the book of fluff (that usually isn't)

break a little

trigger warning: unhealthy relationship and mentions of abuse

Something about you, it tears me apart.

"You've got to stop doing this, Mitch."

Mitch sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, not paying any attention at all to the TV. "I don't need another lecture."

"Well, too bad. You're getting one. You can't keep leaving him after a fight."

"He probably doesn't even care."

"Don't try that with me, Mitchell. You know perfectly well he cares. You know perfectly well that he's curled up in your room wearing your clothes and sobbing his heart out."

"He shouldn't have asked me where I was going. He's gotten so clingy."

"Because you cheated on him, Mitch. You left him every night to go be with some asshole and now he's terrified you're going to do it again."

Mitch rolled his eyes. "It didn't even mean anything."

"That doesn't make it right, Mitch. You're breaking him."

"He's fine."

"He won't be soon if you keep doing this."

"Oh, come on. He wouldn't harm himself because of me."

Kirstin shook her head, eyeing her best friend disapprovingly. "As much as it saddens me to say, I have no doubt in my mind that he would. That boy loves you more than he loves anything else in this entire universe. He loves you more than he loves himself. If he thinks he hurt you, he would harm himself as a punishment. I wouldn't be surprised if he's doing it right now. This is the third time this week you've walked out on him, he probably thinks you hate him."

"Kirst—"

"Don't you 'Kirst' me. This needs to stop, Mitchell, and it needs to stop right now. You're being an asshole. Scott has forgiven you so many times; he forgave you for cheating on him, he forgave you for hitting him that one time, he forgave you for so many things that could've been easily avoided if you just controlled your fucking temper. You will never meet anyone else that loves you more than he does, and you're taking advantage of this. Instead of being grateful, you're going around spreading your legs for other men and slapping Scott when he says something you don't like because you know he'll forgive you. This is not okay. I'm all for scömìche, you know this, but if you're going to keep treating Scott like this, I'm going to have to make Scott move in with me so Jeremy and I can nurse him back to normal. If you don't start appreciating him and fucking acting like a decent human being, then I will. I'll do it, you know I will. Mitch, I love you, but I have to protect my other best friend, too. I can't let you treat him like this anymore."

Meanwhile, Scott was doing exactly what Kirstin had said he was doing. He was curled up in Mitch's bed, sobbing into the pillow. He had never hated himself more. Why couldn't he just do something right, for once in his life? He had the privilege of being with the most perfect person in the world; if he wanted them to last, he had to be better. For him.

Scott didn't know where Mitch was, but he figured he was with another man again. He deserved that. He deserved it when Mitch did it the first time, and he deserved it when Mitch hit him, but that didn't make it hurt any less. He wanted to die, but he knew he couldn't. He had to wait until Mitch came home so he could beg for forgiveness, because he knew he couldn't die while Mitch hated him.

Scott felt like he had been crying for hours. His eyes were red and puffy and his throat was raw from sobbing, but they kept coming. Every breath he took hurt, like he was being stabbed repeatedly in the chest with a knife every time he breathed. He kept replaying the moment he'd last seen Mitch over and over in his head — him stupidly asking where Mitch was going, Mitch getting mad and yelling at him for accusing him of cheating, him immediately starting to cry and trying to apologize, Mitch ignoring him and slamming the door in his face. He wished more than anything that he could go back and not ask Mitch where he was going and not ruin everything yet again.