“Hi Helen” I greeted the hospital florist as I walked into her shop.
“Well hello, Mr. Styles. How is she today?”
“She’s stable” I nodded as I sat Edward on the counter and awaited for her to gather my order of Tiger lilies for Oce’s bedside.
“That’s great. I will be right back” she smiled before leaving the room
“You like the flowers?” I kissed Edward’s forehead as he played with the flowers.
He looked more and more like Oce every day. It killed me.
What if she never wakes up? She has to wake up. She has to. Stop thinking like that!
“Here they are!” she smiled returning with the freshly blossomed Tiger lilies.
“Thank you, Helen” I smiled, “Look Edward, you think mommy will like these? They’re her favorite!”
He looked at me and smiled.
“Thank you again, Helen” I smiled
I handed her a tip for my pre-ordered flowers. She stared at the bill in her hand.
“Oh my, this is too much”
“No” I smiled, “It’s not”
I returned back to the ICU floor of the hospital.
“Is she?” I asked hopefully to the nurse on duty.
She smiled but shook her head. I didn’t give up hope. I didn’t want to. I walked into her room with Edward and sat the flowers on her bedside.
“Don’t mommy’s flowers look pretty?” I kissed Edward’s cheek
Edward laid his head down on my shoulder.
“Let’s sit with mommy” I sat down next to her bed and watched her.
I inhaled and touched her hand.
“Oceane…I love you” my voice cracked.
I touched her hand.
“I love you so much and I need you to wake up. I need you to wake up for me. Edward needs you to wake up. He loves you and misses you and your kisses, right, buddy?”
Edward reached for Oce’s hand. We held it together. Then her hand moved.
“She can hear us, Edward” I kissed her hand
Edward tried to mimic me.
“Such a gentleman” I laughed
I heard a knock at the door. Looking up I saw Eleanor.
“Hey” she smiled and walked into softly.
She touched Oce’s leg and looked away
“She’s ok. Don’t worry” I told her
“Of course” she sniffled and wiped her eyes, “Hey Edward are you ready to spend time with Auntie Eleanor?”
I handed Edward to her and followed her out of the room after I looked back at Oceane for one moment, pausing in the doorway. I walked back over to her and leaned over the bed kissing her.
I loved her so much. I wish she could hear me. I wish she would wake up.
Eleanor, Edward and I left to go have lunch in the cafeteria with the others who were visiting today. Ben was flying in soon and I knew I had a lot of explaining to do, but not as much as Caleb. We sat in the cafeteria quietly talking about anything that would take my mind off of Oceane’s condition. I could feel Louis looking at me.
“You gotta eat something mate” Louis whispered to me
I pushed the plate of food away from me.
“I don’t have an appetite”
“Haz”
“Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom” I stood up and walked out of the cafeteria and to the bathroom.
The door closed behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror. I hadn’t shaved for days. My hair was everywhere. I pushed it back and placed both hands on the sink. I hung my head.
It took this long for me to realize how important Oce was to me. It took this much; her life in danger; for me to need her in my life. I felt so bloody stupid for taking her for granted, for expecting her to always be there or to play second fiddle.
I closed my eyes as tears began to fall. I heard the door open but I didn’t flinch. The patron walked over to me and hugged me.
“It’s okay mate, let it out”
It was Louis.
I grabbed onto him and buried my face in his shoulder. I had never been so scared. I didn’t want to lose her. I couldn’t. And I couldn’t say that enough.
Oceane’s POV
I slowly opened my eyes. My body felt stiff but weak. My throat was dry. I moved my hand to my face and winced. I felt the raised bruises and cuts. I looked at my hand. It was stained with blood. I wiped my hand on the sheet and touched the tube of air that was positioned under my nose. I didn’t know where I was or how I got here.
