Waiting To Hear You Say "I Love You"

Chapter 44 --- His Family

Chapter 44

His Family

"And also... Noong pauwi na ako... Nakita ko si Samuelson sa may gate ng Roosevelt. At sa tingin ko alam mo na kung sino ang hinihintay nya."

Napapikit si Felix mula sa pagkakatitig niya sa kisame ng kanyang kwarto nang maalala ang napag-usapan nilang magkapatid kanina. Tumagilid siya ng higa sa kanyang kama, inuunan ang isang braso. Mula sa pagkakapikit ng mga mata ay nagmulat siya at nasabi sa sarili,  "Samuelson is freaking fast."

Hindi na niya alam kung ano ang dapat na maramdaman. He already made up his mind just a moment ago. Hindi ba nga't pinuntahan pa niya ang ina sa opisina nito para lang malaman kung pumayag na ba ang mga ito sa gusto niya. Gusto? Gusto ko nga ba talagang umalis?

Or maybe he's just trying to save himself from all the heartaches and guilt-tripping. Ilang beses na ba niyang nakitang lumuha si Samantha ng dahil sa kanya? Ilang beses ba siyang naging tanga sa pagdedesisyon at hinayaang mahirapan ang dalaga bilang resulta ng mga iyon?

He doesn't deserve Samantha's love anymore. F*ck it, but since the beginning, I'm not worthy of her.

Sa naisip ay hindi niya napigil ang sariling maluha. Dumapa siya ng higa, nakatuon ang mukha sa unan, dahilan para hindi siya makahinga. Just die, Me. Just f*cking die.

But he heard his mind saying, "That's running away, too, you know?"

So he turned his head to the side and sighed.

Maybe he really just want to run away but what's the harm? His wanting to run away will actually bring Samantha good. Kung malayo siya sa dalaga, hindi niya ito masasaktan. Kasabay noon, mapapadali ang paglimot ng dalaga sa kanya. It's easier to forget someone you rarely — will never, see. Hindi ba't mas okay yon? This is the least he could do for her.

Even if it means he'll be hurt by his decision.

---

Hindi agad nakapagsalita si Samantha. Kita rin ni Samuelson ang pagkagulat sa mukha ng sariling ina. He let silence fill the room until both of them recovers. He knows what he just told his mom gave her a sudden blow. He's expecting she'll just stare into space, unable to process what he just confessed. But he had a different reaction.

She cleared her throat sophisticatedly and smiled at Samantha who is too dumbstruck to even blink. "We'll be having barbecue tonight in the garden. Join us, hija."

"You are?" Asked Samuelson. Ngayon siya naman ang nagulat. Why am I uninvited?

"We are," pagtatama ng kanyang ina pagkatapos ay tumingin pabalik kay Samantha na ngayon nama'y gulung-gulo sa nangyayari. "You can't say no. Magagalit ako."

Samantha unknowingly nodded that surprised Samuelson. "You'll stay for dinner?" Gulat nitong tanong.

"Of course she will!" Mercedes confidently said. "And she'll help me with the groceries."

"You'll just do the groceries now?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Samuelson. Kilala nito ang ina. Matagal itong mamili. It's already quarter to six. Anong oras nitong plano mag-ihaw sa labas?

"Yes. Since I decided to do the barbecue just now."

Napanganga na lamang si Samuelson. She really is her mother. Basta basta na lang magdesisyon.

"Then we'll help you with the groceries," nakangiting sagot ni Samuelson nang maproseso ang plano ng ina, na siya namang  umani ng masamang tingin mula sa ina.