Not Everything Is What It Seems (Book I)

His hugs are healing.

I cried for several minutes but now I had stopped, although I hadn’t move away from his hold.

“You feel better?” Brian asked softly, pulling me away from him so he could look at me.

“Yeah.. I think.” I replied. He cupped my face in his hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs, before smiling a little at me.

“I’m sorry for making you cry, but you really needed to release all your pain.. it was killing you.”

“I know.. and thank you for your support.” I said as I took his hands in mine.

“I hate to see you sad, so I’ll do whatever I need to make you smile. Well, except for what I did now, but I promise I won’t do it again.” I chuckled and hugged him again.

“Ohh Brian, I lov-like you so much..” I said, biting my bottom lip and wishing he didn’t notice my little mistake. He moved away from me and kissed my cheek.

“I love you too.” He smirked, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV. I felt my cheeks warming up as I blushed with his choice of words. “I’m so gonna kill that bastard.” Brian mumbled after a while. I looked at him confused.

“Who?”

“Matt..” He simply answered.

“Why?” I asked calmly.

“Because he fucking hurt you! Isn't it reason enough?" The anger in his voice poured out like a real waterfall.

“Forget it. I’m not even mad at him.” I said, looking at those now cold brown eyes.

“How can that be possible? He lied to you!” Brian shouted in disbelief.

“He didn’t lie to me, he was just confused. He never raised his voice at me, he never beat me and he never cheated on me. He was always kind and good. I have no reasons to be mad.”

“But he didn’t love you, Annie. You gave him your heart and he fucking broke it!”

“I know.. but that’s only because he was confused about his feelings.” I tried to explain, but Brian shook his head still unhappy with the situation. He didn't say anything for a moment, as if he was debating on this matter. But then he looked at me and his eyes softened, showing nothing but concern and caring.

“If he was confused he shouldn’t have kissed you in the first place.”

“But he did kiss me. Now we can’t change that and I don’t want to think about it. Let’s just forget all of this and start from the beginning.” I said, turning my attention to the TV. I could feel his gaze on me.

“You’re definitely something else..” He said, chuckling. I shrugged my shoulders but didn’t move my eyes away from where they were.

“Jimmy would have loved to meet you.” Brian said after some moments of silence. I looked at him with a small smile.

“You think?”

“No, I’m sure. You have a lot of things in common with him. You hate to be mad at people, you're funny, you're cute, you're very friendly and you always want to help.. he was pretty much like you.” He said with a sad smile.

“You’re going to make me cry again.” I chuckled as I felt my eyes welling up with tears.

“Oh I’m sorry.. but I really needed to say this.”

“It’s okay. I feel honored, actually.” He tried to smile wider, but the sadness and pain plastered all over his face was making things harder. “You really miss him, don’t you?” I asked and he slightly nodded with his head. “I know he’s very proud of you and all the other guys.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it a little, making him look up at me. He brought my hand to his thin lips and kissed its back softly.

“Thank you.” He said with a smile. It hurt so much to see him like that. I just wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. I put a little more thought on that and after a while I decided that I really should do it. So I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He seemed surprised with my actions as he hesitantly snaked his tattooed arms around my middle. It’s not that we haven’t hug before but this time I didn’t want to let him go, I wanted to comfort him like he did to me. I wanted to ease his pain, because it killed me to see those beautiful brown eyes sad.

“That felt good.” He said, chuckling as I pulled away from the hug.

“Well.. that was the idea.” I smiled, feeling the heat rushing to my cheeks again. "I don't like to see you sad."

"Do you understand my frustration now? When you are sad and I'm stading here watching you?" I smiled a little. “There’s only one think that makes you different from Jimmy.” He said.

“What?” I raised an eyebrow as curiosity filled my body.

“You’re much more beautiful than him.” He said, smirking, making me chuckle.

“Come on.. Jimmy was a very good-looking man and those blue eyes of him could kill any girl.” I smiled

“True story, but I still think you’re prettier.”

