Phan One Shots

How Could You Pt 2

A/N: Okay, so if you don't remember the first part to this you can either go back and read it or I'll write a summary which you can read below.

Summary: So Dan found out that Phil was cheating with this guy called Greg. Dan confronts Phil, they argue and Dan ends up having a panic attack. Phil helps him, but soon after, Dan tells Phil to leave.

That was what happened last time, so I hope you enjoy part 2!
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Part 2

Dan's POV

My hands trembled uncontrollably, in complete contrast to my still lips and steady breath which had evened out as soon as Phil left through the front door. As he left my heart plummeted and my mind began to spiral to the dreaded thoughts of Phil with another guy. A guy other than me. A guy who gave phil what he needed, but that should have been me.

It's all my fault.

It's my fault Phil had to go find someone else. I was boring. Uninspiring. Needy. I was everything Phil didn't need. I was a poisoned thorn in his flesh that he couldn't pull out; my poison flooded through his veins, consuming him into the dark abyss which was my life. The darkness suffocated him, wrapping around his throat and tightening every time I cried, or had a bad dream or when he met my mother.

I should have protected him that day. She's my mum, so I should have been the one to step in front to protect him from the ear splitting crash of a vase against a skull. I should have been the one to fall the the floor, blood seeping from my head, my eyes closing slowly and I should have been the one to nearly lose their life that night, but it wasn't. It wasn't me and it should have been.

I remember incoherent screams of hatred leaving my lips and rolling towards my drunk mother, but nothing went in. She didn't care. Of course she didn't; she didn't care about her own son, let alone a random kid from next door. She stumbled out of the room, as I fell to my knees beside an unconscious Phil and I let my hands tremble up towards his fringe which was feathered across his eyes. I moved the hair aside, as I brought his head to my lap and shakily cradled him in my arms; I tried to think of what Phil would have done had it been the other way around, so I managed to reach across for my phone, which Phil had brought for me and I shakily pressed in 999 before placing the phone to my ear.

Phil had loved me once.

The first time he had told me he loved me, we were in his room playing Mario kart. I had beaten him - again - so I was dancing around his room, teasing him for being so crap. My hands were swinging in the air and Phil just sat against his bed smirking at me. However, me being me, tripped on his rug, which sent me flying forwards and on top of Phil; my flushed face was inches from his and a small smile grew on his lips, as he moved part of my fringe aside, whispering a sweet, "I love you."

I don't even know how to describe how I felt when those three words left his lips, but what I do know is that I freaked out completely and ended up fleeing out of the window after throwing fake insults at him. I didn't believe him. Every other time I had been told that, they had been fake, so I had no reason to believe that I could be loved. Part of me also didn't want to drag phil down with me. I didn't want to ruin his life, as i spiralled down into an inevitable doom.

I'd always planned on pushing Phil away to get him away from my suffocating life, but I needed him too much despite what I kept telling myself.

In all honesty, I need him right now.

Third Person

Phil hated himself.

He had never hated himself as much as this.

Never had he hurt someone as much as he had hurt Dan.