online lover [ yoonseok ]

33 | homophobic

'Yoongi, your mom has called you six times already. Why don't you just pick up?' Hoseok stared at his vibrating phone.
'Because..' Yoongi rolled his eyes. 'She's such a terrible person, I don't ever want to hear her voice again.'
'Okay, but what if it's important?'
'If you're so eager.. Fine!' Yoongi grabbed his phone. 'You'll see why I hate her.'

'Hello.' He snarled.

'Min Yoongi! I was worried sick!'

'Well, guess what? It's too late for you to worry about me.'

'How.. How could you speak to me like that? Yoongi where are you?'

'I'm at my friend's house. Why?'
He felt a sudden wave of fear strike over him. Did Namjoon and Jin tell her he has a boyfriend? His parents will literally track him down and kill him bare handedly if they did.

'Please tell me the truth. We won't get mad at you.'

'You won't get mad?!' Yoongi laughed. 'Last time I told you the truth dad broke my collarbone!'
'Wait, what?!' Hoseok grasped his arm. 'Really?'

'Who is that?'

'Hoseok..' Yoongi mumbled. 'My friend.'

'Friend, huh? Wasn't Namjoon also just a friend?'

'You know what..?' Yoongi took a deep breath. 'Hoseok is my boyfriend. He has been for months now and it's going great. Frankly, I don't give a shit about how much you hate gay people.'

'Y-You're staying at your boyfriend's house?! Don't you dare do something you'll regret Yoongi.. I'll-'

'Too late. Goodbye, mom.'

He quickly hung up and turned his phone off in case she'd message him further.
'Oh, my god.' Hoseok rested his head in his hands. 'Did your dad really find it that big of a deal?'
Yoongi nodded. 'When I first told them about me and Namjoon, they kicked me out of their house. I had to stay at Jin's for about 2 months.'

'That.. That's just insane. What happened afterwards though?'
'They asked me to come back home, and so I did. I thought they understood that I wasn't the one who was wrong, but they wanted me to apologize.. For being gay! Can you believe that?!' Yoongi scoffed. 'Anyhow, I didn't do it.'

'So your dad beat you because you didn't apologize..?' Hoseok couldn't get that through his brain. How could he hurt his own son like that, because of something so unnecessary?!
'Yeah, basically. After that they just ignored me every day and when I turned eighteen they got me my own apartment as quick as possible.'

'I'm so sorry you had to go through that.' Hoseok wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. 'I'm glad they don't have any control over you anymore.. You're all mine now.' He nuzzled his nose into his neck, but Yoongi wasn't feeling it.
'Hobi.. Not now. Sorry.' Yoongi sniffed.
'Oh- Of course.. Sorry baby.'

When Hoseok embraced him for a hug, he finally let out all of his frustration. All of the built up sadness yet anger could finally be released. He dug his face deep into Hoseok's chest and let his emotions take over his though-like appearance.

'I cannot believe they treated me like this for all these years.. Just because of my sexuality!' His voice was muffled, but Hoseok could still understand what he was saying. 'Maybe.. If I wasn't gay-'
'No, don't say that..' Hoseok ran his hands over his back. 'Like you said, you're not at fault.'
'Before all this nonsense, my life was great. And I just ruined it all by this.. This stupid thing! Why.. Why am I like this?!' Yoongi bawled his eyes out.
'Don't think of it like that! Yoongi, it's not like being gay is something you should be so ashamed of! Your parents.. They are just stupid, okay? That's why you have me.. And Kookie and Tae. We'll always be here.'

'Everyone leaves me eventually.. Because I'm a failure.' Yoongi tugged on Hoseok's shirt. 'You.. Jungkook and Taehyung will all leave me.'
'What are you talking about?!' Hoseok grabbed his face, forcing him to look at him. 'Do you think all this time we spend together was nothing? All we have been through, and you.. You think I'd leave you?!'

'I always find a way to fuck up somehow, don't you see? I spent countless hours with Jin and Namjoon.. Hell, I spent the whole first 18 years of my life with my parents! And yet, I fucked it up, because I'm not worthy of anything, Hobi! Why are you wasting your time on me?!'
'Are you insane?! I'm not Jin, Namjoon or your parents, all right? I love you, I genuinely do. I'm not wasting my time at all! I want to spend my life with you, Yoongi.'

'Hey, listen to me!' Hoseok cupped his cheeks and wiped away his tears with his thumb.
'I know that people have treated you wrong, but I.. I won't do that, okay? You know you can trust me.. Right?'
Yoongi nodded and sniffed again.
'Good.. Good. Don't ever think of something like that again.. You worried me.'

Deep down, Yoongi doesn't believe it. Why would Hoseok love a fuck up like himself? He.. He who made Park Jimin kill himself? There is no way anyone could love him, not until he loves himself.