Not Everything Is What It Seems (Book I)

Goodbye..

I didn’t expect my day to turn out this way and I was feeling so bad. I just wanted to get inside the bed, sleep and forget everything about today. I undressed my clothes and put my pajamas on. The guest room had a small bathroom which was good. It took me only a few minutes before I was comfortably in the bed. Not as comfortable as I would be if I was with Brian but right now I didn’t want to be with him and I couldn’t think about him. The way he acted today was wrong and he needed to understand that.

I sighed and turned the lights off, closing my eyes in an attempt to fall asleep. I failed in every way possible. I couldn’t fall asleep, I couldn’t stop thinking about Brian.. I was sad but at the same time I was angry, with myself, with Brian, even with that Fred guy. Why did he have to appear in my life now? Why did he have to ruin my happiness? Oh god.. No.. it’s not his fault. Eventually. Poor guy, he doesn’t even know what’s happening. I just wanted my mind to shut down for a little bit so I could sleep. After more failed tries, I decided to turn the lights back on and sit straight in the bed.

“Just fucking stop thinking!” I told myself as I massaged my temples. Just right at that moment, my phone started ringing making me jump a little. Who could it be? I rapidly stood up from the bed and ran towards my purse, which was forgotten on the floor. Without looking at the screen, I picked up the call, gluing the phone to my ear.

“Hey!”

”Annie..” Eilis sounded on the other end of the line.

“Why are you calling at this time of the night?” I asked confused.

”You didn’t say anything after leaving the beach and I was worried about you. Please, tell me that you and Brian are fine again and you’re comfortably wrapped in his arms while you’re talking to me and that I’m bothering your mome-“

“Eilis stop..” I cut her, “Stop, okay? No, Brian and I are not okay, but I don’t want to talk about it.” I sat back on the bed.

”Oh honey.. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. How are you?” Concern was filling her voice as she hesitantly tried to make me talk.

“I’m a mess. I can’t sleep, I can’t close my eyes without thinking about Brian.”

”Yeah, I can figure that. But where are you sleeping? You’re at home? I mean, your real home?”

“I’m still at Brian’s, but I’m in the guest room. I told him I didn’t want to sleep with him tonight, I just couldn’t.”

“That probably hurt a lot.. for you and for him.”

“You have no idea. His face was so sad when I told him about it, but I had to sleep here. It’s not that I wanted to sleep here, because I didn’t and I still don’t, but.. I have no other choice, Eilis.” I felt tears reaching the back of my eyes as I talked about the situation. It’s bad, thinking about it but when you put what you’re feeling into real words it’s just ten times worse.

”I thought that you and him could fix things pretty easily. You never had to sleep away from him because, usually, you guys make everything up right after your argument, so by the night you’re fine again.” Eilis was really surprised about me and Brian still being upset with each other and I was too.

“I know.. I hate staying like this with him, because deep inside I know that he’s regretted but I still need more time to forget everything.”

”Okay, I understand. Please, just solve your problems with him because it’s hurting me seeing you like this. Or hearing your little sad voice.” I couldn’t help but smile.