is this the end? ⇝ dan howell [book two]

Just A Distant Memory (20)

Dan's POV

"Phil," I groaned, pushing my hair out of my face, curled up on my bed. Phil walked into my room, arms folded. "Phil I've ruined it now, haven't I?"

Phil didn't reply, he only shrugged sympathetically. That hurt me even more. Phil had been my best friend for years. I could tell him anything. He would always give me his opinion, and his advice. But the saddest thing was that he didn't even try with me anymore. It was like he didn't even care, and he wasn't even bothered.

In some way or another, everyone was slowly drifting away from me. I felt useless and weak. I didn't feel like Danisnotonfire anymore. I just don't know who I am. 

I was just an idiot. Someone who fell madly in love with someone else who I knew from the beginning was wrong. Maybe Scarlett wasn't the one for me. But for four whole years she was. I'm twenty two years old, and I have plenty more of my life to experience.

But I want to be with Scarlett for the rest of my life.

I want everything to be perfect between us. I choked as a tear rolled down my cheek. I never cried, but now. 

"I'm sorry Dan. I don't know what to say." Phil admitted. 

The old Phil would come and comfort me until I felt better. But he was just standing there, by my bed staring at me. "What do I do?" I gasped, holding my breath to prevent me from sobbing again.

"I don't know." Phil repeated. "Good luck."  Phil turned his heel and walked out of my bedroom. That was it? Good luck? 

I climbed into my blankets and burrowed my head underneath. I was to prepare for days in bed now.

Scarlett's POV

Being with Marcus made me forget about Dan for only small moments. It felt good not to have him constantly annoying me. We sat on his unfamiliar brown sofa with Zoe and Alfie. I'd never met them before but they were both so nice! Zoe was being really helpful, telling me that I just needed to forget about him, and that I'm worth so much more than him. And quite honestly, it worked! Alfie was just goofing around, making us all laugh but I didn't regret a moment I was spending with them

However, even while talking to Zoe I couldn't help but feel Marcus' eyes boring into my back. After the duo left a started conversation with Marcus. He didn't mention Dan, he didn't mention no one but me. 

"You need to find someone better than Dan. Some one who loves you for who you are, Scarlett. And yeah, I know I don't know you but you are still the sweetest, most gorgeous girl I have ever seen in my entire life. You might not think it, but so many do because all that counts in what is on your inside. Dan was so lucky to have someone like you, but he was careless and lost you. Don't you want to start a new?"

He was right. In fact, he was more than right! But this didn't change my feelings. A part of me hated him, another part of me still loved him. I still loved him, so much! I loved the image of him when we first met. The image had been permanently saved in my mind for four years.

"Dan," I said, my eyes squinting. "Oh my god - it really is you!" 

"Scar!" Dan exclaimed giving me a really big hug. "It's great to finally meet you!"

"And you." I shrieked, a quiet shriek. 

It was really him. The guy I had been speaking to for weeks over the internet. And now we were stood close to each other, only inches a part. I could feel his breath against my neck, making it tingle. His perfect, chocolate brown hair flipped over one eye and his half smile which made an adorable dimple pop out of his cheek.

Little did I know four years later I'd be stuck here. "Start a new." Marcus said. That could have so many meanings. My head was pounding, I was tired. I opened my mouth but closed it when suddenly Marcus' lips were on mine. I pulled back immediately. 

"Marcus!" I gasped. "What are you doing?"

"I thought-" He started.

"Of course not. Look, I'm so so sorry. But I don't love you." I apologized.

"You don't love Dan either!" He yelled back.

I do. I don't. What could I say? "Marcus..." I started.

"Can't you make your mind up?" He raised his voice. "Sorry." He murmured.

I just shrugged my shoulders. I was through forgiving anyone.

Summer's POV

My cheek was leaning against the cold, white bathtub. My head was spinning. I was dizzy, I felt sick. I observed my pale white hands. They were uncontrollably trembling. I read it over and over again.

Positive.

Positive.

Positive.