'Now, I could tell you how he was tall, at least 6 feet,'
'Or how he had sandy blond hair,'
'Or that he had the bluest eyes.'
'Instead, I'll tell you how he shifted his weight onto one side,'
'How his hair curled slightly at the ends, falling into h...
I stare at my younger brother who stand in the door way with his usual grumpy stance, arms crossed and brow furrowed. He only ever visits to make sure I'm not dead. This time would be the exception, as he already saw me living and breathing at the cafe.
"Well? Are you going to invite me in, or shall we talk in the hall, where all your neighbors can see?" He asks, raising an eyebrow (or both, you can't really tell).
"Oh! Yeah, come in." I step aside, and Zane sweeps in. He had a way of doing that, walking like he was royalty.
"So. What brings you here? Shouldn't you be at your house, holed up and hidden from society?" I grin.
"I'm here to talk about Laurance." Zane says, turning on my heel to face me.
My grin deflates and I blink, confused. "O-okay? Why?"
"You know why, Garroth."
And I do. But I don't want to say that. So I say, "If I did, why would I ask?".
"Don't play dumb with me." He snaps, and I draw a sharp breath. His expression softens slightly. "I just think you should be more careful about the... nature of you two's relationship."
"The nature... huh? What do you mean by careful?" And this time I'm actually not sure what he means.
"Garroth, has the thought even crossed your mind that Laurance could be using you?" Zane looks suprised, and I probably do too, because I am.
"What? Of course it hasn't, why would he do that?"
Zane groans, rubbing his temples with his thumb and forefinger. "Why has everyone else done it, Garroth? Because we're Ro'meaves. Our family name is plastered on a major company, for Irene's sake! You know it's not uncommon for people to use us for money, this has happened so many times! You can't just forget them because this one is cute."
"I've been careful. And I haven't forgotten. I couldn't if I tried, the way you've burnt it onto the inside of my skull." I try to keep calm, waiting out Zane's temper. If I've learned anything, the best thing to do is to wait it out with him.
"Really? It sure doesn't look like you're being careful. It looks like you're getting rather cozy with him, actually."
I sigh, letting my shoulders droop. Despite the good night's sleep I got, I was too tired to deal with this currently. "The guys don't even know about the company. I haven't told any of them, and they haven't asked any questions. The company isn't well known outside of O'Khasis, really. And I live in a mediocre apartment and work at a coffee shop. I don't act like some snobby rich kid, I hope."
"Garroth, all it would take is a simple google search of 'Ro'meave', and bam, everyone knows."
"Then how can I be careful? Please, enlighten me." I frown, sitting on the arm of the couch. This could be a while.
'Well, that's the thing, you can't. There's no stopping them from finding out, unless they're as dense as they look. So the only thing you can don't even give them the chance to take advantage of you." Zane sniffs, inclining his head.
"How, by shutting myself off? By freezing everyone out? I don't work like that, Zane. I like people. I need people, actually. I'd go insane if I just cut myself off from the world and isolated myself. I'm not like you." I keep the edge out of my words, for the most part, but even still it comes out much harsher than I meant. I bite back the urge to blurt an apology.
Zane looks like he wants to growl, but instead, he goes for tugging at his mask with a sour expression."So warm in here..." he grumbles, before pulling the mask down. It wasn't very warm, and he wasn't wearing his sweatshirt any more. "All I'm saying is, maybe you should find out his intentions before you're in too deep."
"And I'm not a likable enough person for him to just want to be with." My words fade to a weak mumble, and I bite my tongue. I knew that wasn't what he meant, but it's what I felt. And I said it. Said it, despite my better judgement.
"You sure do love jumping to conclusions."
"And you sure do love acting like you can replace Mom." The words leave my mouth before I've even thought them, and I wince. The words hurt me, but if they did the same to Zane, he doesn't let on, besides staying silent.
Ten seconds pass, and I want to apologize. But I don't.
Twenty seconds. I want to say something, change the subject, lighten the air. But I don't.
Thirty seconds. I want to go back in time and never have said that. But I can't.
Forty seconds. I want to leave. But I can't.
Zane takes a sharp breath, and I think he's mad. I look at his frozen blue eyes, and I know he's mad. He opens his mouth and shuts it. He does it again, like he's grasping for the right words to express how angry he is, but they're just out of reach. But he reaches them, and I wish he hadn't.
"And sometimes," he pauses, almost reconsidering. Almost. " Sometimes, I think you're just like Dad."
My heart shuts off.
Ten seconds pass, and I want to breathe. But I can't.
Twenty seconds. I want to tell him he's wrong. But I can't.
Thirty seconds. I want to cry. But I don't.
Forty. I want to tell him to leave. And I do. And he does. So I was alone.
I topple over onto the couch when I hear the door slam. I bury my face into the pillow, taking a deep breath in a weak attempt to cool my nerves.
Sometimes, I think you're just like Dad.
I probably deserved that. I shouldn't have mentioned Mom. I shouldn't have been such an jerk. I could fill a novel with all the things I shouldn't have done but did. And now I was alone again.
I feel Raven lick my ear, and I laugh a bit pathetically.
Mostly alone.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ x x
I made myself sad tbh
such emotion very wow
ANnnnnywhozzles, I hope you all enjoyed! bye bye!
Me looking for a good Katemau fic I haven't read yet:
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