My Brother's Best Friend | ✓

05. "college boys"

I get up slowly, squinting at the right sunshine blinding me through the curtains. I guess he carried me upstairs when I fell asleep on the couch last night.

I walk out of my room quietly, rubbing my eyes trying to wake myself up. I checked my brothers room and he was no where to be found. Guess he crashed at the party he was at last night. I'm not even surprised, he used to do this all the time when he was in high school. Sleep with so many girls, wake up in a different bed every night. He's a total player and that still hasn't changed.

I check the time only to find that it's 7:42am. It's Sunday so I decide today is going to be a chill day for Camille and I. I make my morning coffee and meet her at the mall in our neighbourhood.

We spend time walking around and gossiping as usual. Anything to get my mind off of Sawyer. He's been all that I think about lately. I don't know why but there's so much sexual frustration when it comes to him and I don't know what to do about it.

I stay over at Cam's the rest of the day and we make a girls day out of it. This is by far our favourite tradition. We would order pizza from this local place near our school and put on face masks. I know it sounds super cliche but we would always search for the sappiest romantic movie and watch it, every time. We'd never get bored of this routine, and it became a weekly thing for us ever since we were little.

"Can you believe we're graduating?" Cam says throwing a piece of popcorn in her mouth.

"I know right, it seems like just yesterday we were eager little freshman roaming the halls" I say.

"Let me tell you what I'm not gonna miss. Mr. Kahn's class".

"Me neither. He was the worst for bio, honestly he never explained anything".

"He also made us sit on the stool at the front of the classroom every time we were late".

"Yea, like we were five years old".

We both laugh. Leaving high school is such a scary thought for me, but also incredibly exciting. I'm already technically an adult, but I can't imagine what the future has to hold.

"Another thing I won't miss. High school boys" I shift in my seat on her couch.

"Oh boy, tell me about it".

"I swear, they're all so immature".

"Yea, can't wait for those college boys" I grin.

"Oh yeah Holly, speaking of. How's yours?" She nudges me.

"He's fine" I mutter.

"Uh huh, come on I need details" she insists.

"I don't know".

"Does he still walk around shirtless?".

"Yea" I blush.

"He's clearly doing it to get your attention".

"Maybe it's just hot in our house".

"Yea sure, likely story".

"I'm not complaining either way". She laughs. We spend the rest of the night talking and scrolling through Instagram together, until it's time for me to leave. It's the last few weeks of school and yet we still have that final essay to write. I haven't really been making any progress though. Every time I try, my mind goes elsewhere. Or specifically on Sawyer.

I get home to a note from my mom telling me she'll be home late. Ryan and Sawyer are watching sports in the living room and I'm pretty sure they're far too distracted to even notice me come in.

I close my door, hearing shouting from downstairs. I will never understand sports.

My room is an awful mess so I decide it's time to tidy up. It's full of empty water bottles and just a bunch of clothes on the floor. I walk downstairs to throw the bottles out and I notice Sawyer's eyes meet mine. He turns his head away quickly, back on the television.

Back in my room as I'm tidying up, I reach under my bed and pull out an old box of stuff. The box had some of my old dolls and stuffed animals. While looking through it a smile forms on my face. I reach in and grab an old diary of mine. I remember my dad bought it for me when I was in grade six.

I always filled it in with the dumbest things. I would write about all the guys I crushed on and all about what I wanted in a boyfriend. It's silly but the stuff I wrote I still value today.

I flipped through it and found lots of blank pages. Suddenly a dumb idea pops into my head and I decide to write an update on my life. For future reference, because I'd like to think that one day I will open this up and laugh at how naive I was.

"Dear, diary" I start off. As soon I started writing I couldn't stop. Sawyer's name popped into my head and I just rolled with it. Giggling to myself I reread my entry and closed the book. I shook my head and continued cleaning. Later I decided to take a hot bath to unwind a bit before I'm back at school again.

I filled the bath with bubbles and laid for a bit. Sawyer's name popped into my head again and I couldn't get it out. What is wrong with me?  I'm naked in a bathtub, wishing that he was in here with me. Holly, calm down I keep telling myself but it's not working. I clench my thighs and try to think about something else.

When that fails I just decide to finally get out before I become a shrivelled up prune. I wrap myself in a towel and walk back into my room. Laying on my bed, still in my towel, way too lazy to actually change, I finally see the time and decide it's bedtime.

The hallway lights are off so I assume everyone's asleep. Dropping my towel, I walk freely over to my dresser and pick out a comfy set of pink pjs to sleep in.

I turn around to turn off my nightstand light and gasp at the sight of Sawyer running into Ryan's room and slamming the door shut abruptly. Me being the stupid idiot that I am, didn't bother closing the door at all before changing.

I guess I didn't double check to see if anyone was awake. Either way, if Sawyer was standing there the whole time, he definitely saw me naked.

Oh shit.