My Brother's Best Friend | ✓

06. "i'm a player"

I wake up to that same annoying sound of my alarm and nearly break my phone trying to shut the damn thing up. After what happened last night I don't think I'm ready to face Sawyer yet.

I head off to school, avoiding bumping into anyone in the house.

Once I get there I am greeted with the same unfriendly faces and teachers I see everyday. Everyone anxious to hurry up and graduate already. Lots of people don't even bother to show up anymore. As soon as their final essay is handed in, they are done.

I didn't have any classes with Camille this semester, which really put a damper on my year. So first and second period go by extra slow until it's finally lunch.

"Hey" I sit next to Cam at our usual spot on the benches outside the school.

"Oh my gosh, did you hear?".

"No?" I am stunned at her excitement. It is way too early for me to even react to her previous question. "I heard that Jacob is going to ask you out".

"From who?".

"Robert overheard a conversation from him and his friends". I shrug, not really seeing any reason to get overly hung up on this. "You don't seem to be phased" she says.

"Cam, Jacob doesn't know I exist. He's too caught up in his little popular bubble. Plus he's obnoxious and a total f-boy".

"So you're gonna turn him down?".

"It's probably just a rumour" I bite my sandwich. "And, I'm not really looking to date right now".

"You're not?" 

"Well ya know" I shrug.

"Coming from you. You have been looking to date since you were twelve".

"Well, not Jacob that's for sure. Besides I just want to broaden my horizons a little". Cam furrows her eyebrows. "Oh is this still about that hot friend of your brothers?".

"He saw me naked" I blurt out.

"He what?!".

"I think he watched me as I was changing. I guess it's my fault cause I didn't really close my door".

"Woah woah, he saw you naked?".

"Yea" I bite my lip nervously. Camille sits up a little and waves her hands around frantically. "I frickin called it!" she squeals.

"Okay, then what happened?".

"Nothing, I haven't talked to him since. I don't even know what to say, or whether I should be mad at him for spying".

"Yea Hols, you should definitely talk to him". I know I should, but I don't even know how to start that conversation. I decide to just avoid him until that time comes, there's no reason to worry about it. Maybe he forgot it anyway.

The rest of the day was as boring as any other day at my school. Third period I had math and fourth I had my free period so just headed to the cafe to meet Cam after school again since we barely see each other during the day.

I order a coffee and as usual I'm scrolling through my phone for a while. My scrolling is interrupted however by a low unfamiliar voice calling my name. "Holly, hey". I look up to find a handsome guy wearing khakis, a plain white t-shirt and a backwards hat smiling at me.

"Jacob? Hey, what are you doing here?".

"Just waiting for a friend, what about you?"

"Same" I say.

"So" he sits next to me. "How have you been?" He asks. I get the weird feeling I'm being interviewed. It's strange because up until this day, Jacob hadn't said a single word to me so I'm just confused. Why now?

"Um I've been fine, thanks" I say unsurely.

"How's your English essay coming along?".

"It's a- work in progress".

"Same here, I haven't even read half the books this year". I laugh softly because I can truly relate.

"So hey listen, I know we haven't really talked much this year or anything, but you seem really cool. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go on a date?" He asks nervously.

For a minute I freak out a little. But then I remember that I totally saw this coming. Cam warned me at lunch but I didn't think he would actually do it. A part of me wants to say yes but there is bigger part that's holding me back. Probably the part that knows all about Jacob's many girlfriends over the years, and how I would not want to be just another number to him.

"Jacob, look. You seem really nice and all-"

"But you think I'm a player" he interrupts. My eyes widen as I'm taken a back. I'm glad he said it so I wouldn't have to but I'm still confused at how he knew.

"What?" I ask.

"You don't want to go out with me because you think I'm a player right?".

"Well yea I guess. But also, up until now I didn't even think you knew I existed".

"What? That's crazy I totally did". I try to hold back a laugh, but my smile breaks through.

"Okay, what's my last name?"

"It's- uh- Swanson? No, smithson".

"Close. It's Lockwood" I say with a smug expression.

"I knew that" he says smoothly. I take a minute to process and try to figure out what to do. "Look, even if you do know me, I'm sorry but my head's just not in the right place". And I'm pretty sure I have a crush on my brother's best friend. "I get it" he nods.

"Hey, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends" I try to cheer him up and I notice his smile slowly returns. The door chimes and I see my best friend walk in. "We should hang out" I say before standing up.

"Yea" he says.

"I'll text you" I smile as Camille waits for me patiently. "Bye Jacob" I wave and we both walk out together.

"Okay, you need to tell me everything" Camille says and I begin to explain.

The rest of the day went on as usual, we talked, ate food and Camille told me about a few of the many guys she's currently talking to. I came home and finally figured I should finish the essay due in less than a week.

A lot of things have been on my mind lately and one of the biggest being Sawyer. A lot of inappropriate thoughts and fantasies I wish I could get out of my head, so I decide to put them on paper so that I can sort them out.

I'm in the living room writing in my diary no matter how dumb that may sound for someone my age. I forgot how relaxing and fun it was to write all of you're feelings down on paper.

"Honey, can you come upstairs please?" Mom yells. I throw my diary on the couch and run up to see what she's yelling about.

"Look at your room" she points to the mess that has grown in just a matter of one day after cleaning it. "Clean it please" she insists so I let out a loud groan and do what she says.

I collect all of the clothes from the floor and hang them back up. I don't know how I really managed to mess my room up this quick but I do know that I get really indecisive when it comes to choosing outfits so putting them away after is just too much of a hassle.

Finally finishing, I walk back downstairs covering my yawn, only to find Sawyer, sitting there on the couch reading the little familiar pink book I had left.

My diary.