A/N Hey My Lovelies!!!! Okay...another angsty one for you guys....I am sorry for all the angst...you guys can blame MandyFullertonLee for this one....she mentioned something and I got fixated....I wrote it to the song Brother by Falling In Reverse...the lead singer's brother killed himself and he wrote this angsty ball of fuckery and emotional hell that became one of the saddest songs I have ever heard....I am going to throw in a TRIGGER WARNING!!!! just because this one does talk about suicide and suicidal impulses.....I had to pick and choose which lyrics to use because some of them didn't really fit...basically, it is after the fall and John comes to talk to Sherlock's grave....Enjoy <3
What do I do?
What do I say?
"Hey Sherlock. Its me again. Obviously. God, you probably hate this, don't you? I can almost hear you bitching me out for coming here. Well what the fuck else am I supposed to do? This is the only way I can talk to you again."
And Dad tells me to pray.
So, I prayed and prayed but the hurt won't go away.
"I tried praying. Everyone says that is supposed to help. It doesn't, not really any surprise there. How in the hell am I supposed to get over you now?"
The pain gets worse, it never stops,
And I've asked the Lord for us to swap.
I beg and plead, 'cause you have kids to feed
"How is it that you thought this was the best choice? You have no idea how much this hurts. It's like someone took a dull blade and is trying to cut out my heart. It gets worse every day. I wish I could trade places with you. The world needs you, no one needs me.
Why is it always stormy weather?
And brother,
Tell me if it all gets better.
"Why does it always seem to rain in this hell? Its like you took the sun with you when you died. You would do that you prick.
When will it stop hurting Sherlock? When will I be able to say your name without crying?"
Why did you leave?
Why did you die?
"How could you do this to me! I would have followed you into Hell Sherlock! Instead, you just threw me over the edge and left me here with your fucking demons!"
And I hope you're watching over us tonight.
"Are you there? Are you watching me from wherever you are? God, I hope you aren't. I don't want you to see me like this."
No more laughs,
No more hugs,
So hold on to the ones you love.
Your soul is free,
I love you,
"I should have told you, so many times. I regret it every day. I miss your smile, your laugh, the way you would comfort me when I would have a bad night. I love you Sherlock Holmes. I will always believe in you.
I can't do this anymore Sherlock. I will see you soon. I'm not going to live without you anymore."
"Mycroft? It's me. Send a unit to Baker Street. John Watson is going to kill himself.
Thank you, Brother Mine.
I love you too, John Watson."
