[ forty eight ] why she had to go
Ashton got out of bed bright and early the next morning. They had the whole afternoon to talk with his mates, and with Luke and Calum on his side, Ashton was able to convince Michael that Prudence was safe with him. Michael still wasn't sure that it was such a good ides for them to be living together, he was reluctant and thought Prudence was lying to protect Ashton. In the end he let the subject drop, but warned his band mate that he would be keeping a close eye on him.
They arrived at Mrs. Carrigan's house where Prudence had spent the night and rang the doorbell. Ashton felt his heart drop when he heard sobbing from the other side of the door. And his fears were greater when Mrs. Carrigan came to the door and she was crying.
"Hello Ashton," Mrs. Carrigan sniffed, wiping the stream of tears from her eyes.
From the livingroom, they could hear Lucy crying. Calum and Luke suspected what was happening and soon their own eyes were teary and watery.
"I'm here to pick up Prudence." Ashton said hesitantly.
"Oh Ashton," Mrs. Carrigan broke out into sobs once more. Now Ashton was very worried, especially because he didn't see his wife anywhere. "Prudence...passed away in her sleep last night." Her voice cracked unsteadily as she spoke, and every word that left her lips was pained.
Ashton's hazel eyes glazed over with tears. He shook his head frantically, "No, no. This isn't happening. This is s nightmare. I must be asleep." He closed his eyes tightly.
Mrs. Carrigan took a step towards him and placed her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to console him. Then she proceeded to explain everything. "She was very sick. She had leukemia."
"Why didn't she tell me anything?" Ashton cried into his hands. "We could have gone to the best doctors in the country. We could have brought in experts. I would have done anything to see her healthy again."
"There was nothing more to do." Mrs. Carrigan assured him.
"I still had a right to know." Ashton insisted.
"She didn't want you to feel pity for her." Calum said to his friend. "She wanted you to love her for who she was, not to be with her because you felt sorry for her."
"She told me she was afraid you'd leave her if you knew." Luke added.
"What the fuck, Luke?" Michael hissed, his eyes full of tears that were threatening to escape.
Ashton turned towards his friends with a glare. In his anger, he grabbed a fistful of Calum's shirt and shook him violently. Calum did nothing to stop Ashton. He understood the pain his best friend was going through. "You knew she was sick, and you didn't tell me?" Luke was the one who had to pull Ashton away from Luke. "Let go of me, traitor!" Ashton cried. "You two call yourselves my friends but you kept this from me." He was able to wrench himself out of Luke's hold and he fell to the ground on his knees, crying.
"We're really sorry." Calum spoke.
"Prudence made us promise we wouldn't say anything." Luke explained.
"I don't care." Ashton shook his head. "She's my wife. I love her. I had every right to know what was happening."
"Boys," Mrs. Carrigan said, getting their attention. From her pocket, she got out four envelopes. She handed each of them one that had their name on it. "Prudence left these for each of you, and a video for all of us. Come in so you can watch it."
Ashton quickly got up and entered the house. The three other boys followed behind him. They went into the living room where Lucy was sitting on the couch, clutching a photograph of the family. Her fingers were stroking the image of her younger sister as tears spilled from her dark brown eyes. Calum hurried to her side and she cuddled close to him, crying into his chest.
"I want my sister to come back, Calum." Lucy sobbed. Calum placed his chin on top of her head and his arms wrapped tightly around her.
Mrs. Carrigan had left the room and returned moments later with a dvd disc. She went directly to the dvd player, put the disc in, and turned on the tv before hitting the play button. Almost immediately, there was the image of Prudence on the screen. She looked healthier, it was a video from almost a month before. And she was smiling into the camera despite the pain reflected in her eyes and the tiredness in her face.
She waved into the camera before beginning to speak. "Hello boys, Lucy, and mum."
Ashton felt a lump in his throat the moment she started her greeting. He would never be seeing his love again.
"I made this video to let you all know that I'm in a better place now, so please don't cry for me." She continued. "And please don't blame God for what has happened. When every person comes into this world, they are given a mission. I have completed mine, and God just wants me back in his kingdom with him."
There was a short pause, and she proceeded to address each person in the room. "Mum and Lucy. You know how much you both mean to me, and I love you so much." As Lucy heard her sister's words, she cried harder. The same happened to Mrs. Carrigan. "I know that I will not be forgotten in your hearts and I assure you that one day we will be together again. Just have patience. Dad and I will be waiting for you with open arms."
After her short message to them, she continued with the boys. "Calum. I know you didn't like me very much when we first met. But eventually I must have grown on you because you became a good friend to me. And I appreciate the fact that you kept my secret. It must have been hard to keep something like that from your best friends."
"Michael and Luke." She sighed. "You two are some of the sweetest boys I have ever met. You're also funny, and your musical talent is amazing. I will never forget all the great times we spent together. I'm very sorry I couldn't love you the way you wanted." Her smile dropped an octave. "I know you'll find a girl that will love you unconditionally as I have loved Ashton."
When she got to Ashton, the video shifted to another scene, that seemed to have been filmed the afternoon before. In in, they could see the striking differences in her deterioration.
"My dear husband." She began, her voice sounding sad and tired. But still when she mentioned him, a smile touched her lips. "I want to apologize for keeping this from you. But I want you to understand that I was afraid. I wanted you to love me because I was me, not because I as sick. Every moment with you, ever since we met was truly happy for me. You were the only one who didn't make fun of me, who didn't reject me, and that was one of the things that made me fall in love with you the most. Please don't cry for me, and try your best to move on with your life. You're young, and you'll find someone else one day."
Ashton shook his head. He thought he could love no one after Prudence.
"I love you with all my heart." She finally said, her voice breaking. "But its time for me to go to my paradise." She ended her video for them by singing a line from one of her favorite church hymns. "Paradiso, paradiso. Preferisco il paradiso." (Paradise, paradise. I prefer paradise.) Then the screen went black.
That was when Ashton's cries continued. "She was only seventeen. Why'd she have to go so soon? Why did He have to take her from me?"
Through her tears, Lucy reminded him, "She asked us not to blame God."
"How can I not blame him?" Ashton asked bitterly. "He took everything from me, Lucy. She was my everything."
"Just think that her love was sent from God for you to borrow, and that she is now in her paradise." Lucy had never been much of a believer. But she did know that Prudence firmly believed in God and that she would go to her eternal paradise if she followed his will.
"I'm sorry she never got to witness a miracle." Ashton cried. He remembered seeing it on her list. But now, he thought Prudence meant she wanted to be cured as her miracle.
Mrs. Carrigan shook her head. "She did. You boys were her miracle."
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this is the last part of dear prudence. the next part will be the epilogue. thank you all so much for reading. it has meant so much to me. after the epilogue, i might post the blurb of my new story. i don't know if i want it to be a luke story, or a calum story. what do you all think?
blessings, clary xx
