A Love Conflicted

36 | The Voice

My leg shook back and forth nervously as I sat on Ria's couch. I watched as Sam carefully walked over with two glasses of wine in his hands.

"Here, this'll get you to relax" He said as he handed me a glass.

"Thanks" I said softly before taking a sip. It had been weeks since Ria and I went to brunch when she suggested Sam and I should talk. I thought long and hard about it and ultimately I agreed. I don't know how much worse things could get between Prince and I so I decided to just go ahead and do it. There's been so much tension between the two of us lately and no matter what I do I always seem to be at fault. It was taking a toll on me, and for the first time in a very long time, I couldn't wait to be back in LA tomorrow.

"How have you been?" he asked, trying to make small talk

"I've been alright" I admitted. I tried to not let too much emotion show on my face, I didn't want to get into any issues Prince and I were having. "Look I'm...I'm really sorry about what Prince did to you. It was wrong and I never encouraged him to do anything like that"

He took a sip of his wine before getting comfortable himself. He nodded before looking back at me.

"I know you didn't. I apologize for blowing up the way I did, you didn't deserve that. I came home and you just happened to be there so it was perfect timing for me to let out all that frustration..I still can't believe he pulled that shit" he shook his head in disbelief and I watched his face turn into an expression of distress. I felt guilty, at the end of the day all of this is basically my fault.

"Have you found another project?" I asked with a bit of hope in my voice

"I did. It's not for the mayor, but it's work" He said sarcastically. "So what finally convinced you to talk to me?"

I sighed before getting adjusting myself on the seat. "I'm tired of the fighting and all the unnecessary drama. There's been so much negativity lately and I just need to set things straight and let it all go"

"I'm assuming Prince doesn't know you're here?"

I shot him a look that screamed "wtf do you think" and he chuckled a bit

"Well, let's sort this out then" He told me.

I ended up being there for hours. I couldn't have imagined how easy this conversation would be. We were both honest and upfront. I explained to him how fucked up some of his actions were, and I admitted to not handling the situation as well as I should have. I was relieved to see that he actually felt bad for the things he did, even showing up to Paisley. He admitted to not always thinking before he acts and that was a prime example. At the end of the day we were able to settle our differences and come to a civil agreement. Unfortunately our friendship can never go back to the way things were in the beginning. Out of respect for Prince and our relationship, regardless of where our relationship stands, there won't be any casual hanging out between the two of us. I guess you could say we're more like acquaintances at this point, and that's ok. To my surprise he even agreed that our contact would only make matters worse for him, knowing his feelings still stand. But there was no more tension, I didn't despise him, and I wouldn't have to freak out whenever Ria and I are around. We know where we both stand.

-

Once I got home to LA, Blake had me hitting the ground running as far as work goes. Since I've basically been working remotely, everything is put on hold until I'm home for a short amount of time. Usually I stay home for a week or so, but I decided to extend it this time. I told Prince I had a lot of meetings, which is true, but technically I didn't need to stay as long as I told him I would. I just needed some time to breathe. I'm starting to feel like I can't be myself at Paisley Park, which should be the exact opposite.

I'd been home for two weeks now and it felt good to spend quality time with my family and Alex. If I wasn't working, I was at my parents house or with her and getting ready for the baby. That Saturday I hadn't talked to Prince in over two days. I either missed his calls or he missed mine. That night, my cousins and I had decided to go out but I wanted to at least get in contact with Prince before I left. As I dialed Paisley, the phone rang and rang with no answer. I was going to let it go, but since it had been a couple days I decided I needed to be a little more persistent. We couldn't play phone tag for a week. Finally after another several rings it picked up.

"Hello" I heard his voice answer. I can usually tell pretty quickly how he's feeling by the tone of his voice and he seemed to be in a good mood

"Hey baby" I said excitedly. Regardless if I needed "me" time or not, I still miss hearing his voice on a regular basis. It felt good hearing his deep voice ringing in my ears once again

"Hey Riley" Unfortunately he didn't sound as excited to hear from me as I was him.

"Are you busy? Took you a while to answer"

"I'm just recording is all"

"Oh.." I thought he was going to continue but he fell silent. There was a painfully awkward silence, it was as if he didn't even want to talk to me. I tried to brush off the feeling and figured he was just really focused on his music.

"How's your family?"

"They're good" I replied "I'm going out with Richy and some of my other cousins in a little bit"

"That's nice, enjoy yourself" That's when I knew something was off. Usually I'd get a "be careful", or "Call me once you're back home no matter the time", but all I got was enjoy yourself?

Maybe I was overreacting. I've been wanting him to let go a little bit for so long and it seems like he's finally trying. I have to admit, it was a little odd though. However beggars can't be choosers so I need to enjoy this while it lasts.

"Okay well I'll let you go then" I said hesitantly. I didn't really want to hang up with him just yet, but he clearly wasn't engaging in this conversation. "Have a good night, I love you"

"I love you t-" suddenly his voice was cut off by one I didn't recognize. It was a woman's voice that's for sure. I knew of every woman who worked at Paisley and I was pretty confident that I'd never heard that voice before.

"Who's that?" I asked defensively. Instead of responding to me immediately he spoke to her. I heard him mumble something along the lines of "give me a second". The longer he ignored me, the more pissed off I got. I didn't want to jump to any conclusions but I couldn't help it, who the hell did he have over there with him?!

"Prince! Who was that?" I asked, my voice rising with anger.

"Just someone I'm working with"

"Someone you're- who?!"

"She's another artist, we've been collaborating a bit. Just enjoy your night out alright? I'll call you tomorrow" and with that he hung up.

I stared at the phone in disbelief and quickly felt my eyes start to water. Was this really happening? Did I just witness what I think I did? I tried to rid my mind of those thoughts, but I kept hearing that voice over and over even though I couldn't make out what she said. Any other time I would believe him, he works with females all the time...but something about this felt off. Something in my gut was telling me otherwise. We've been so off lately, our relationship was the rockiest it's ever been. My stomach dropped at the thought and the tears I had attempted to hold back finally released. One of my biggest fears was starting to manifest...I was losing him.

I'm sorry for the long wait! I've been in a serious writing funk...aka writer's block, and trying to prep for next week. Speaking of which, I've officially posted my "blog" for the Celebration next week! If anyone is interested I'll be recapping the week day by day, so head that way for updates, link below ☺️
This will be the last update to ALC until I return! 💜

http://my.w.tt/UiNb/LiwNqcjcmC