My Brother's Best Friend | ✓

18. "i fucked up"

Camille helped me calm down after that little incident at lunch. She also walked me to my locker and there we found Jacob leaning against it, waiting for me. The school was already empty as it was the end of the day, so the sound of our shoes were very prominent against the cold hallway floors. 

"I gotta- um do this thing. I'll meet you outside okay?" Cam excused herself and left me alone with Jacob.

"Hey" I smiled softly.

"I saw what happened in the cafeteria, are you okay?".

"Yeah" I replied not wanting to go into much detail.

"Look, Georgia is a bitch. That was messed up- what she did to you" his words were comforting. I chuckled and looked down at my black converse. "Yeah".

"If you don't mind me asking, what was it all about?".

"I really can't say" I shake my head.

"It's okay, but just know that if you want to talk, I'm here". His voice was so calming and he spoke with such sincerity. It made me want to just open up to him. After a short moment of silence, I decided to tell him. Maybe he could help me with my dilemma.

"Okay actually, it's just that-" I was interrupted yet again by my phone ringing, which echoed really loudly throughout the completely silent hallway we were standing in.

I answer the phone call only to be greeted with my mom's angry voice yelling at me for skipping class. It's such a stupid thing really, considering there's only one last day of school left but that never stopped my mom. She told me to come home immediately and that it was urgent so I obeyed her orders and quickly hung up.

"Sorry Jacob, I gotta go" I turned swiftly on my heels and began walking away. "Wait!" he called out.

"I'm sorry I'll talk to you later!" I yelled out giving him no time to respond before I ran towards the front doors and left.

Camille walked me home to make sure I was okay even though I kept telling her I was fine. Nonetheless, I appreciated her kind gesture. Before I could even take my shoes off, I found mom was already waiting for my arrival by the door. I don't understand the big deal at all but my mom had always been very traditional. 

We were never allowed to miss school even when we were sick, she gave us curfews even though Ryan never followed it and we always ate dinner together. Well, that was until dad left and mom had to work extra shifts.

Don't get me wrong I love and appreciate her a lot. I know how hard it is but sometimes I feel like dad is still the fun parent.

After she scolded me for ditching school her expression changed when she noticed I wasn't fighting with her, as I normally would. "Holly are you okay?".

"Yeah, just something happened- at school".

"Honey, I'm always here for you. Want to talk about it?". I simply shake my head, deciding to spare her the trouble of all the confusing details.

"Well alright. Do you want to go stay at your dad's for a while?"

"No, I'm fine".

"Okay well I'm sorry, I have to go right now because I'm covering a shift at the office but there are leftover's in the fridge and if you want you can order pizza". She kissed me on the cheek before heading out and I waved her goodbye as her car pulled out of the driveway.

I stayed up going through old photo albums and found an old picture of Ryan and Tracy back in high school. They were sharing a giant stick of cotton candy and snapped a quick photo on dad's old camera. I also found a photo of my parents from their honeymoon in Hawaii and I teared up a little.

The house was very dark expect for the dim spotlights that pretty much always remain on in the kitchen and living room. I actually liked the dim lighting because it put me in a happy mood for some reason. It reminded me of this restaurant we used to go to back in the day, before the divorce. It sounds stupid but it was always so dark in the restaurant and even though dad complained, they had the best spaghetti so we always came back.

I walked into the kitchen and decided to eat those leftovers mom mentioned. I had a lot on my mind so I wasn't even paying attention when I opened the cupboard and grabbed a plate. Before I knew it, it slipped out of my hands and onto the floor. It all happened so fast I barely had time to react. That's what I get for being short.

"Shit". The sound was so loud a dog next door started barking.

I bent down, starting to pick up the pieces, thinking this is just what I need after a long difficult day. I was startled by a hand reaching out and grabbing another piece for me. I screamed and looked up but felt relieved to see Ryan looking down at me. "Let me help".

He stumbled onto the floor and sat next to me leaning against one of the kitchen cabinets. A low groan came out of his mouth then he began to laugh which baffled me quite a bit. "Are you drunk?" I asked putting the large pieces down, surrendering to the mess on the floor.

"Maybe" he hiccuped. I haven't seen him like this since I was 13 and he came back from this crazy party on some random Friday night and mom practically beat him until he was sober. I decided to sit with him and marinate in the moment. Leaning my head back against the counter, we both stared at the blank gray wall in front of us.

"I did something bad, Holly" his voice was shaky. I turned my head to him and he seemed very distraught.

"I fucked up".

"What happened?".

"I cheated on her. I- I didn't mean to, it just sorta happened. I was an idiot" he slurred his words. I noticed tears start to fill up his eyes, which is something that I had never witnessed once in my 18 years on this Earth. "I always do this Holly. I fuck things up. The truth is that I really love her," he snorted. 

"I have ever since high school but she never knew". I guess she's not just another number to him then.

I was really conflicted because I was just so thrilled that he finally opened up to me after all these years but I really don't know how to help him. I feel really sad for all of the comments I've made in the past on his behalf. I now truly understand him and why he was like that. He just used all of those other girls as an excuse to get over Tracy but I guess he never truly did.

"I don't know what to do, Holly" he exhales. "How do I make this right?".

"It's okay, we'll figure it out. I promise".

~

Hey guys! Thank you so much for sticking around! Sorry, I've been so busy with school and work but I've been writing more and the story is gonna get better. Thank u guys so much for reading and I love you all :)