My Brother's Best Friend | ✓

30. "i'm so sorry"

*inappropriate content warning*

"I miss you".

I am furious. Why does he think that he can just come in here like that and try to mess everything up for Sawyer and I. I get that he's making an effort to fix things, but him being here just brings up old feelings. And who the hell does he think he is? Why should I ever forgive him after what he did?

How can he just walk in like that and mess everything?

Whether it was real or not, he was my first love. Stupid, naive, high school, love.

~

I was drowning in my thoughts on my way to Sawyer's place while I was trying to figure out a way to tell him. Luckily I had plenty of time since I had to take the bus. I really hated public transportation with a passion. Especially, buses.

Crying babies, sick people, unwanted attention and the constant feeling of being judged. Unfortunately I'm short of a car, so I have no choice.

I managed to get a window seat in the back so I just gazed at the road and pondered up a plan.

I finally made it inside just as it was starting to get dark out. I gently knocked on door 375 and almost immediately, Sawyer opened it and pulled me in.

"I've missed you" he locks his door, pinning me against it. I kissed him back because seeing his face after a day like this is enough to wipe all my worries away.

Soon we began making out and his hands found their way to my butt. He grabbed it and with one swift move, he lifted me into his arms. I held on to his shoulders as he carried me to the kitchen counter and placed me on the cold surface.

I bit my lip and pulled him in closer between my legs and he wrapped his hands around my waist. He had a snapback on and his iconic grey sweatpants, and I couldn't believe he was all mine.

He kissed me slowly and suddenly Sebastian popped into my mind causing me to pull back from him. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I need to tell you something" I look down at my lap. His sweet taste still on my tongue, I don't want to ruin the moment but I decide now is as good time as any to tell him.

"What is it?" he asks softly. "Did I do something?".

I look up into his beautiful concerned eyes. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear as he waits for me to speak and I melt inside. A small smile forms on my face and he returns the same smile to me.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I just had a rough day" I brush it off. Sebastian isn't important enough for this. He's irrelevant and he's been out of my life for a while, there's no need in bringing this up.

"Are you sure Holly?".

"Yes" I smile at how loving he's being.

He gently places a warm kiss on my forehead. "I know what can make you feel better" he smirks.

I giggle at just how fast he can get my mind off of anything. He pulls me in closer to his waist and tilts my head upwards with his finger. He kisses me again, more passionately. My heart rate begins to increase as our mouths interlock.

His hands move down to my hips and find the button of my jean shorts. He carefully unzips them and I feel the excitement begin to bubble in my stomach. He briefly disconnects his mouth from mine and pulls off the shorts with ease.

He gulps when he sees my pink underwear and lowers himself closer to it. After pulling my body to the edge of the counter, he caresses my thighs.

I breathe heavily as I await what's about to come. He brings his head between my thighs and I tilt my head back in enjoyment. I run my fingers through his messy hair, gaining control of his motions. Soft moans escape my lips as he works his experienced mouth down there.

After that, the rest of the night was a blur, until we both woke up together, at 6:00 am the next morning.

Sawyer insisted on dropping me off to make my life easier. I'm so thankful for this guy, he woke up early just for me.

~

The kids were pretty good today, I'd hate to admit it but it's probably because of the extra set of hands. However, Sebastian kept trying to talk to me but I continued to ignore him.

My break finally came and he decided to bother me some more. I was on the bench, eating my crappy sandwich when he came and sat next to me. I rolled my eyes and sighed loudly. "Holly I know I don't deserve your attention after what I did but is there any way you could just hear me out?" he pleads.

"Then will you leave me alone?".

"Yes".

"Fine, 10 minutes" I put my food down and fold my arms.

I listen to his sob story about how he was young and stupid for a few minutes and I'm started to get really bored. Then he decides to tell me he wants to get something off his chest.

"Two years ago, my old man passed away and mom left. I've been on my own for a while and it made me realize how much I've screwed up in life" he says.

I look up at him and see his glossy brown eyes. As he talks I feel more and more guilty for the things I said and how much I wanted to get revenge on him. I see the pain in his eyes and feel incredibly stupid for turning down his apology.

"And you. I was the worst to you. I should have never treated you the way I did".

I am speechless. I open my mouth but nothing comes out, so I pause and study his expression.

"Sebastian, I had no idea" I mumble very quietly.

"It's not your fault, how could you possibly have known?".

"I'm so sorry" I say sympathetically, even though I know that probably means nothing to him. I can't even imagine what he went through.

"No you don't need to apologize, Holly. I know you think I didn't love you back then but it's not true. I did". I sigh again because I am at a complete loss for words.

"How are you- I mean- holding up?" I try to console him.

"It's still really hard. But I'm trying to get my life together" he says.

I felt so bad for this kid. I begin to realize this isn't just some stupid highschool romance drama. He's actually been through a lot of pain. How could I be selfish enough to not forgive him for a stupid mistake he made in the past after all that he's gone through.

"Is there any way we could try again?" he asks.

"Sebastian," I begin. "Look, I have a boyfriend now".

"Oh. I'm too late" he fidgets with the black ring on his right hand. I just said nothing.

"Do you think we could at least try to be friends? I'm currently not doing so well in that department either" he admits.

"How come?" I ask.

"Well I had this buddy, Oliver. But he fell off the wagon. His drug addiction just started taking over his life and I had to cut him out".

I just give him another sympathetic look, not knowing how to react.

He seems to have had a fair share of karma in his life. He sounds like he's been through hell and back from what he told me.

"I know it's probably weird for you to call me a friend after three years but I just want you to know that I am sorry. So if we're gonna be working together, maybe we can just start over?".

I pause again, trying to process everything going on right now. I look over at the kids playing in the little sandbox, without a care in the world and their whole lives ahead of them.

"Okay" I look back at him. "Let's start over" I repeat.

"I'm Sebastian, nice to meet you" he reaches out his hand with a goofy smile on his face. I chuckle lightly and extend my arm to shake his.

"I'm Holly, nice to meet you too".

Surprise! Early update! I hope you guys are enjoying the book so far because it's about to get a lot more juicy so hold on to your horses.

Next update: March 21
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