Hey My Lovelies!!! Here is your daily dose of angst :) I was hanging out with MandyFullertonLee (Pokemoning...not gonna lie...I'm an adult I can hunt Pokemon if I choose!) Anywho....Chainsaw by Nick Jonas was in my playlist and I came up with this heartbreaking idea...Mary is dead, John is dating Sherlock and has to return to his and Mary's house to pack it up to sell and can't deal with it. Enjoy<3
I'll take a chainsaw to the sofa
Where I held your body close for so long, so long
I've got to pack up the house today. It's the first time I'll be going back there since you died. I don't want to do this.
Its been three weeks, it shouldn't be this painful. I should be happy, I'm with Sherlock now, he makes me happy.
Walk in the house, lights are off
In the closet by the door, there's your coat
I wasn't thinking of you before
God, I forgot how much of your stuff is still here. The whole place still smells like you. How is that possible? You have been gone for three weeks.
Too many rooms in this house, so I keep going out
What the hell is that about?
We gotta find a way to be okay
I don't want to be here. I can't do this. Why does this still hurt so much?
I know I loved you, I know I still love you, so why am I so angry at you?
You left us. You tried to kill Sherlock then you left us. Now you're dead and Rosie has no mother. I would have forgiven you. We could have made it work.
And maybe I'll just take a chainsaw to the sofa
Where I held your body close for so long, so long
I'm gonna break the fucking china
'Cause it's just one more reminder you're gone, you're gone
God, I am just so mad at you! I just want to break everything you touched. Everything in this bloody house reminds me of you.
I can feel my body start to shake at the memories of you.
Keep finding things that you left on purpose
Did you plan that your timing's perfect?
Gotta find a way to be okay
I should have hired someone to do this. I just want to break everything.
And maybe I'll just take a chainsaw to the sofa
Where I held your body close for so long, so long
I'm gonna break the fucking china
'Cause it's just one more reminder you're gone, you're gone
I hear glass breaking in the distance. My throat feels raw and my hands hurt, but I can't focus through the fog in my head.
We were building brick by brick
Now it's just a quicksand home, yeah
You left! You abandoned us! We could have been happy! How could you do this to us?
I could put a sign in the lawn
But it'd mean that I would wanna let you go
And I don't wanna let you go
How can I still feel this way? I am finally moving on. I am with the man I have loved for so long. Why can't I let you go?
"John!" My hands hurt so bad. I can feel something wrapping around my waist. I kick my feet and try to fight it. Its you, I know it is, trying to keep me away from him. "John!"
I'll burn everything that binds us
Take a lighter to the mattress and run
I want to erase you from my life. Burn everything that reminds me of you.
"John, please listen to me." God, I miss you so much Mary.
I promised you I wouldn't come, you said you needed to do this alone. I tried, I really did, but the thought of you being back in that house alone- I just couldn't do it. So here I am, standing outside the door, debating whether I should go in.
I can hear screaming. Something is wrong. I rush in and see you, smashing a picture frame in your hands.
"Why can't I let you go?" Your hands are bleeding and your face is streaked with tears and I can feel my very soul shatter at the sight.
"John!" I grab you, trying to get you away from the glass. I've got to get you out of here.
"Sherlock!" You fight me, kicking your feet and screaming my name.
"John, please listen to me." I'm crying now too. I can't help it, you're hurting and you can't hear my pleas. I hold you close, trying to comfort you, to make the hurt go away.
I can feel you start to settle in my arms.
"Sh-Sherl-lock?"
"I'm here Love. I'll always be here."
"She left us Sherlock."
"I know Love."
"How could she leave us?" I don't know how to respond to that, so I just turn you around and pull you close. "Sherlock?"
"Yes Love?"
"Take me home please?" I move my hands to your face, pulling you up so I can see those glorious eyes I have fallen so hard for. I nod gently, leaning down and kissing your face tenderly. I kiss your cheeks, your nose, your eyelids, your lips. I want to show you how much I love you, how much I hate seeing you so upset.
"I love you John."
"I love you too Sherlock."
I turned and lead you out of the house, closing and locking it behind us. Mycroft will get someone to pack it up for you.
I won't let you hurt us anymore Mary. I never want to see John like this again.
