the book of fluff (that usually isn't)

pretty

i'm sorry i've been writing really dark things lately, i guess i just write what's going on in my life

i'm sorry to those who requested something, i'll do them next i promise

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trigger warning: anorexia

Mitch frowned at his reflection in disgust. No wonder Scott didn't love him back. How could he when he looked like this? How could anyone?

Mitch examined his reflection further. He was definitely too fat. He knew he couldn't change his face or his hair or his smile without plastic surgery, but he could change his weight. Maybe if he lost a few pounds Scott would love him. It certainly wouldn't hurt.

+++

He'd put his plan into action. Each day, he ate less and less, keeping careful count of the calories in a secret journal he stashed under his bed. He wanted to jump to no calories right away, but that would certainly be too suspicious; Scott would question him. His solution was to gradually decrease the amount he ate so it would look like nothing to Scott.

He measured his weight every day. At first, it didn't change much, but after a month or so when he'd finally gotten down to no calories it began to drop. Little by little, a pound a day, but Mitch was pleased. Hopefully, at this rate, Scott would love him soon. He was prepared to never eat again if it meant Scott would love him.

He kept his body hidden, especially from Scott. He wanted it to be a big reveal. Once he'd finally stopped being so fat, he'd take off his clothes and show his pretty body to Scott and Scott would grin and kiss him and tell him he loved him. Once his body was ready, he'd show him. He knew that wouldn't be for a while, but he liked imagining it. He fell more and more in love with Scott every day, and as the numbers on the scale went down, his excitement grew.

It was like a knife to his chest when Scott brought home a boy a few months into Mitch's plan. Mitch thought he'd been doing well. He thought Scott would love him soon, but clearly, he had to try harder. He began working out in Scott's workout room when Scott was gone, hoping desperately to speed up the process. He had to be pretty for Scott.

+++

When Scott came home, Mitch hurriedly got off the treadmill and cleaned the room up, ignoring his heaving chest and pounding heart. Once the room looked unused, he scurried back to his own room and slipped into the shower. He was grateful for the handlebar on the wall that he could grip to keep his balance. Working out on an empty stomach was hard, but he knew he had to do it.

As soon as he dried off, he pulled on a sweatshirt and sweatpants and emerged to see Scott, a shy smile on his lips. "Hi, Scotty," he murmured, wrapping his arms around his waist in a hug. "I missed you."

His heart soared when he felt Scott hug him back. "I missed you too, Mitchy. Have you eaten yet? I was thinking we could order Chipotle."

Mitch peeked up at him with a smile on his lips. "I'm not hungry, Scotty. Thank you, though. Um, I- I'll cuddle with you while you eat. If you want me to." He tried his best to keep the hope out of his voice.

Scott smiled and bent to kiss his forehead. "I would love that, babe. Thank you. Let me order it and then we can sit down."

Mitch lit up. "Okay!" He kissed Scott's cheek before he ran to sit on the couch, eagerly awaiting Scott's arrival. Scott chuckled and grabbed his phone, quickly ordering his food. Mitch latched onto his side as soon as he sat down, feeling giddy. His plan was working!