The Walking Dead Texts

Yee

Maggie has started a group chat

Maggie: Guys, brace yourselves..

Daryl: why tho

Carl: wdym

Glenn: ONCE UPON A TIME

Daryl: oh god no plz not this

Glenn: I MET A BUSH

Carl: lol let me guess, you fucked it too

Maggie: OOOOH

Rick: MY SON IS A SAUSAGE!!!

Glenn: GOD DAMNIT CARL

Rosita: uh Rick?

Rick: yeah

Rosita: did you just call your son a sausage??

Rick: Oh...so I did. Sorry Carl.

Carl: if anything im a savage

Rick: putas i meant to type that

Rosita: yo Rick do you even know what putas means?

Rick: ...i kinda just picked it up from you...

Rosita: oml you just called your son a whore

Rick: oh...OH

Carl: I mean ive done some people in my lifetime but not enough to make me a whore

Rick: CARL

Sasha: WHY'S THERE A DEAD HUMAN IN OUR HOUSE

Glenn: HOLY FUCKING SHIT ANYWAYYYYS!!!!!!!!!!!

Glenn: after i met the bush a deer came up to me and said "my name is blueberry and you are now my peasant" so i followed my leader around the forest for a while

Maggie: THATS WHY YOU WERE GONE FOR SIX FUCKING HOURS YESTERDAY

Glenn: its fine because i met another animal

Glenn: twas a beautiful little creature

Maggie: Gleennnnn

Glenn: yes my love?

Maggie: i hear noises all throughout the house

Glenn: what? pssshhh....you want a back rub?

Maggie: HOLY SHIT THERE'S A SQUIRREL IN THE HOUSE

Maggie: ITS CLIMBING ON THE CURTAINS

Maggie: THATS IT IM TAKING THIS SON OF A BITCH OUT TO GREET DEATH

Glenn: NOOOOOO PLEASE MAGGIE DONT HURT PONCHO

Maggie: Poncho? You named a squirrel Poncho?

Glenn: ...maybe...

Rick: wow this has turned into the ultimate chat of husband and wife

Maggie: shut up

Glenn: while i was out, my master brought me to a village of animals, mainly deer. but then i saw poncho, lonely and depressed. he changed my life, i changed his. our lives were finally filled with complete happiness, we complete each other. you cant kill poncho, Maggie, please.

Maggie: ...damn...

Maggie: WAIT I DIDN'T COMPLETELY FILL YOUR HAPPINESS YOU ASS

Maggie: the only thing i really have to say, besides that little rage, is ...

Glenn: yeah maggs?

Maggie: how many types of drugs were you high on yesterday?