Ballerina Boy

28

Everyday that I can, I visit Harry.

He's been doing a lot better lately.

He hasn't been having as many bad thoughts and he isn't trying to claw his skin off, so he finally doesn't have to wear his mittens anymore.

Also he isn't having cravings for drugs anymore.

I think the three months he's been in here has really helped him.

"So?" Harry asked as he sat up in his hospital bed. "When is Juilliard coming to see you dance?"

"It's at the beginning of May."

"So a month from now?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Are you nervous?"

"Yeah." I nodded again. "I'm really nervous."

"Why?"

"Why do you think Harry?"

"Well I don't know?" he shrugged. "I think you're an amazing dancer, so I don't know what you are too worried about?"

"I'm worried of messing up and not showing enough emotion."

"I think you've got it. I mean you told off a bunch of dickhead football players with your dance. So I think you can do it for those Juilliard judges with sticks up their asses."

"Yeah, I guess your right."

"I am right." he nodded with a small smile on his face.

I gently punched him in the arm and rolled my eyes playfully.

"So when are you getting out of here?" I asked leaning back to stretch.

"The doctors say in another week I should be out."

"Oh, woe. That's great Harry!"

"I know." he nodded and then looked at the clock. "Well it's time for you to go. Visiting hours are over with."

"Alright." I nodded and then got up and got all of my belongings. "I'll see you." I said and kissed his cheek but he turned fast so it only lasted a second.

I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn't tear up and then left.

I've had a lot of feelings start to form for Harry as he's been in the hospital. I mean I've been looking after him for the last two months out of the three that he's been here. And he even has been really nice to me and we've had amazing conversations between each other. Some even feel a little flirty... but I guess it's just his personality and that really makes me ill. I want him... badly.

And with those thoughts flying around in my brain, I headed home, and went to bed.

The next day I got up and went to school in a gloomy mood.

I really did not want to be here today.

All I could think about was how Harry didn't want me in the way that I want him.

Even though he has screwed me over... so many times... I can't help but have feelings for him. He gives me so much attention and I want more.

But he'll never go for me in that way.

"Louis?" I heard someone speak.

I looked up to see my dance instructor Ms. Hough.

"Yes, Ms. Hough?"

"You seemed to be off in space?"

"Oh." I sighed. "I'm fine."

"Well alright then." she nodded. "So, the Juilliard audition is in one month?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"What will you be dancing too?"

"Well that's the thing... I don't know."

"Well... is there an artist that calls out to you?"

"I've been wanting to dance to Sam Smith for a while. But I just haven't found a song that speaks to me yet."

"Well sit down and I'll play you some songs by him."

"How will I know it's the one?"

"When it gives you chills." she answered as she plugged in her iPhone.

She played tons of songs like La La La, Life Support, Latch, and I'm Not the Only One... but nothing stuck out to me.

"Alright Louis, last one." Ms. Hough said getting a tad bit annoyed.

I nodded.

The minute the song started playing I got chills.

I know this song... and I completely forgot about it.

"This one!" I said getting up going over to her in a hurry. "This song Ms. Hough."

"You've got it." she nodded with a smile. "Any reason in particular this one called out to you?"

"Just reminds me of someone." I shrugged.

"Well come to the middle of the dance floor and we will start the steps to the routine.

"Sounds good to me." I nodded and then did what I was told.

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Please like and comment! Thanks! ~Ash