on love

goodbye : keirissa

with help from van aka salt

+

❝ sayounara. ❞

in which tea doesn't know the difference between 'ja ne' and 'sayounara'

tea and keiji always walked home together, rain or shine. every time tea was near her house, keiji would bid her goodbye.

"ja ne," tea would always reply with a smile on her face as she signed it to him.

now, keiji had a condition which he kept hidden from her. he was plagued with cancer, and his days were numbered.

this day, it was the last few days for keiji to live. it would also be his last day to spend time with her and bid goodbye to her.

why did he not want to tell her about his condition, you ask? it was because he didn't want her to worry about him. he wanted her to focus on the future she had ahead, a shining future that shouldn't be dulled just because of him. it was just an act a good boyfriend should do.

when the last school bell rang, keiji and tea were quick to leave the school grounds. as it had been raining, the streets were dotted with colourful umbrellas bobbing along.

the two mothers stood at the crossing light, waiting for the green man to come on. when it did, they crossed the streets in silence, umbrellas bobbing along with them, as though it was part of a choreography.

when they were closing in to tea's house, she smiled so brightly that made keiji know he would miss this smile so much. signing to him, she said, "ja ne, keiji."

he let his lips curve upwards. he knew this was the last time he would smile for her. softly, he said, "sayounara."

she waved once more and dashed off, leaving him to stand alone in the rain, tears falling from his grey-blue eyes. anyone would mistake those insignificant tears as raindrops, washing down his pretty face.

meanwhile, tea's mind was clouded with thoughts. what happened to the usual 'ja ne'? why 'sayounara'? didn't they mean the same thing? they meant 'goodbye', did they not?

+

keiji never came to school since that day. at first, tea thought he had caught a flu. days turned into a week, and so she whatsapped him.

keiji, are you okay? you've been missing school for a week now.

i'll collect your homework and bring it to you. in the meantime, take care of yourself, okay?

she switched her phone off and continued with her revision. he would reply in a few minutes. or at most, the next day.

however, he didn't read the messages. he never did.

+

a weeks morphed into a month, and that was when she realised he didn't read her messages.

so she did what she said she would. he collected his homework from his classmates and brought it to his house. she walked down the all-too-familiar street right to the akaashi residence's doorstep. she rang the doorbell, and his mom answered it.

"tea-chan?" she said, "come in!"

she did as the older woman said and entered the house. was it just her, or did keiji's mom look older?

she sat in the living room, the older akaashi proceeding to join her.

"could i get you a drink?" she asked, managing a smile.

"actually, i'm here to see keiji," tea said, "he's not been coming to school for a while now. is he feeling better?"

mrs akaashi's eyes changed, a sad look now clouding those eyes. she willed the urge not to cry as she took a piece of paper from the drawer near the television.

she handed it over to the younger girl. a quizzical look came over her face as she opened it.

she recognised th handwriting immediately. she saw it in all the little notes keiji wrote for her.

dear tea,

how are you doing? i hope you're still as fine as the last time we saw each other.

since you've managed to start reading this letter, i assume you know i've not been in school for a while.

i'll be honest: i was down with cancer. why didn't i tell you? i didn't want you to worry about me. i wanted you to worry about yourself. you never seem to think about yourself much.

by the time you read this, i'll be in a better place. where there's no pain and suffering, only eternal happiness, what we all know as "eternal paradise", or " heaven".

now that i'm gone, please take care of yourself. eat your meals regularly; don't skip meals. don't cry; keep smiling. stay happy, like you have always been. i'll be watching you from above like your personal guardian angel.

with all my love,

keiji

tears cascaded from her face like rivulets. beside her, keiji's mother broke down as well, the two females crying over the loss of a boy, a son to one, a boyfriend to the other.

it was then she knew that sayounara and ja ne were similar, but different. they held the same english meaning, but held different japanese understandings. one meant 'see you', while the other meant 'eternal goodbye'. and the particular 'goodbye' he had said was the one which meant eternal goodbye.

they were similar but different, but choosing which one to say made all the difference.

word count ; 879
date published ; 260917

a/n ; because tea never said goodbye + is this a oneshot to get everyone excited about eoys ??? jiayous friends !!!