“Okay, now stop! You’ll make me blush.” He chuckled and turned his gaze to the TV. I leaned back on the couch and looked at the screen too. Brian was watching some kind of movie. I paid attention in the first 10 minutes but I was so tired that I felt myself falling asleep. My head fell several times toward Brian's shoulder, but I managed to raise it right before it would hit him.

“Oh my god.. I have to go home. I look like a zombie.” I said, rubbing my face with my hands.

“Are you crazy? You don’t go anywhere at this time of the night.” He said.

“Brian, it’s only 9.30 pm..” I said, chuckling at his drama.

“In no way I’m going to let you leave. You’re staying here tonight.” He crossed his arms to his chest to show he was being serious.

“I work tomorrow. I have to go home.”

“Told your boss that you’re sick.. I don’t want you to be alone today.” He said, looking at my still bloodshot eyes.

“Why? Tonight it’s not different from the others.”

“Yes, it is, and I know that if you go home you’ll be sad and you'll probably cry, and I won’t be there with you..”

“Brian.. You can’t be always with me. I’m 25, I had a lot of tough moments in my life and I made it through, and you wasn’t there. I’ll be okay.” I explained.

“Yeah, it’s right but if you can be with me, why would you want to be alone? It’s not that I’m going to eat you or anything..” He said, making me chuckle.

“Of course you’re not going to eat me.” I smiled, making him laugh as he realized what he had said.

“It’s not what I meant..” He told me with a small smile playing on his thin lips.

“I know, I was just messing with you.”

“So, will you stay?” He asked with those puppy dog eyes again. I rolled my eyes and groaned in frustration.

“Fine.. I don’t want to work anyway. I’m not in the mood for that and I think I deserve a break, even if it’s only for one day.” His lips opened in a big smile. I poked my tongue out at him and he chuckled.

“It’s so easy to win you over.” He smirked and I glared at him playfully.

“Oh really? Dare to say that again and my ass will run out of this house.” I said, trying to sound serious but failing completely.

“It’s so easy to win you over.” He repeated. His smirk grew wider as I stood up from the couch to run away, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back, tickling my body everywhere.

“Where do you think you're going?” He asked while I was laughing my ass out, trying to take his hands away from me to make him stop tickling.

“Nowhere! I was just going to the bathroom!” I said between laughs.

“Yeah sure…”

“Oh my god!!! Stop.. I’m gonna die!” I was laughing so much, I could barely breathe.

“Okay, okay.. I’ll stop.” He said, chuckling. I composed myself on the couch and he was staring at me with a grin on his face.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing, it’s just good to see you smiling..”

“Well.. thanks to you. I wouldn’t be smiling if you weren’t here.” I chuckled as I crossed my legs in Indian mode.

“Ohh you’re going to make me blush..” He said, pulling his hands on his face, pretending he was embarrassed. I punched his arm playfully and he laughed a little.

I leaned back on the couch, again, and Brian did the same as we both stared at the TV. My eyes started to be lazy and heavy and, once again, I felt like I was going to fall asleep in any minute.

“Will you wait here while I take a quick shower or are you going to run away?” He asked, smirking.

“Shower? Now? You’re crazy..” I said in disbelief.

“Why?” He chuckled.

“I think I would fall asleep.”

“I’m not sleepy like you, little thing..”

“Fine.. but I can’t promise you that I’ll still be awake.” I said as a yawn assaulted me.

“It’s only 5 minutes.. I’ll be right back.” And with that he stood up from the couch and ran upstairs. I took the chance and lied down on the couch with my head placed in the armrest. I forced my eyes to stay open but it was being really hard. I was so tired from the incident on the beach. When I was about to meet the dreamland the sound of some footsteps made my eyes open, and I glanced at the stairs to see one wet haired Brian. I smiled at him but I was too lazy to move from where I was.

“Ohh.. did you just steal my spot on the couch?” He asked with his hands on his hips as he approached me. I laughed a little and put myself even more comfortable.

“I can’t move. I’m too tired.” I said with a beaming smile.

“At least lift your head a little so I can sit.” I did as he said and when he was fully comfortable on the couch I placed my head on his lap.

