online lover [ yoonseok ]

11 | forgive me

Namjoon woke up to Jin's cute snoring voices and his breath hitting his chest. He grabbed his phone and saw that it was only 6 AM, but he didn't feel like sleeping anymore. He played with Jin's hair and cuddled him as he stared at his pretty face. He loved staring at him when he was asleep, as creepy as that may sound. The only thing Namjoon could think of is that one night at Johnny's house.

It had already been 5 months but he still thought of it every single day. How close he was to.. raping Hoseok. He had known Hoseok via Taehyung and it wasn't like he liked Hoseok, because he already loves Jin, it's just that one night that fucked him over. He drank a whole lot of alcohol in a challenge with some of his friends and he got fucking wasted. Jin wasn't there with him because he doesn't enjoy parties. Namjoon on the other hand, loved parties. He used to love them, but not anymore.

The night was kind of a blur to him, but he just remembers being turned on and then seeing Hoseok being wasted and being almost unconscious. He thought it was a good idea to drug a drink and give it to Hoseok, and then bring him to the guest room Johnny gave him for the night. He remembers grabbing Hoseok and seeing his face go completely pale. He remembers Hoseok begging him to stop and crying uncontrollably. And yet, he didn't stop. He doesn't understand why. Normally, he would never do such things, but his mind wasn't working correctly at that very moment.

He put Hoseok on the bed and Hoseok was basically screaming for help. Namjoon was about to kiss him when he suddenly heard someone saying 'STOP'. He turned his head and saw Taehyung standing there, he looked like he was about to cry. Namjoon got so embarrassed that he quickly left the room and then just went back home. He lived relatively close to Johnny anyway. He remembers seeing Johnny on his way out of the house and he looked really worried.

The whole way home, Namjoon was crying. He could only think of how Hoseok was crying and Namjoon still didn't stop, and how he basically cheated on Jin. But how? Namjoon loves Jin so much!

Namjoon sighed as he cupped his boyfriend's cheeks. He hasn't told him about it, but he's scared that one day, he'll find out some way. The worst thing that could happen was Jin leaving him, he shuddered at the thought of it.

He suddenly thought of Yoongi again. How Yoongi cried when Jin and him told him that they are dating. Yoongi is such a sweet guy, he didn't deserve any of this..
And yet, I broke his heart.
Yoongi always took care of me, cooking what I wanted to eat, always hugging me and telling me cute stories. And I just used him, like he was a tool. I wish I could make it up to him and Hoseok.. but how?

I still have Yoongi's phone number, and I have Taehyung's phone number too. But both of them fucking hate me. Not that I don't understand that, but I really have to apologize to them, it's been too long.

Namjoon:
Hi Yoongi

Namjoon nervously played with Jin's fingers as he was waiting for an answer from Yoongi. After about 7 minutes, Yoongi finally responded.

Yoongi:
Tf u want

Okay so he's still mad at me..
Well obviously, he has every right to hate me.

Namjoon:
Okay look I know that you hate me but I just wanted to say that I am so so so so sorry from
the bottom of my heart, I am the worst human alive and you deserve a good boyfriend who cares a lot about you

Yoongi:
You're really fucking late

Yoongi:
Go choke on Jin's dick or something

Yoongi:
Namjoon, I had finally forgotten you and I have a new boyfriend, so stop reminding me of the past and just leave me alone please. I'm never going to forgive you for using me for your own purposes so stop trying

Namjoon:
I'm glad that you have a new boyfriend, what's his name?

Yoongi:
His name is Hoseok, now stop talking to me please, goodbye Namjoon

What the fuck???? Yoongi and Hoseok are dating???
Namjoon put his phone back on the small table next to his bed and put his arms around his slightly smaller boyfriend. He rested his chin on his head as he slowly drifted back to sleep, lost in thought.

Yoongi... is dating Hoseok ?