My Brother's Best Friend | ✓

19. "it's complicated"

It was finally the last day of school. Somehow I made it through the year and successfully finished high school. Unfortanetly although I was filled with excitement, it meant that it was now Friday and Sawyer was leaving Sunday. This fabulous week had turned out to be not-so-fabulous.

After coming home from school with my yearbook full of signatures from people I will probably forget, I planted myself on the couch. Sawyer came downstairs shortly after so we decided to platonically watch some TV together. He mentioned that Ryan had been hauled up in his room all day and he wouldn't come out. I was racking my brain trying to think of solutions for his predicament but there's nothing ultimately better than the cold hard truth.

I heard the doorbell ring and looked over at Sawyer who was so comfortably bundled up in a pile of blankets. "I'll get it" I sprung up and waddled over to the door. Through the window, I saw Jacob standing outside with his backpack still on. I opened the door and let him in. I checked back into the living room and Sawyer curiously sat up to see who had knocked on the door.

Before I could let Jacob say anything, I quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him upstairs. It seemed as if Sawyer was about to get up but deicded not to as I rushed Jacob into my room.

I pulled him and closed the door shut behind us. "Why are you here?" I asked.

"I-i just came by to talk. I wanted to know what you were gonna tell me back at school" he explains breathlessly from the running we just did.

I push off the door and walk towards my window playing with the strings on my dark blue hoodie. "It was nothing" I say.

"Come on" I feel him approaching me. "Just forget it, honestly it's fine" I turn to face him.

"Holly-".

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I appreciate you coming all this way but it's just a really bad time right now. I wish I could tell you but I can't risk it".

He comes in closer and takes my hand in his.

"You can trust me, I just- I want to be here for you because- I like you Holly" he scrunches his nose for a second, cringing at his own words. I feel like he's probably fed this line to a million girls but for some reason I'm buying it. For a moment I thought about how much simpler it would be if I had just said what he wanted me to. He's definitely hot with his blue eyes and award winning smile and I can't just deny the attraction I feel towards him. We definitely have a lot in common and we're going to the same school next year. Also he's my age.

But he's just not Sawyer.

I take my hand out of his and disconnect our eyes. "I'm sorry Jacob. I can't do this right now. You're very sweet but-".

"It's him isn't it?".

"What?".

"That's why you dragged me upstairs. You didn't want him to see".

"No-".

"It's fine. I get it".

"I'm sorry" I say. Without another word he turns around and leaves. After hearing the front door slam shut I sit down at my window and stare as he slings his bag over his shoulders and walks off into the distance.

After a while of pondering a deep husky voice interrupts my thoughts. "What was that about?" Sawyer stands leaning against my doorway. "Nothing" I remain gazing out my window.

My phone buzzes on my bed and snap my head towards Sawyer who is looking straight at the device. "What's it say?" I ask him while remaining seated because I can't be bothered to get up and look at it.

"'I get that it's not a good time for you but I had to tell you about my feelings for you.' It's from- Jacob".

My eyes widen immediatly as he says who it's from. This boy really needs to chill. Sawyer clenches his jaw which although I can tell is a sign of him being angry, is very sexy.

I gulp as I uncross my legs to completely face Sawyer.

"Is Jacob that same guy who tried to kiss you? Just wondering" he runs one of his fingers along my wooden door frame. "He never tried to kiss me" I defend.

"Is something going on between you guys?".

"No. Well I mean not us but it's- It's complicated. Sawyer it's not what it looks like though" I try to explain but I get flustered.

"Then what's it like?" he seems bitter.

"It's just that Jacob and I have become friends-".

"Well you seem like a little more than just friends" he interjects.

"No, I can explain-". Suddenly, Ryan's door handle twists and he opens it. He was clearly still in his pjs and his hair was a mess. Both Sawyer and I were taken completely by surprise and began to panic realizing the door was wide open. After a small hushed arguement we decided to play it cool and turn to face Ryan who was already standing in my doorway.

He seemed focused but very distressed. He came in and his eyes were glued to the floor. "I'm going to tell her" he proclaimed. I'm glad he was too preoccupied with being on edge to get suspicious of why Sawyer was in my room.

We both immediatly jumped to question his desicion but he told us that he wants to do the right thing, so we support him. He looked to me and asked "Should I do this Holly?". I was so happy that he actually valued and cared about my opinion in a situation like this. I guess he really has changed.

Later on in the night, Ryan nervously greeted Tracy and walked her into the living room telling her that they needed to 'talk'. I decided to spy on them so I hid behind the wall leading to the stairs. I heard some muffled words and yelling but after that the room went silent.

I carefully crept down the steps trying to find out what's going on and why the conversation stopped. As soon as I heard footsteps approaching me I realized it was too late to turn back. Tracy noticed me hiding around the corner and her expression changed instantly. Her face was covered in tears and her masacra completely smudged. "This is all your fault!" she snapped.

Ryan came running after her while I just stood there as if I had seen a ghost. "My sister told me what you said". Ryan came up behind her and furrowed his brows. "What?" he was confused.

"Ryan" I start, but Tracy interupts me.

"Did she even tell you?" Tracy turns around to Ryan after shooting me a disgusted look. "Your little friend Sawyer and her have been boinking this whole time". My jaw drops and my stomach actually does a flip. I just don't know what I possibly could have ever done to her to deserve this.

Ryan is completely silent for a moment as he tries to process all of the information. "You did what?" he looks to me.

"Goodbye Ryan" Tracy cries. She makes a bee line for the door and Ryan tries to stop her. "Wait!".

I run up to him with puppy dog eyes. "Ryan I'm so sorry" I say. He tries to catch Tracy before she runs out the door but he is too late. I pull him back in the house, telling him to let her go and give her some time.

He pulls out of my hold and walks back in the house by himself.

"Just leave me alone Holly. You've done enough".