“I hope you don’t mind..” I said with hopeful eyes as I slightly looked up at him.

“It’s okay.” I returned my attention to the TV and moments later Brian started to fondle my hair absently. It felt so good but it was only making me even sleepier. My eyes closed and the soft touch of his hand took me finally to my sleep.

“Annie.. Annie..” I heard Brian almost whisper as he stroked my cheek with his knuckles, waking me up from my sleep. I lazily opened my eyes and raised my head from his lap, siting straight in the couch. “It’s time to go to bed.” He said with a warming smile. I nodded with my head and stood up from the couch but I did it too fast because I had to sit down again. My vision was black and my head was pounding. “You okay?” He asked concerned.

“Yeah, I think I shouldn't have raised myself so quickly.” I closed my eyes to recover but then I felt two arms sliding under my body and lifting me up from the couch in bride style.

“What are you doing?” I asked as I instinctively wrapped my arms around Brian's neck to hold myself.

“Taking you to the room.” He said, walking toward the stairs.

“But I have my own legs, you didn’t need to pick me up.”

“You almost fell down there.. of course I needed to bring you up here.” He said as we reached the top of the stairs. He headed toward the guest room, which was the place where I was going to sleep, and placed me on the bed.

“Thank you..” I mumbled still upset with the fact that he didn’t let me walk.

“You’re welcome. Goodnight.” He kissed the top of my head and left the room.

“Sleep well, Brian.” I said before he closed the door.

I took off the hoodie and slide inside the sheets. I fell asleep seconds later.
Next morning I woke up with a slight light coming from the window of the room. I stood up from the bed and approached the window, pushing the brown curtains away so I could look outside. I narrowed my eyes because of the intense sunlight. I smiled to myself with the wonderful day it was and headed out of the room. The house was silent so I presumed that Brian was still sleeping.

I always had the desire of seeing how Mr. Synyster Gates would look like while he was sleeping. Bitting my bottom lip, I decided to take a look at his room. I walked on tip toes to make the less noise possible and when I arrived at his door I placed my hand on the handle. When I was about to turn it, Brian suddenly opens the door and we both screamed.

“FUCK! You scared the shit out of me!” Brian yelled, holding a hand over his heart.

“No! You scared the fuck out of me!” I yelled back, also holding a hand over my heart, which was beating like a maniac.

“Why were you here, anyway?” He asked confused with his breath still speeded up.

“Ehh..Eh.. I was.. I was just seeing if.. if you were already awake because I .. I don’t know.. just to know.” I said a little embarrassed. Obviously I was lying and unfortunately I’m a really bad liar.

“Yeah, sure.. if I was awake you would have heard some noise coming downstairs or something.” He said, placing his hands on his hips.

“Yeah.. probably.. but I wanted to make sure.” I said, rubbing the back of my head.

“Or maybe you wanted to sneak on me and luckily catching me with only a towel around my waist..” He smirked, making me laugh and at the same time blush.

“Oh my god, you are disgusting!” I said, chuckling as I rushed downstairs, leaving a laughing Brian in front of his room.

“ADMIT THAT WHAT I SAID IS TRUE!” He yelled from upstairs, making me laugh.

“SHUT UP, GATES!” I shouted from the kitchen with a big smile on my face.
Maybe he was right, maybe I would like to see him with only a towel around his waist, or even without the towel. Oh my god! What am I thinking? I blushed at my own thoughts, but shook it away as soon as Brian stepped in the kitchen. I placed two slices of bread in the toaster and then I opened the cupboard to grab a mud. When I closed it I glanced at Brian and he was seated on the chair in front of the table with a huge grin on his face.

“Oh god.. what are you thinking?” I asked with my back facing him as I poured milk in the mug.

“You still didn’t admit the truth.” I looked at him and laughed.

“There’s nothing to admit.. you are only making films in that naughty head of yours.” I returned my attention to my toasts, spreading butter in them.

“Yeah yeah.. of course.. keep lying.” He jumped out of the chair and placed two slices of bread in the toaster for him, and then he leaned against the counter right next to me while I was still preparing my breakfast.

