My Perfect Stranger

-Songs-

"Anna."

I turned around. "Mamita." I tried to feign a smile but it felt odd. I can't fool myself and I know I can't even fool Mamita. I just want to feel good for a couple of seconds.

She is smiling widely at me and that smile means that she knows that I have a problem. Her approach ever since is different and I like it. Instead of firing me with queries or empathizing with you, she'll bring up a different topic that will make you forget everything for a while until you'll end up discussing your problem with her like magic. She's an expert regarding this matter.

"L.A. yun ang pangalan ng batang lalaki na nagbigay sa'yo ng chocolates." She sat on my bed. I sat on her side and every cell in my body are all ears on what she's going to say.

I'm waiting for what it seems like forever now. "And?" I can't help it but to asked and pushed her more. I want to know more about that boy.

"End of the story. Yun lang naman ang gusto mong malaman di ba?" I closed my eyes and touch my forehead in disbelief. Si Mamita talaga.

"Mamita naman eh! Ang galing mo talagang mambitin." I complained while pulling a long face.

"Hindi kita binibitin, Nana. Wala na akong ibang alam." I doubt it. Meron pang alam tong si Mamita. She is just enjoying seeing people suffer especially her grandchildren.

"As in wala na po talaga? Never ba niya akong kinausap or naging close friend po ba kami? Kasi he was my seatmate for quite a time." I pointed out. I hope she'll spill the beans soon. I hate the feeling of not knowing something that has become a part of me.

"Paano ko malalaman nana, hindi naman kita binabantayan buong klase mo noon. Saka ikaw ang kaklase, hindi ako. Kung meron mang mas nakakaalam sa ating dalawa tungkol sa kanya ikaw dapat yun." And mostly I hate it because I'm just plain stupid to forget about it.

"Mamita, bakit ba ang labo ng buhay ko?" And her magic worked on me again. It will all boil down on my problem.

"I don't deserve anyone's love. I'm just hurting everyone." I started.

"Mamita, si Bricks. He needed to go to Spain just to forget everything and move on. Si Dax. His life is a mess now because of me. Si Nikola, galit na galit siya sa akin, I've ruined her supposed to be happy ending and Aidan, I just keep on hurting him. I don't deserve his love. I don't deserve him at all. I'm making their lives miserable." I looked down and started playing with my fingers. My mind have already accepted that.

"Nana, your life is miserable too. You're also broken and hurting." I looked at her. I can't grasp what she is trying to convey. I felt a tear on my face.

"Mamita, sino ba ang common denominator nilang lahat? Ako. I caused them pain. I've ruined their lives."

"Love doesn't always mean happiness. At some point, you will get to experience sufferings because love is a package deal. Once you accepted the deal, be ready to experience both. No one's at fault. You are all just victims of love."

"Victims of love?" I looked at her searching for an answer.

"Love can be cruel at times especially to those who are blinded by it. Don't worry makakita din kayong lahat. Sabi nga ng Meralco, Liliwanag din ang buhay. Tiwala lang." We both laughed at her comparison and words. Parang bagets lang si Mamita.

"But now, I think we all need space. Kailangan ko munang lumayo kay Aidan, Mamita. He's the one who's deeply in pain because of our situation. I've done enough hurting him. Tama na. Ayoko na siyang saktan." I think that's the sanest thing to do now.

"Sa tingin mo ba, hindi siya masasaktan kapag lumayo ka?"

I breathe a sigh. She's right. "Ano ba ang dapat na gawin ko Mamita?"