Phan One Shots

I should have known...

"Dan," I called through the apartment, placing today's shopping onto the kitchen side. "Dan?"

I began to wander around the apartment, searching for Dan. Where was he?

"No, I'm not going to tell him yet. Of course not," Dan's hushed voice came from his room. I lean against the wall beside his door. What is he not going to tell me? "So everything is set up?" There was a pause before he sighed, "Well hurry up I don't know how much longer I can lie to him."

My heart froze, what was he talking about? What was he lying about to me? My mind began to jump to many idiotic conclusions: he's a spy, he's a drug addict, he's dying. Or - he's cheating. I didn't think he would ever do that to me.

"Nah, he's not here. No you can't come over, he'll be back soon!" Dan huffed and he was now pacing around his bed. He did that whenever he was stressed or anxious. "Please, let me tell him. I promise I will. Just not today."

He couldn't be could he? He can't be cheating. Is it me, am I the issue? I'm not enough for him, clearly.

"Okay, I love you too."

Then my heart shattered. That one phrase confirmed it. Dan was cheating on me. Dan Howell - everyone's sweetheart - was actually cheating on me. He promised - we promised - to never cheat, that we could trust each other. I didn't think he could be capable of this; he wouldn't, he loves me. Well loved.

At the sound of his footsteps, I ran to the front door, slammed it and put all of my effort into putting on a fake cheery voice, "Dan, I'm home!"

"Hey, how was it?" he asks, a small smile on his lips. "Was it hectic?"

I smile, "No it was okay actually. I bumped into Chris."

"Oh how is he?"

"He's good. Him and Pj are better than ever," I begin to place the food items out upon the side. "I told you they would be a great couple." I gulp, "Like us."

His eyes dart to the floor, as he stutters, "Y-yeah. Like u-us."

I frown, the anger within me bubbling, "You okay there, Daniel."

His head darts up at my change in tone and the fact that I used his full name. He knows full well that I only use that when I'm annoyed,"Y-yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, you seem jumpy. Something happened?" I crook a questioning eyebrow and carry on placing the milk in the fridge. "Something you want or need to tell me? Something I deserve to know?"

Dan frowned, completely confused by my sudden questioning, "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Dan!" I finally break. "I know you're cheating on me"

Dan's eyes widen in shock, "W-what? Why do y-you think t-that?"

"I heard you on the phone, Dan."

"So now you're eavesdropping on my conversations?" he says bitterly.

I laugh ironically, "You have no right to patronise me when you're cheating on me."

"Now you're jumping to conclusions."

"Oh am I?" I raise my eyebrows. "No, I'm not going to tell him yet. I don't know how much longer I can lie to him. Love you too!" I quote, my voice raising at each word.

Tears fill his eyes and I just want to wrap my arms around his frail looking figure, "I-it's not what it sounded like."

"Oh, really. So what was it?" I question, angrily.

"I can't tell you," he sighs, placing his fingers over the bridge of his nose. "Not yet."

"Not yet!" I yell, my hands raising in the air automatically. "Not yet! I deserve to know if you're cheating on me Dan!"

"I'm not."

"Yeah, well that's how it seems," I say frustratedly. I deserve to know! "Just tell me, Dan. Who is it? Chrissie? Annabelle? Frank? Who is it? I want to know. I deserve to know. How could you do this to me, I thought you loved me? We were great, weren't we. I just -"

"I'm dying, Phil!" his voice cracks and the tears are now spilling down his cheeks. "I'm fucking dying, okay!"

My heart drops and the anger within me instantly diffuses, "W-what?"

"I've got a few months to live and I didn't know how to tell you, because I didn't want our last days to be you worrying about me and treating me like an invalid," he sobs between his words, sniffing every now and again.

Now that I study his appearance his figure is extremely thin - thinner than usual - his eyes are no longer their bright colour and hold a dull gaze and his skin is incredibly pale. How didn't I notice?

My voice cracks, "Dan." I step towards him, but he backs away.

"No, stay away from me. You thought I would be capable of something like that!" he backs away slowly, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You thought I could cheat on you, Phil? I love you so much and I tell you everyday, so how could you think that?"

"I- I don't know. My mind just jumped to conclusions. I heard you say love you too and I just assumed. I honestly didn't think you could but you said love you and my heart broke," I sobbed. Tears were now streaming down my cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Dan."

He falls against the wall, his legs beginning to shake, as if he they could no longer uphold his skinny figure. I lung towards him just as he is about to fall to the floor and catch him in my arms. His silent tears, become violent sobs and he grips onto my sweater tightly, trying to hit against my chest, but he's too weak. I let us drop to the floor and he buries his head further into the crook of my neck.

I stroke my fingers through his brown locks, a few floating to the floor and my heart shatters all over again. My Dan has been suffering and I didn't even notice. I assume he's cheating, but he's actually dying. What kind of boyfriend am I?

"How long?" I croak out.

He leans away, his eyes now completely bloodshot, "T-three m-months. Maybe more, but most probably not."

I pull him back into my chest and kiss the top of his head lovingly, "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugs and snuggles into my embrace. His sobbing coming to a stop and his breathing evens out; I then realise that he's fallen asleep. He must be exhausted.

I stand up off of the floor with Dan in my arms and walk into my bedroom, laying him down on the mattress before slipping off his jeans and shirt, knowing he hates to sleep in clothes. This is when I notice just how skinny he has become. His ribs are starting to show and his legs look like twigs. A stray tear slips down my cheek, while I slip in beside him, pulling the duvet over the two of us and I wrap my arms around my loving boyfriend. My head rests on his and I kiss his head, before shutting my eyes with only one thought going through my mind.

Why didn't I notice?

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A/N: Okay, I am so thankful for over 300 reads! It means a lot and I am sorry that my recent one shots have been quite depressing, I guess I'm not in the greatest of places at the moment. School is extremely stressful and yeah. But I promise the next few will be happier, as I don't like being sad all the time.

Thanks for reading! :P