Walls

Chapter 14 part1

Jace's POV

I would lie if I would say there wasn't even a hint of awkwardness after Louis' revelation.

I never thought he is gay.

Not that I am against it or anything but that was just unexpected.

He didn't act a bit feminine.

"I'm not that kind of gay." Louis said as if reading what was running on my mind.

I just smiled.

"You don't know how much relief that gave me." I said.

He just smiled.

Gay people don't deserved to be judged just because they were gay. No one deserves to be mistreated.

After a few moments of silence, I think we both agreed silently to go to Danielle's place.

"I'm honestly worried Jace." Louis suddenly said. "She wasn't answering any of our calls. Even Mrs. Styles were worried. I hope she's okay because if not I'll be cursing myself. This is all my fault."

I felt Louis' guilt. I actually feel the same guilt as his or probably greater. I was the one who misunderstood. I was also the one who left her.

I feel terribly stupid but I didn't told Louis about it. He doesn't need to know how angry I am to myself for jumping into conclusions without hearing her side.

How can I not learn about "assuming" from her story?

We reached Danielle's place. Louis knocked lightly on the door gently calling out Danielle's nickname.

I was just standing there.

Staring at the bronze plate hanging on her door.

2143-J

The memories of our first encounter flooded me.

She was not just physically attractive.

Danielle proved to me she is more than meets the eye.

She took care of a stranger like me and took me in her home, nursed me, we became friends, she trusted me, she soon loved me and what did I do?

Just because of my stupidness I let her go.

I let go of the most wonderful person I have ever met.

Louis called again for Danielle and knocked a little louder.

I was silently praying she'll answer.

Every second she doesn't respond to Louis' call the more worried I become.

We haven't heard anything from her for the past 2 weeks and I kept pushing the idea of her hurting herself in the back of my head.

She may seem so strong, so carefree, so full of energy, full of hope, full of love but I know, deep inside, she felt weak, so sensitive, full of insecurities, fears, doubts, uncertainties and pain.

I know because I saw that side of her.

I saw how a full of life face of hers hid a weak and sad girl deep in her eyes.

I felt how much she needed security in each hug.

That is why I promised I will protect her.

Protect her from all her fears.

I was slowly being successful in making her feel loved.

I genuinely love her. She isn't hard to love to begin with.

But just when she is learning to fully trust herself.

Just when she was slowly letting me see and love the real her,

I ruined everything.

I ruined every little progress I made.

Look what I have done.

I left her when she least expected it.

I left her and I know she will feel weaker than she already felt.

I am afraid she'll start thinking of hurting herself. That was what I am worried of.

And if she did that, I swear I'll never forgive my damn self.

Louis called again.

I really hope she'll answer soon because I'm close in breaking the door.

"I'm... I'm fine." a weak and low voice from the inside said.

Louis and I looked at each other in surprise.

We are both worried sick and hearing Danielle's voice is a sort of a flood of relief and guilt.

Danielle's voice was rough. I bet she has been crying non stop for days.

I felt pain.

At least she didn't hurt herself or at least not yet. But still it hurt me knowing how hurt she was. I kept cursing and blaming myself for what happened.

I wonder if she had eaten anything since that day.

"Darling, we were all worried sick about you. Even Mrs. Styles was worried. Please open the door, let's talk." Louis said.

I let him talk to Danielle because I know I would only cause anxiety and pain to her if I talked.

"I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm sorry for making you worried. I... I just need time to be alone." She said. I bet talking is making her throat hurt.

"Darling, you had tons of time already for being alone. Please just open the door."

She didn't answer.

A glimpse of hope shone on me that she will open the door but we never heard any noise or footstep inside.

Louis called her again.

"Darling, seriously. Ill break the door if you..." Louis threatened.

"I'm fine Louis. I just want to be alone. I'll not hurt myself or anything I promise. I just want to think. I need to be alone." Danielle finally said cutting out Louis.

I agree a fraction of weight was lifted off my shoulder when she assured she will not hurt herself.

"Have you eaten at least?" Louis asked. I know he was making sure she was at least physically fine.

"I'll try to eat later." She finally said a few moments after.

God, she'll go weak if she'll not eat.

"Eat now please Danielle. I'll cook for you. Just eat please." I suddenly said, wasn't able to hold myself.

Louis looked at me with sympathy. I bet I looked something between being in panic, guilty and worried.

"He's here, darling. He already know about me, and your part-time." Louis said explaining.

"Danielle, please.." I pleaded. I'm not really sure about what.

Maybe about everything.

"Babe, I'm terribly sorry. I'm an idiot. A stupid. You can shout on me, hit me just please open the door." I said.

Moments later we heard sobbing.

I knew that was because of me.

Damn! I hate myself.

"Babe..." I called

I stood before the door lightly touching the door.

The sound of her faint crying is still audible and it fcking hurts me.

If I wasn't just a crazy fcking jealous and stupid boyfriend this would not happen.

***