A/N Hey My Lovelies!!! I'm so sorry for this one....TRIGGER WARNING!!!! suicide referenced heavily in this one....That's all I'm gonna give you...good luck babies...Enjoy<3
Dear Sherlock:
Ella suggested I start this, writing letters to you. I don't know what to say to you. Everyone thinks you're fake, that you lied and manipulated me then left me broken. I know their wrong about you. You would never do this to me. I'll never stop believing in you.
John.
Dear Sherlock:
I buried you today. I watched your casket disappear into the ground, taking what was left of your body with it. I'm numb now. I haven't felt anything since you hit the pavement. I'm not in denial, I'm not angry, I'm just numb.
I still believe in you, that won't ever change.
John.
Dear Sherlock:
It's started hurting. The images of you falling from that roof keeping me awake and breaking off slivers of my heart every time I close my eyes. I can still see you, I can still smell you in the flat and it makes it so much worse. I can't do this, not without you.
I still believe in you, but I don't believe in me.
John.
Dear Sherlock:
You would probably kill me if you were alive, not that I would have done this if you were alive. I don't know how Greg knew to come, I know I didn't call him, but he was somehow there, stopping the gun from going off in my mouth. I hate him for stopping me, but I hate you more for making me do this.
I think I still believe in you.
John.
Dear Sherlock:
This is going to be my last letter. I can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry, but I just can't. Every breath hurts and I just want the pain to stop.
I've given up.
John.
John stood in front of Sherlock's grave, the letters he had written in one hand and a loaded gun in the other. Tears fell from his eyes as he fell to his knees, the cold dampness of the ground seeping through his trousers.
A small fluttering caught his eye and he reached for the grave.
It was a note, small and simple, in handwriting that made his heart leap.
My Dearest John:
Just hold on, I'll be home soon.
I love you
Sherlock Holmes
Dear Sherlock:
I got your note. I will try, I will try my hardest to hold on for you. Please come home soon. I can't live without you.
