My Brother's Best Friend | ✓

39. "i was wrong"

I called in sick to volunteering like that's even possible. I feel bad but I'm sure the counselors will manage with Sebastian there. I need a break.

But do you ever notice how when you tell a child something they take a while to process it before they actually realize what you're saying? You can actually see all their brainpower at work, trying to figure out what you just said.

It's weird though, for some reason when I'm at that camp I'm reminded of why I want kids. I see the love in their eyes when they get picked up by their parents and the beautiful pictures they always draw of their mommies and daddies. That kind of love can't be found anywhere else. It's unbreakable. Then, of course, the feeling fades fast when one of them pukes or something.

Sawyer and I laid low in his apartment for the next few days. Hiding it out. I really had no plan when I ran away, I didn't even bring anything. I left it all behind, my clothes, my makeup, even my phone. Camille is probably worried sick.

Sawyer gave me all I needed for the time being. A spot next to him in bed, food and water and he lent me a few of his shirts and hoodies. They all smelled like him and I loved it.

I was chewing on some bacon Sawyer cooked for us this morning while helping him review some law stuff for school next year. The stuff is actually no joke, so props to him for doing this because I wouldn't even be able to understand half of it.

I had my legs on his lap while my head was resting on one of the arms of the couch we were on. There was a comfortable silence in his little living room. I was happy in his presence, all it takes is one look at him and I feel better. As I asked him questions to test him he would pause every once in a while and make this really adorable concentrating face which made me grin everytime.

It was around 9 in the morning which is excruciatingly early for me on any other day but I didn't really sleep much the night before and neither did he. Guess we've both been a little on edge. The sun was lighting up the whole place thanks to the giant windows in his place that face the sun. His apartment was still pretty bare with a few scattered boxes here and there but for the most part, it was starting to feel like home for him.

It was peaceful until the quiet air was interrupted by a knock on the door. We both exchanged the same confused looks and then sat up. He walked over and opened the door apprehensively. When he saw my mom he hesitated to let her in at first, but he did anyway. I assumed Sawyer's dad told her where he lived, that's how she found the place.

"Nice place you've got here Sawyer," she says dryly, clutching her purse. She glanced over at the open door to the bedroom and the tangled bed sheets and gulped. "Thank you, Ms. Lockwood," he responded leaning on the kitchen counter.

"Could I- uh- borrow Holly for 30 minutes?" she smiled politely.

He looks at me, to make sure I'm okay with it and I swallow my pride before agreeing to go with her. He gives me an 'are you sure' look so I just nod and hop off the couch. I don't understand why she can't say whatever it is she has to say in front of Sawyer.

"I'll bring her back, I promise." She jokes but the room is so tense that nothing could break the ice. She clears her throat after seeing the hostile looks on our faces. "Shall we?"

~

I didn't even know where she was taking me but the drive there was completely silent, no jazz music on the radio, nothing. We pulled up to a familiar coffee shop and I was confused as to why she would take me here. Maybe so she won't be tempted to start a scene. If it were up to me I wouldn't choose such a public location for a situation like this, but it's not like I really had a choice. She ordered two lattes for us, even though I strictly only drink dark roasts. I didn't say anything though.

We found a spot outside the shop at one of the tables with the red umbrella over it. I was still in Sawyers t-shirt and shorts with a messy bun on and barely any makeup. She gave me a displeased look which I'm assuming is for my appearance. We sipped our drinks glancing at all the people walking by, not saying a word to each other for a while until I couldn't take it anymore.

"You know this is unfair." I break the silence with my frustration. "I know Holly." She sighs. I'm glad she's given up playing dumb. There's really no need to beat around the bush anymore.

"I was wrong." She sounds like she's holding something back.

She lowers her voice ever so slightly to avoid people overhearing our coversation. "I don't know what I was thinking getting engaged without consulting you."

I just shook my head, tired of her excuses.

"I broke up with Michael." She blurts out. My eyes widen immediately and they whip to her face. She fidgets with the rim of the coffee cup and I try to contain the vast amount of emotions that I feel.

"You did?" I clarify, to make sure I heard her correctly.

"You were right. No one can replace Tony. Maybe that's why I tried so hard for things to work out with Michael because I was trying to convince myself that I could get back out there but in all honesty, we have nothing in common." She goes on. "I wanted so much to just move on with my life so I rushed the marriage, but I'm still not ready."

I listen to her patiently trying to figure out how the hell we got in such a mess. I guess seeing things from her perspective makes me feel bad for her, but it still doesn't justify her actions.

"He's a good man, and he deserves better." She lets a tear run down her face and looks down from the peering eyes.

"I shouldn't have forced all of this to happen I just thought that if I rushed it I wouldn't have time for doubts. And Sawyer is a such a good kid too. I hope you both can forgive me one day."

That's when I get up and walk over to her side of the table. I kneel slightly and hug her. She hugs me back tightly and I realize that we've all made mistakes. Some are just more severe than others. Either way, we all deserve a second chance.

"We already have."

Happy birthday to all those who said it's today! Hope all of your wishes come true and I hope you have another great year. I wish everyone a really good day and thank you for reading! You guys are all amazing.

Next update: April 18
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