Not Everything Is What It Seems (Book I)

What was that?

“Ji-Jimmy.. is.. is de-dead?” I asked, while tears started to form in my eyes. Emma sat in the couch with tears falling down her face.

“Yeah.. he passed out in December..” Matt said calmer than Brian but not looking to my eyes. I could feel the hurt in his voice.

Johnny was leaned against the couch, opposite of Emma’s side, with Lacey in his arms. Michelle stayed on the same couch where Johnny was leaned on, after Brian left to the backyard; and Zacky was sat next to Emma.

She and I were still crying. We couldn’t believe. How didn’t we hear this on the news? How did this escape us? I swear.. I was a mess. Emma and I always liked Jimmy. He was incredible. We could pass all day laughing at his videos. And now he was gone. This was too bad.. this was a complete nightmare.

Moments later Matt got close to me and pulled me into a hug.

“Don’t cry, okay?” He said, rubbing my back.

“I’m sor-sorry.. I di-didn’t know..” I said through sobbing.

“I should have told you but I didn’t know that you knew us..”

“I messed everything up..” I sighed.

“No, you didn’t. It’s not your fault..” He assured. Matt was trying to make me feel better and it was really comfortable to be in his arms but I was still a little shaken up.

“Now Brian is all fucked up..” I was concerned about him. I didn’t want him to be sad or anything like that.

“He’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

I stayed in Matt’s hold for some time but when I noticed that Emma wasn’t better I sat between her and Zacky and hugged her tightly. She hugged me back and we cried silently on each other's shoulders. Moments later Zacky got up from the couch.

“I’m going to check out on Brian.” He said, walking towards the backyard.

I didn’t understand why Michelle was on the couch instead of being with Brian to support him. She was his girlfriend.

After a while I let go of Emma and turned to Matt.

“So.. the whole thing about the difficult time you guys were going through was about Jimmy?” I asked hesitant.

“Yes.. the difficult time was about Jimmy."

The sadness on his face was heartbreaking.Actually, on all of their faces. Johnny was a mess, Zacky was a mess, Brian was a mess. Everyone was a mess.

“That’s why Brian was drunk that night?” I asked to which Matt nodded.

“I told you it was a good reason..” He said, faking a small smile.

“When Brian took me to my work, he said you had been a little down but he didn’t gave me an explanation because he said it was too complicated for me to understand. I believe it was also because of Jimmy..” I half asked half affirmed.

“Oh he told you that? I didn’t know he had said that but yes, it was because of Jimmy.. that’s why I didn’t say anything to you after the night at the bar.” He said somewhat ashamed.

“It’s okay, I understand.” I smiled a little at him.

We were all silent. Every once in a while a tear would escape from my eye but I would wipe it away as fast as I could. I didn’t want Matt to see me crying again. One time was enough.

When Zacky returned from the backyard he sat on the couch next to Emma.

“So? How is he?” Matt asked Zacky. He just shook his head and we all presumed that Brian was still a mess.