“I’m not lying..” I chuckled, grabbing my breakfast and sitting on the table.

“You are and you know it..” Now his back was facing me and all I could do was to stare at his ass. Jesus! What’s happening with me today?

“Stop staring at my ass!” He yelled, making me choke on the toast it was in my mouth. I started to cough after that and Brian was laughing hard. He turned around and sat in the chair in front of me. How did he even know I was looking at his ass?

“You don’t need to be embarrassed, I completely understand you.” He said, smirking, making me glare at him and slapping his arm.

“Shut up.” I grumbled.

“The next time you want to sneak on my room, I’ll gladly open the door for you.”

“Will you stop? I’m trying to eat.” I said trying hard not to smile but it was difficult.

“I’ll stop.. but only when you have the guts to admit the truth.” He said as he placed a huge piece of toast on his mouth, making me roll my eyes. I was going to protest but my phone started to ring.

“Shit! I didn’t tell my boss I wasn’t going to work today..” I ran towards my phone and picked up without seeing who was calling.

“Hello.” I pretended a husky voice for my boss to believe I was really sick.

“Annie?”

“Mom? I thought it was my boss.. sorry.” I said with my normal voice. I returned to the kitchen and Brian was still eating.

”Are you working?” My mom asked.

“Ehm.. no.” I simply said.

”So where are you? Why aren’t you working?” She was confused.

“I’m.. home, I wasn’t in the mood.”

“What a liar..” Brian said, smirking, making me punch him again on the arm.

”Aren’t you alone?” She asked and I sighed.

“Yes, I’m alone mom.” I glared at Brian who started to laugh.

”So why am I hearing someone laugh?”

“It’s probably the TV.. wait.. I’ll turn it off.” I slammed Brian on the arm one more time, but now it was harder and then I left to the living room.

“Better now?” I asked mom and she replied with a simple yes. We kept talking for a while and then I hung up. I walked back to the kitchen and Brian had already finished his breakfast.

“You mad?” He asked with a smirk.

“Yes!” I said firmly as I continued to eat my now cold food.

“Sorry..” He pouted, stucking his bottom lip out.

“Don’t gimme that face! I’m not going to forgive you that easily.” I said, turning my back at him. He didn’t move or said anything and I glanced over my shoulder. He was still with that face. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Stop!”

“Only when you forgive me..” I laughed harder but didn’t look at him.

“Fine.. just stay there..” I finished my food and when I stood up from the chair to put the dishes in the washer Brian stayed in the same place.

“Are you going to be there forever?” I asked, chuckling.

“Yup..”

“I can’t believe you’re sulking..”

“I’m not.” He simply answered without looking at me.

“Are you serious?” I started to laugh and ignored him, walking towards the living room but then I felt two arms grabbing my waist and then somehow I was on Brian’s shoulder.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” I yelled.

“You know what I’m doing..” He said, chuckling as he walked towards his backyard.

“Okay!! I know what you’re doing! You can stop right there!! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!!” I screamed and he stopped.

“Only with one condition..” I sighed in desperation.

“Fine.. what do you want?”

“I want you to forgive me..”

“No way!” I yelled and he gave two steps forward toward the pool.

“Wanna think again?” I could feel him smirking although I wasn’t seeing his face.

“NO!” He approached the pool and turned around so my eyes were looking at the water and then I felt my legs sliding through his shoulder and I grabbed his waist with all the strength that I had. I was literally upside down.

“OKAAAY! STOP! I forgive you!”

“Really?” He asked.

“YES! Now, put me on the floor.” I said and when I thought that he was going to pull me on the floor he released my legs and I fell on the pool with my face hitting it first. I emerged gasping for air and then I looked around for Brian but he was nowhere to be found.

“What the fuck?” I muttered to myself. And then my vision went black because I felt two hands covering my eyes. My heart skipped a beat with the sudden touch, but I immediately understood who it was.

“Guess who?” He asked and I smiled.

“Well.. I hope it’s a shark that ate Brian.” I said as I grabbed his hands and turned myself to him. He had a puzzled look on his face, making me laugh.

