Waiting To Hear You Say "I Love You"

Chapter 59 --- Giving Up

Chapter 59

Giving Up

Felix woke up at the sound of loud continuous knocks on his door. He grunted when he heard Amethyst's voice after each knock.

"Open the door!"

Mukhang walang balak tumigil ang dalaga kaya wala syang ibang choice kundi ang tumayo at buksan ang pinto.

"What?!" Paasik niyang tanong sa kakambal. Hindi ito nagsalita at tuluy-tuloy lang na pumasok sa kwarto niya. To irritate him even more, she opened the lights.

Nanakit ang nga mata ni Felix sa sobrang liwanag ng kwarto. Saglit ding nanakit ang ulo hanggang sa maka-adjust ang kanyang mga mata sa liwanag.

"Did I tell you to come in, huh?" Iritadong sambit ni Felix habang hinihimas ang magkabila niyang sentido. He opened the door wider and pointed outside. "Get out!"

But Amethyst knows her way of being stubborn. She just sat on his bed, legs crossed and arms crossed agaisnt her chest, and eyes challenging his to a staring battle.

When Felix grunted and looked away, victory was Amethyst's.

Sinara ng binata ang pinto pero nanatili siyang nakatayo sa pwesto.

"What do you f*cking want?" He said, massaging his nose bridge. "I was already sleeping."

"Anong nangyari sa naging pag-uusap nyo?"

Natigilan si Felix. The mere question reminded him of that night, the tears, the heartaches, and specially the rejection. Specially that.

May kung anong biglang bumura tuloy sa kanyang lalamunan. Maybe the pain? That it was too much that when it tried to escape from the inside, it got stuck in his throat?

He cleared his throat for an attempt to feel better, but the lump was there, still stuck.

"I'm not in the mood for this."

Amethyst sighed. She heard the dejection in his voice, as if he was begging for mental help. So, she stood up and walked towards him. Nag-angat ito ng tingin sa kanya. When their eyes met, she gave him a half smile.

"When will you be, Felix?"

Hindi nakapagsalita ang binata. When will he be is the question. When will he be able to move on from this kind of heartache? This is not the first time that he faced this. Nasaktan na rin siya noon kay Queenie. Inalala niya kung gaano katagal bago siya gumaling sa sakit na iniwan nito sa kanya. But then he realized, the pain inflicted by Samantha was greater than Queenie did.

Because Samantha loves him but chose to let go. And all because of his own fault. Because of wrong decisions.

"Lahat kami nag-aalala sa'yo, lalo na si Mommy. You're building this wall again and we're out of it again," may pagod sa boses na aniya. "Break that wall, Felix. Heartaches should not make you want to isolate and hide yourself from us. It should make you stronger. You should not be afraid to show us your vulnerability."

The lump in his throat suddenly went up to his eyes and came out as tears. She's right. He should not be taking the pain like this. Pagkukulong sa kwarto. Not talking to his family. Guilt tripping his self until his wounds won't stop bleeding. It's plain torture and he's torturing no other than himself.

Amethyst hugged him as he let himself cry on her shoulder.

"She... she rejected me, Amethyst," he said as he let his mind remind him of that night. "She loves me but she doesn't want me anymore."

Napapikit na lamang si Amethyst sa mga nalaman at napahigpit ang yakap sa kakambal.

"Don't worry," she hushed him, tapping his head on the process. "Everything will soon be alright. Trust me."