bus na papuntang norte. I saw one with a Dagupan sign, exactly what I needed. Sumakay ako dito at naghintay. Nakaupo ako sa bandang likuran. Sinalpak ko ang headset sa aking tenga. In the six months I'm with Arcadian almost all of my songs was influenced by them, specially Gavin.

Nagsimula ang byahe. Most of the time I was staring outside the window. It was almost a three-hour ride. Hindi ko namalayan nakaidlip ako. Naalimpungatan ako ng ilang beses sa byahe. A few hours later I was finally on the city proper of Dagupan.

Huminto ang bus na sinasakyan ko sa bus terminal. Kinailangan ko ng bumaba. Mula doon ay hindi ko na sigurado kung saan pupunta. Nagtanong ako sa mga tindahan at tricycle drivers. One thing Arcadian taught me is the power of asking, and advantages of being street smart. A few months ago I won't even dare go outside of Pampanga alone. But I'm here, way up north, alone.

Dalawang sakay ng jeep ang ginawa ko upang makarating sa compound ng hospital kung saan naka confine si Gavin. Noong makababa ako, tinitigan ko ang harapan ng hospital. I smiled despite the hassle and exhaustion of traveling 87 miles away to see him.

Nakilala ako nang ilan sa mga taong nasalubong ko noong pumasok ako. Natigilan ang head nurse nang makita ako. Inalis niya ang tingin sa clip board na hawak.

"Isabelle, ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?" Pinagmasdan niya ang suot kong uniform. Gray pleated skirt and white blouse. "Hindi ka pumasok?"

Ngumiti ako. "Nandito po ako para bisitahin si Gavin."

Namuo ang pangamba sa kanyang mukha. "Si Gavin... hindi siya pwedeng bisitahin sa mga oras na ito."

"Po?"

"He's... under treatment."

Hindi agad ako nakapag salita.

"Nasa kanyang kwarto siya ngayon. His treatment is on going."

"Maaari ko ba siyang makita?"

The head nurse gave me a half hearted nod. "Kung yon ang gusto mo, hija."

Sumunod ako papunta sa kwarto ni Gavin. Tahimik ang hospital ngayon weekday. I stood out with my school uniform. Tumigil kami sa tapat ng kwarto. Mula sa salaming bintana nakita ko si Gavin.