Thomas Sangster, Robbie Kay, Peter Pan, and Newt Imagines

67) I Hate You Because I Love You

Newt X Reader

Newt's POV

As I walked around the Glade, trying to see if everything is going well, my eyes landed on (Y/N). (Y/N) is the other girl here other than Teresa. (Y/N) saw me watching her and I felt frozen at being caught. She just glared at me and just continued her work in the fields. I really don't understand (Y/N). She acts and looks at me like she hates me and can't stand my buggin' presence. I'd ask her why but she'd always ignore me and just walk away.

These past months, we never talked and it was a pretty good relationship. I don't even know if we have a bloody relationship. I found myself walking towards her. I just wanted to see if the work she was doing was alright. Even, if I already knew the bloody answer. She saw me walking towards her and turned her back at me. I really have no idea why she doesn't like me. Not that everyone here likes me, Gally surely doesn't but he doesn't really like anyone.

When I saw that she was going fine, I just nodded and continued on my way off. While I was walking, I felt something thrown at my head. It didn't really hurt since it was just a berry but I had no idea who had the guts to do this. I turned around and saw that everyone was acting normal. Taking one last look at them, I turned around and walked away.

-

It was already time for dinner and I was seated with my friends. My friends were also (Y/N)'s friends so the both of us were seated at the same table. Although there was something weird since the boys were sitting down quickly like they planned everything. When they sat where they wanted to sit, the only place was right between Tommy and (Y/N).

Taking in a deep breath, I took a seat in between the both of them. Of I didn't miss the smiles and looks that my friends gave when I sat right beside (Y/N). I also saw that (Y/N) seemed a little stiff and she tried to move as far away from him which is only one inch.

"So how was your day (Y/N)?" Tommy asked her.

"Fine," she just replied.

"Nothing new happened?"

"Nothing," she said.

Tommy stopped talking to her, seeing that she only gave one word answers, she clearly doesn't want to talk. Tommy then nudged me and I faced him with a confused look of what he wanted.

"Talk to her," he whispered to me.

"Why?"

He rolled his eyes. "Just do it."

"What would I say?"

"Just say hi. Do it."

I groaned and tried to face (Y/N) who was silently eating her food.

"Hi," I breathed out.

She stopped eating and lifted her head. Her eyes were staring into mine with confusion.

"Hi?" She said in sort of a question.

I faced Thomas who has this huge smile on his face. He gave me a thumbs up and so did the other Gladers. That was the only conversation that went between (Y/N) and I. I didn't say anything else and she went back to ignoring me.

-

The next day, I didn't speak with her and just stayed out of her way. Things were going back to how they were supposed to be until a new greenie came. She was another girl and her name was Jane, after the authoress Jane Austen. She seemed really nice and shy and the both of us always talked. She is a really good friend of mine now. She is also a friend of Teresa and (Y/N). As much as I would love to ask about (Y/N), I didn't.

While we were eating dinner with my friends and Jane right beside me, (Y/N) was no where to be found. I didn't bother to ask since I just thought that she'd show up any second.

"Hey where's (Y/N)?" Minho asked. Thank you!

"She's just in the woods," Teresa said.

"What's she doing? Taking some fertilizer?"

"No," (Y/N) came out of the woods with her hands balled into fists.

I noticed that her hands were filled with some blood. "Teresa," she called out to her.

Teresa stood up. "I'll get the supplies."

"Thanks," she sat in front of me and sighed.

"What happened?" Jane asked her with concern.

"Nothing," she lied. She took one swift glance between Jane and I and her eyes were filled with fury then sadness and now, fear. "It's not that important," she shook her head.

Teresa came back in a while and began to fix up (Y/N)'s hands. (Y/N) would sometimes wince with the pain but she would get over it.

"Thanks," she mumbled when Teresa was finishing up.

"Can you excuse us for a moment?" Teresa asked and the others nodded. Jane stood up from her seat right beside me and walked towards the girls.

(Y/N)'s POV

"(Y/N) what happened?" Jane asked me.

I didn't answer and just kept on walking.

"(Y/N)!" Teresa yelled out loud that I was certain that some of the Gladers could hear. I turned around and faced her.

"What!?" I snapped at her.

"You need to stop doing this to yourself," she told me.

"Doing what?" Jane asked. "What is she doing?"

No matter how much my hands hurts, I opened them and grabbed Jane and Teresa by their arms and took them to a place where I know that no one could hear.

"I'm in love with Newt," I told them. Teresa already knew but Jane didn't, so she was shocked.

"But that doesn't explain your hands," Jane said.

"I-I'm a coward," my voice cracked. "I never talked to him and somehow I have this stupid fantasy of the both of us ending up together. I am jealous of the both of you. You're good friends with Newt and you're so comfortable with him! I just wish I was like you!" I exclaimed.

"Every night when I wanted to forget my feelings for him, I would go to the forest and punch the trees until my hands and knuckles bled," I told them, mostly Jane. "I hated him! I hated him because I love him! So Teresa, don't stop me from doing this. I know you're trying to be a good friend but these feelings are so strong and it hurts me so much."

I screamed in pain both physically and emotionally.

"Promise me that this won't leave your mouths. That this confession won't be heard by anyone!"

"We promise," the both of them said.

The three of us went back and I pretended as if nothing bad happened. When I took my seat in front of Newt, I sent him a glare. A glare that silenced him, as if he was ever going to talk to me. He has no idea about these feelings that he gives me with every word and every action that he makes. He drives me crazy and that's why I hate him.

I hate him because I love him.

It's stupid, confusing and also painful.

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