“Ah. Ah. How funny..” He said sarcastically.

“It’s the second time I’m in this pool against my will!” I grumbled.

“Come on.. the water is great.” Brian said as he floated above the water like a water lily. I smirked to myself and placed myself on top of him, making him drown. He started to cough when he approached the surface and I started to laugh.

“Payback is a bitch!” I said still laughing and he swum in my direction. I tried to escape but he was faster, so he grabbed my legs and pulled me to him. I thought he was going to sinking me or something but he just held me in the water with his arms above mine so I couldn’t move. My back was against his chest.

“You’re very funny, you know?” He said playfully.

“Sometimes..” I answered, chuckling. He let me go and stepped back. I looked at him and he started to take off his shirt. I moved my eyes away from him to stop my thoughts and swum to the other edge of the pool. Maybe I should do the same. Those clothes were fucking heavy. I stripped my clothes and placed them out of the water. I was still with my bikini from the previous day so it was okay.

“Oh you did the same..” He smirked.

“Yeah.. I guess so.” I felt myself blushing, so I forced myself to sink into de water.

We stayed in the pool a little longer but I started to felt a little cold so I stepped out and sat on the edge of the pool with my legs still inside of the water and with my arms wrapped around my middle.

“You cold?” Brian asked as he approached me, standing between my legs. I nodded with my head and he forced himself up.

“You don’t need to get out..” I said.

“Of course I need. I’ll get towels for both of us. I’ll be right back.” He ran to the inside and I waited for him without moving. Somehow I started to think about Matt and my previous happiness turned into depression. I missed him already. I just wanted to be with him, I wanted us to be fine and in love. But I knew that was impossible. My thoughts were cut by the feeling of a comfy towel around me. I looked up to meet a smiley Brian but his face changed to a concerned one.

“I leave you alone for 2 minutes and your happiness runs away?” He asked but my eyes were locked with my lap.

“Come on, Annie..” I tightened my grip on the towel and sighed.

“This is hard Brian. I can’t stop thinking.. it’s just.. I still love him.”

“I know, but no one said this was going to be easy. I know you are a strong girl. You’ll get over this.” He said as he rubbed my back with his hand.

“I’m not that strong..” I stood up from the floor and headed toward the house. I felt Brian following me close.

“Yes, you are! You’re just vulnerable now.. you need time and that stuff, but you’ll be fine!” I stopped walking and felt the tears falling down my face. I didn’t want Brian to see it so I just wiped them with the towel and kept moving.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“Don’t know.. to my room, I mean the guest room.” I said not looking at him. More tears fell and I just couldn’t see anything. I don’t know what happened but I felt a huge will of crying. My back was facing Brian but he knew I was crying. He placed his towel in the couch and approached me.

“Please don’t cry.. you were so happy moments ago.” He said as he turned me so I was facing him, but I kept my head lowered. We could hear the tears hitting the ground as they fell.

“Look at me.” He raised my chin forcing me to meet his eyes.

“You’ll stop crying because I know you’re strong, and Matt doesn’t deserve those tears that are falling down your beautiful face. So,” He wiped the tears from my cheeks with both of his hands and kept talking, “you will breathe deeply and you’ll smile for me. Or I’ll attack you with tickles.. so, you know.. you make the decision.” He crossed his arms to his chest and smirked a little.

“I don’t want you to tickle me, so I’ll stop crying..” I said with a small chuckle.

“That’s much better.” He then hugged me and I wrapped my arms around his middle, burying my face on the crook of his neck. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply in Brian’s scent which was strangely comforting.

“Your hugs are healing.” I said as I moved away from him with a slight smile on my face.

“Oh.. it’s good to hear.. now I’ll always hugging you.” He said, chuckling.

“I’m fine, now.” I said with a sigh.

“No, you’re not fine… but you’ll be. And to speed things up..” He didn’t finish his sentence because he started to tickle me. We ended up by running like two kids, hunting each other and just goofing around. All I know is that, once again, Brian saved my mood and all my sadness was forgotten.