Not Everything Is What It Seems (Book I)

Healing process

“Annie, please.. don’t run away from me..” He begged, still following me. I knew that he could easily catch me if he wanted, but he kept a safe distance between us.

“Just go! I don’t wanna talk to you..” I slowed down my pace as I took out my slippers so that my feet could touch the warm sand of the beach. The sun was setting down and there was a nice breeze in the air. I looked around me and saw the happy families gathering their things together and leaving the beach. It was only Brian and I now, and just the thought itself had me shivering. I walked towards the water and could hear his muffled steps behind me. I turned around abruptly, our eyes meeting in an intense stare. “Stop already!” I shouted. When he moved forward I stepped back instinctively. “Stop.. go away, Brian.” I repeated, this time much calmer.

“No.. I don’t want you to be mad at me.” His sad eyes forced me to drop my gaze to the sand underneath my feet.

“I’m not mad.” I countered. “I’m hurt.”. The wind going on hit my still tear stained cheeks, making me wipe them with my hands. However, it was a useless move since the tears kept on rolling down my face.

“I know and I’m sorry, but you know how your boss gets my nerves. He only wanted to win you over with his supposed help and support. He was definitely not being honest with you and it’s hard for me to watch you believe his lies.” Brian stepped forward, standing a little closer to me.

“But I’m not hurt just because of that.. it’s way more. Now, please.. please Brian.. just leave me.. I need to be alone right now.” I had to swallow hard to fight back any more tears as I looked at his broken, sad, brown eyes, watching how the light slowly drained out of them. He moved his gaze away from me, nodding his head, before turning around to leave. I watched how weakly he walked away and when he was far enough I broke down into tears, falling on my knees in the sand and burying my face in my hands, crying as much as my eyes allowed me to, as they were ravished by a cascade of painful tears.

How was this happening? I didn’t want him to go away. I never did. I didn’t know why I had said that I wanted to be alone because it was not true. I wanted to go back in time and tell him I loved him and that I was sorry. But I couldn’t, it was too late. I sat on the sand and pulled my knees up to my chest as my sobs ripped through my chest. I stayed in the beach for a long time until I thought it was time to leave. It was dark already and it could be dangerous, so I got up on my feet and went home. Once there I decided to take a shower, maybe I would feel better after that. Wrong. I was exactly the same if not worst. I couldn’t stop the tears that were constantly streaming down my pale cheeks, and my eyes were already swollen and red. My head was a mess and it hurt like hell, and my heart.. I think it didn’t exist anymore. I couldn’t call it a heart if it was completely torn apart, ripped in millions of pieces, shattered in the most cruel way, and no one could fix it. No one but Brian. How ironic was this? He was the reason my heart was broken but he was also the only one who could stick all the parts together and make it be fine again. I lied down on my bed and dialed Eilis number. I needed to talk to someone. She picked up few moments later.

“Hiii!” She squealed happily.

“He-Hey..” My voice cracked up a little and she noticed it.

“Are you okay?” She immediately changed her tone of voice and I could hear the concern pouring out of her words.

“No.. not really.” I sniffled, my eyes filling up with tears. Again.

”Oh Annie.. what happened, honey? Do you want me to come over?” She asked calmly.

“Ye-yes.. yes.. please..” I managed to answer as I wiped a few more tears that managed to break through my eyelashes.