The Walking Dead Texts

Forty Yee

Alpha has started a group chat

Alpha: we all hoes

Ron: nuh uh

Alpha: yes huh

Alpha: hoe=human on earth

Alpha: so, again, we all hoes

Glenn: yo

Glenn: that shit just blew my mind

Carl: ima hoe

Ron: ima hoe too

Glenn: ima hoe three

Ron: *yee

Alpha: good for you guys, you can count

Alpha: except for Ronald McDonald

Alpha: the highest he's gotten since I've been around was two

Enid: wait there's a scale for how high you can get

Alpha: well yea there's a lot of numbers stupid

Enid: o shit you meant numbers

Enid: wait that dont even add up it could go both ways since they go both...yoooo

Glenn: Enid chill

Carl: yo hmu

Ron: Carl no

Carl: carl yes

Ron: carl NOH

Glenn: Carl and Glenn YEH

Glenn: END OF DISCUSSION

Enid: i mean i got enough for everybody

Jesus: JESUS

Glenn: tf

Jesus: i finally got away from Daryl

Enid: do we even need to ask?

Jesus: im standing on top of someone's house, not sure whose

Jesus: besides that

Jesus: daryl's on the ground like an ant tryna find my ninja ass but he aint gonna find shit

Alpha: why were you running from him

Jesus: because he was chasing me while throwing love letters at me screaming "LOVE ME PLEASE" and i was like "YOU'RE LYING TO YOURSELF DARYL, NO" so thats what i spent my day doin

Carl: if anythang, i think YOU are the one whose lying

Glenn: yeh

Alpha: admit it, you like dick

Jesus: im not saying yes

Enid: but you're not saying no

Jesus: damn

Ron: come on, say it

Jesus: i dont want toooo

Carl: but if you do, we'll all go out n get you something awesome

Jesus: and?

Enid: ill hyu dood

Jesus: and?

Ron: damnit you needy hoe

Jesus: dont say dat it hurt my feelings

Glenn: ill get you some rarl action

Glenn: front row, too

Ron: glenn tf no

Carl: im up for it but idk

Ron: coral no we do that in private

Carl: no, we do it TO privates

Jesus: off topic but i kinda ship it

Alpha: i will reveal my real name if you confess to daryl that you like dick and would enjoy his

Jesus: please dont word it like that

Carl: but its true so why not

Jesus: true but

Jesus: its weird

Enid: OMFG

Carl: THE HUMAN ADMITS

Glenn: YESSSSS

Ron: but now he has to admit to daryl

Daryl: no need for that

Daryl: i read it all

Glenn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

Carl: IM FREAKING

Enid: THIS IS LIKE THAT SHIT WE USED TO SEE ON TV BEFORE THE WORLD ENDED AND HOW PEOPLE WOULD WALK THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE "It's okay, I heard it all" AND THEY WOULD HUG AND CRY AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

Ron: i am happiness

Carl: prove it

Ron: alright then come here bebeh

Carl: hooolyy shit

Glenn: what

Carl: lets just say he proved it

I now realize that Alpha was a character in TWD comics. T'was a mistake, doods. I was (and still am) stupid. Oh well.