Love Game (√)

Episode 37

Response
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Hindi ko alam pero nasasaktan ako! This is more painful than ever! Top 4? Like seriously?! I feel so upset.

"Dale" I heard Eliza called my name at lumapit sila ni Jane sa akin "Dale, please calm down, let's think of a better---"

"I just want to be alone muna please?" I said because trully, I need time for my self lang sa ngayon.

"Okay Dale, pero if you need us, please call us ha? Andito lang kami Dale" and I just nodded.

People will never understand what I'm feeling right now. May gusto ako makamit, may gusto akong patunayan sa sarili ko, sa mga magulang ko at Kuya ko pero ano? Wala parin, kahit aral na ako ng aral pero parang walang nangyayari, nakakadepress na kailangan ko pag daanan to. Everything's been doing really fine noon pero bakit all of the sudden ganito ang nangyayari?

King's not inspiring me, he's destructing me. Masyado akong nadadala sakanya na hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko at macrontrol ito. It feels really heavy dahil alam kong wala namang kasalanan si King at masaya naman ako sakanya pero the fact that we have a spot na pinag-aagawan ay nahihirapan akong controlin ang sarili ko.

I like him, I really do pero there's just something in me na gusto ko nalang isipin na sana hindi ko nalang inopen ang puso ko sakanya, na sana nag focus nalang ako sa mga dapat kong pag-focusan, na sana hindi ko nalang siya nakilala, edi sana okay ako ngayon, edi sana I'm in peace at wala akong inaalala ngayon.

I don't wanna accuse pero magkasunod na 100%, really? I know this is bad, nilalamon ako ng pagiging studyholic ko, achiever blood at I don't want what I'm feeling right now. Naiiyak ako.

Tumambay muna ako sa likod ng building trying to calm myself and decide what I think is best for me.

Nag pasya ako na bumalik sa klase and just deal with my current situation later, kahit wala ako sa mood ay alam kong hindi ako dapat magpakita na I'm in my lowest point right now. I sighed.

"Nique" si Jane

Kahit ayokong tingnan pero nakita ko parin si King na nakatingin sa akin at nakaupo siya sa upuang katabi ng akin, I can't avoid him.

Umupo ako dun without saying a word.

"Nay" mahinang tugon ni King and honestly I hope he stops trying to talk to me right now dahil hindi ko pa gustong makausap siya. I'm battling with myself and my emotions na hindi ko alam dahil pilit naglalaban ang mga ito sa puso ko.

And this time feeling ko nakaramdam naman si King at hindi na siya nangulit pa.

"I'd like to congratulate everyone who made it to the top 5 of the Luzon school ranking exam, 3 from our school made it on the top places and as usual, Congratulations King" si Miss Jenny "You're still on top" she smiled at him and "Monique, congratulations also and to Tanix, the school will be giving recognitions, of course and I hope na makapag top ulit kayo and anyone of you para sa National Ranking exam, okay?" she said and I just looked at her with a blank face because I'm not really sure what to react at the moment.

Pagkatapos ng klase ay agad kong niligpit ang gamit ko.

"Libre naman diyan! Nay, Tay at Lolo Tantan is the best talaga oh! Ginalingan ng bonggang-bongga" si Nikko "Nakakaproud kayo sobra" ngumiti siya sa akin.

"Manlilibre si King" si Mokya and I sighed.

"Nay" lumapit si King sa'kin "Dinner tayo with them?" he asked politely at tila nakaramdam narin talaga siya.