Walls

Chapter 16 part2

It was not long before I can finally say I have settled down. Not bad for someone who didn't planned the trip. I instantly met someone who helped me have a place. After a few weeks, I got hired as a nurse in a government hospital. I also got hired as private duty nurse for an elderly living across the street. I accepted everything that come my way to made sure I'll be stuffed so that I can avoid thinking. The busier I get the easier for me to forget.

But now, here I am, alone in my room. I'm on off duty in the hospital, my elderly patient went to town with his kids and will be back next week, Krissy had a flight going to Canada and would be back the next day. I did all sort of things, I cleaned the whole place, I did grocery, I tried to go shopping, even to the park just to avoid this moment but it seemed inevitable.

I glanced on my phone. I left the old one in my drawer back in New York so I got a new one here. It has been almost 7 weeks since I got here. I never told anyone where I am. Not even Dad. I hate to think that I'm making him worried sick but I know somehow he knows that I'll be fine.

I argued with myself whether I'll call Dad now or not. I still don't want to re-tell the story although I bet Jace already told Dad. I also don't want them to follow me here. I'm still not ready yet. I don't know when will I be or will I ever be but I know I am not yet ready now.

But I know too that I needed to tell Dad somehow that I'm fine. So I ended up going out and went to a nearby payphone with overseas access. Its more expensive but its better.

I dialed up my Dad's number. He had me memorized it even before I left for New York so that I can call him even if I lost my phone.

I unconsciously held my breath as I heard the other end, ring.

"Hello?" I immediately recognized the voice that answered. His voice still held authority but at the same time held warmth.

I don't know but my tongue seemed to be taken a back and I didn't answer.

I just held the receiver in my ear.

"D-Danielle? Danielle is that you?" He said.

I never had the idea that my Dad's voice would be the only trigger to help me cry because I soon realized my eyes were blurry because of tears.

"Danielle, my baby please tell me this is you."

I sensed concern and worry from his voice. I can somehow imagine him holding his phone with his forehead wrinkled with worry and his face covered with sadness.

"D-Dad.." I finally said.

"Oh Heavens! Thank you!" I heard him say.

I can't help but to cry more. I was never really close to any of my parents even when my Mom was still alive and I have always been independent. We never had heart to heart talks but this moment, I felt as if my Dad is embracing me from afar. Its as if I am his little princess who got hurt and he is more than ready and willing to protect me.

"What happened to you? Where are you? Are you alright? I mean, not alright but fine.. or... I mean..."

"Dad.." I cut him off gently.

"I understand. I'm fine. I just needed to collect myself but I'm fine. I'll not let any heartache break me that easily." I said. For once I felt like I am no longer pretending to be strong. This talk with my Dad made me feel I am not alone and I am strong.

I heard a sigh from his end then silence. I bet he's weighing whether to ask more questions. He knew better that I do not want to be forced. Not especially now.

"I'm fine, Dad. I just called to tell you that. I still cannot tell you where I am but I just wanted you to know that I'm safe. Tell my siblings too okay? I'll hung up. I'll talk to you soon and I love all of you." And before he could even protest I ended the call.

My tears were still flowing like a stream but I kinda liked it. It somehow lightens the burden I carry. I wiped the tears and composed myself then paid for my call.

I walked on my way home when I noticed a small church.

I have seen this a couple of times whenever I went out to do grocery but I never stopped.

It was a low and simple stone church with few vines crawling on its walls. I never took a second look at it before but now I felt like it was enchanting me to come inside.

I walked towards the small church and noticed few tourists and devotees inside. It looked really simple outside but it simply radiates holiness inside. The small glass mosaic portraying the image of Mother Mary on the lower left of the wall was wonderful. The sunlight passes through the colorful glasses which makes the image shine. There were a few other wonderful mosaics all over the church's interior but my eye caught a statue of Christ in the middle of the altar, stand out. He was wearing all white with arms open wide as if welcoming me. He got a beautiful glass mosaic in his back that makes him radiate more. There is natural sunlight that shines on his head that adds gentleness and warmth to his glory.

I didn't know but I felt the same feeling I had while talking with my Dad a while ago but this time stronger.

I felt like I'm home after a long and tiring battle, wounded and hurt but the mere sense of being here makes me feel like I'm being healed.

I didn't noticed but I soon fell on my knees and buried my face in my palm. I cried as if I never cried before. I just sob while in my thoughts, words flow endlessly. Its as if I was telling Him everything that happened, as if I was asking Him for security, as if I was His little girl that were hurt. I told Him everything, all of the things that I felt, all that I thought, all that I spoke, all that I did. I told Him everything I am holding, I laid all of my cards on Him, I opened my whole heart to Him. Everything.

Soon, the tears ceased. I begun to calm down. I didn't knew how long I cried but unlike the other times that I cried, this time, I didn't felt tired. I didn't felt weak. Instead I felt stronger.

The big baggage I have on my shoulder seemed to be gone. Its as if the weight has been miraculously taken off.

I wiped my face with the back of my palm and looked at His face. His face seemed to look down at my with all mercy and understanding. His face showed love and peace. He seemed like telling me there's still hope.

I was looking at His face and appreciating it when I felt a light tap in my shoulder.

I was taken a back but when I looked at who that was I was surprised.

***